religion

I used to believe that taking the lord's name in vain was praying for silly or selfish things. When you prayed then God or Jesus had to stop whatever they were doing to listen to your prayer. This was a waste of their time which they could be doing more important things. This was a real problem because there are so many people in the world. Also religious people hurt Jesus's feeling when they wore crosses because it reminded Jesus of his death.

I thought the hymn "Bringing in the Sheep" was "Bringing in the Sheets" and that people would sing it when taking dry laundry (sheets in particular) off the cloths line.

I used to believe that God used the wind to talk to me: if the wind was blowing on me He was approving of what I was thinking, and a sudden lull in the wind was His signal for me to abandon whatever I was thinking about and start something new. At some point I stopped believing, but I'll probably never get rid of the "oh no" reflex that I get whenever I'm out walking and the wind dies down.

I used to believe…

In Romans 3:15 it says "[sinners'] feet are quick to shed blood". I assumed that this meant that if I had been sinful lately and I cut myself, I would bleed more than if I had a clean soul. That was a long time ago, and I'm 26 years old now, but I've never really got rid of the superstition. When I got a sunburn in Florida five years ago my instinctive reaction was that it was divine punishment since I'm usually pretty resistant to sunburn.

I used to believe…

My friend used to believe that Jesus was a horrible evil man who nailed people to a cross. She got the whole thing rather twisted but was seriously freaked out by the second coming theory. Gah.

I used to believe…

When i was younger, i imagened when you died you would take some of your favorite toys, and live in a mini playhouse in a big church. hey, it sounded good to me!

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, I believed Jesus was a hippie...peace signs and everything..and he sat up in the sky with two other Gods from different religions, and they all had blue jeans on..hence why I thought the sky was blue.
Man what went on in my head..

I used to believe…

A few years ago I went carroling with a church group. We were singing "Hark, the Haroled Angels Sing." One line of either the second or third verse goes, "Hail the incarnate deity." When I first heard it, I thought they were saying guillatine instead of deity.
The same day, I found out out I'd been singing "What Child Is This" wrong for years. I always thought the chorus went, "Haste, haste to bring him love." I felt like a goofball when I realized that the correct word was laud instead of love. Really, that's not a word youhear every day.

I used to believe…

When I was little, my mom would always tell me the traditional reason for why I shouldn't put my arm out the window: if we went by, say, a street sign and got too close, I could lose an arm.

However, my mother decided to tell me something more, just for that little extra: "That's how Jesus lost his arm."

To mom's credit, I never put my arm out a window again, but I always wondered how Jesus got his arm back to later be crucified on a cross.

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 years old, I used to believe that when the preacher pounded his fist on the pulpit it was because someone was talking in church. My brother told me when I talked in church the preacher would get mad an pound his fist on the pulpit. I believed him.

I was raised in an Athiest environment, so naturally, I didn't know hardly anything about the Christian religion until neighbours and classmates told me about it. When I was around 4 years old one of my older neighbours explained to me the story of Jesus Christ, saying that he was my saviour and he died on the cross for my sins. Having explained what sins were but not understanding what a cross was, I understood that somebody died on some railroad crossing trying to save me for some bad things I had done. My parents ended up laughing at how upset I got.

I don't know if this qualifies as a belief, but when I was real little, we went to a church where they sang out of the old redback hymnal. If you're from the south and you're Baptist, you know what I'm talking about. Well, back then I had an obsession with words, and liked for people to read the dictionary to me. I loved the way certain words sounded, but hated other words. For some reason, I hated words that ended or sounded like they ended with ATION. That's weird, but it sounded ugly to me. I have no clue why.
I would get so irritated in church when we sang songs that had words like that. I didn't like singing those words, and I thought someone should rewrite the songs. When I told my grandmother about it, she sort of chuckled.
Now I love those gospel songs, but every now and then, I think of that, and feel like a goofball. I'm glad nobody remembers that.

I used to believe that "pray without ceasing" meant pray without peeking. I didn't know what "ceasing" meant, so I guessed it was an old King James word for peeking. I was sure God wouldn't answer my prayer if I looked around while I prayed.

I used to believe…

My mom asked my 3-yo brother what was wrong as he sat quietly with a puzzled look.

He asked earnestly, "If God is in my heart, does he make it beat, or does he just sit there and watch the blood go by?"

I used to believe…

when i was little i used to believe that when you died you ended up at the top of a jungle gym with a lot of different slides, and each slide had a different animal or whatnot above it and whichever one you slid down thats what you were re-incarnated into.

I used to believe…

Whe I was a kid, we would sing this one song, "Gladly The Cross I'd Bare." I always thought of it as, and even when I was older and knew better, as an inside joke, "Gladdy The Cross-Eyed Bear." I always pictured a cross-eyed bear romping around, as in a comic. I still get a laugh when I think of it.

I believed on the Three Kings. We used to leave them grass in a shoe box and water for the camels and they would leave us presents. Until I found the shoe box in te garbage...buuuhuuu

I used to believe that when the choir would sing loudly without music that angels would come down from the sky singing with the choir and take us all away to Heaven. I would get really scared when they did this because I wasn't baptized yet and I knew they would leave me behind.