religion

I used to believe…

My family isn't at all religious, but we go to Church every Christmas and sometimes I go to church with friends. I know the Lord's Prayer now, but when I was little and had to say it I made the words up (not coming from a religious family, I rarely heard it), so it could end up like "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hello Ed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth, Asit is in Heaven, Give us this day our day Leebred, and forgive us our tress passes, as we forgive those who tress pasagen stuss...." you get the picture... I always wondered who Ed, Asit and Leebred were, and why God liked them so much that he put them in the Lord's prayer. And now, at the age of 14, I still stumble a bit at the end :-P

I used to believe…

At primary school we had a teacher called Mrs Auger. Every lunch time before/after a meal, we would all say, "For what we are just about to/have just receive(d), may the Lord make us truly thankful, Amen." My friend used to think it was actually "For what we are about to receive, Mary Auger make us truly thankful, Amen." She thought that the teacher's name was Mary and that she was the one who was making us thankful! Lol.

I used to believe…

when I was little my dad would drop my sister brother and I off at the church while he drove the van to pick people up. one morning we were just walking around the church and I saw this room where they kept all the offering money and I thought they were stealing from God

I used to believe God looked either Jafar from Disney's Alladin, an Indian man, or (duh) Jesus. I'm still only able to picture God as one of those. I also thought that The Antichrist was a guy who was actually shaped like 666, and not a human.

I used to believe…

For some reason - possibly because of being told that God was "up above" us - when I was small, my mental image of God was that he was a cloud. Not that he was ON a cloud, he was an actual cloud. A big one. With a face. The cloud was also, for some reason, pale green. It looked very friendly, though.

... I'm twenty-seven now and I still can't help kind of picturing him that way.

I used to believe that in order to gain access to heaven, you had to read a book that included everything you had ever done, heard, seen, thought, experienced, etc. The book was several stories high, and the size of a trampoline, and you had to climb onto it to read.

I went to a catholic school, so they teach me to pray as a way to speak to God, and said we must pray every night (so I did). But I couldn't imaginate how God could speak to everybody at the same time. My mum told me God has a huge pbx with answer-machine so you can leave a message that sure he will listen to. And for a long time I used to leave messages.

I used to believe…

In church (we're Catholic) there's this part where the priest says, 'Lift up your heart' and we reply with, 'We lift them up to the Lord.' As I kid I'd always stand up on my toes and stick my chest out, trying to lift up my heart.

I used to believe…

When I was about eight or nine I believed that when you die, you become the animal that you hate the most. So I would become a fish, and after that a spider, then a worm, and so on. This to make you understand every being - so that you after many many lifes wouldn't hate any animal. I also believed that after you had been every animal, you got to choose wich animal you wanted to be in your next life, and in the next, and so on.
I remember that I liked my beliefe and that it made me fell very secure and not afraid of dieing.

I used to believe…

When I was eight years old, my Vacation Bible School teacher talked about "giving your life to Jesus": as literal-minded as I was, the idea that Jesus wanted me to commit suicide for him scared the pants off me!

I went on a date once with a religious Jewish man. He told me that as a little boy, it never bothered him that he could eat only kosher food, and not, say, at McDonalds, because all the non-Jews who ate at McDonalds weren't allowed to eat kosher food. Fair is fair.

When he found out that HE was limited to kosher food and THEY could eat kosher AND non-kosher, he felt really cheated. (But he still keeps kosher.)

I went to a Catholic school as a kid and i usesd to think if you wernt catholic you were jewish

I misheard "Bringing in the Sheaves" as "Bringing in the Sheep". It was in an episode of The Simpsons. Since there are a lot of metaphors in the Bible involving sheep, I did not pay it much thought.

And my brother also misheard it like this, so we would go around singing it like that.

I used to believe…

When I was about eight or nine, I was mystified by Psalm 23 - "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want". The all important comma was not apparent to me then, and I developed a sort of weird predestination as a result. I felt that if you were good, and God-fearing then you are allowed to exist without divine interference. Further, if you were fully developed, you'd just not need to bother Him. Which, very sadly, was the exact opposite of what I felt right then.

I went to Catholic School as a child. I also knew that other kids in my neighborhood went to Public School. So, in my eyes there were 2 religions, Catholic and Public.

i used to be scared of churches because i had dreams of being trapped in one, and i thought that people a part of the church would come out and take you away if you didint come every sunday.