religion

I used to believe…

When I was 6 I used to believe that the devil lived under my bed, and if I misbehaved he would scratch my feet when I am asleep at night. So now that I am 26 I am still afraid that he might scratch my feet when I am asleep, even though he hasen't.

I used to believe…

When we would sing songs at church, they displayed the lyrics on a projection screen by using a classroom styled projector with transparencies. Naturally, when the the person in charge would move or change the transparencies, the shadow of their hand would appear on the screen. Not being aware of the projector, I assumed that the large hand I saw clearly was the hand of God.

I used to believe…

When I was young, I thought we closed our eyes in church during prayer because I was convinced that God and/or Angels came down from heaven to hear our prayers, so I would always open my eyes to see them. And I was always disappointed when I didn't.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that every person had a "recipe" and that God spent his mixing up people recipes in a big bowl and sending them down to Earth. And example would be that someone might have 3/4 cup of smartness mixed with a teaspoon of meanness and 3 tablespoons of art talent...etc. in their recipe. I was worried that my recipe wasnt very good and asked my mum if I could have a new one.

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought the holy spirit was a bird. I don't know why, but that was the image I had in my head.

I used to believe…

Up to the age of about 6, when my mum took me to church, after the readings the reader would say 'thanks be to God' and then everyone would day 'thanks be to God'. I thought they were saying 'Thanks Peter God', and that I was a God

I took "Gods got the whole world in his hands" a little too literally. I believed if we dug too deeply into the earth we would reach God's hand...oh and the sky was a handkerchief or a blanket to keep us warm.

I used to believe…

That when it rained and the sun was out the devil was beating his wife. I used to believe that when it thundered God was bowling, and lightning struck then it was a strike.

I used to believe…

This isn't my belief but its very funny:
my granny once told me that the house she had lived in with my mum and my auts and uncles had a fire guard over the fire, and whenever they said grace before a meal my Uncle would look at the Fire Guard. When they went to stay somewhere without a fire guard, he refused to say grace at all. This was because when they said "Dear god..." he'd always said "dear guard..." meaning the fire Guard!!!!

I used to believe (when I was young) that a "sun worshipper" was a kind of religion, like what the Aztecs believed. Then I learned it refers to someone who lies out in the sun to get tan.

I used to believe both literal creationism and evolution, at the same time. I believed God made the world in 7 days and created Adam and Eve in the Garden of Even and all that, but I also believed humans evolved from apes through natural selection over millions of years. It wasn't like I had worked out a way to reconcile the two viewpoints, I just accepted both of them as literal truth without them ever being associated together in my mind - one was religion, one was science, so they didn't seem at all connected to me. It wasn't until I was 11 or so I realized they contradicted each other.

I used to believe…

Whenever I wanted something, I would pray to God for it and threaten to worship Satan if he didn't give it to me.

I used to believe…

We sang a hymn/religious song (I think it was more modern than a hymn judging by the informal lyrics) at school with the line "who made Earth and Mars?" This always annoyed me because the Bible says God made Earth, but has no mention of the other planets. I had also learnt from science books that the planets were formed naturally with no influence from God. So whenever we sang the hymn, I wouldn't say the words "and Mars", because I knew God had nothing to do with making it.

I used to believe…

In my religion there is a mission training center and they called it the MTC. When I was a little girl whenever a missionary went to the MTC I thought they were going to the empty sea. I couldn't quite understand why they had to go to the empty sea to get training for their mission.

I used to believe that doing the sign of the cross opened a connection directly to God. Sometimes, in my prayers, I'd forget whether or not I "closed" the connection, so I'd do the sign of the cross twice quickly hoping that that somehow reset the connection and I could go on thinking normal, sinful thoughts.

I thought that garden where Jesus went to pray before the Romans came and got him to be crucified was called the Garden of Yosemite. I was surprised that Jesus could transport himself to North America just to pray. Then I found out it was the Garden of Gethsemane. Good thing I never brought the subject up out loud!