religion

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, I just assumed we were Mormons and went to a Mormon church service. The once or twice a year when relatives got together, the 'old folks' would talk about this or that relative being a Mormon or belonging to the Mormon side of the family. Wasn't I confused when one day I overheard Mom talking on the phone, telling whoever it was that we attended the Presbyterian church. And wasn't she surprised when at dinner I said with a puzzled look, "Mom, I thought we were Mormons?" A light of understanding clicked on when, after 9 adults and 1 big brother finally quit laughing, Mom said, "Honey, that's a family name - Moorman."

I used to believe that the beating of our hearts was Jesus knocking reminding us that he is always there.

I used to believe that the thunder was made when the angels were bowling, the lightning from strobe lights at their bowling alley, and the rain was Jesus crying because we sinned too much.

I used to believe…

This was actually my friend's belief, but I had to put it. He went to church every Sunday as a child, and they would sometimes sing the song "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear", which he supposed was a song about a bear named Gladly who had eye problems. It wasn't until later that he realized the song was "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear"

I used to believe…

We used to sing a song in sabbath school called "I'm glad I brought my offering". I instead always sang "I'm glad I brought my orphan ring"

I used to believe…

At Vacation Bible School one year, we had to sing a song called "Put on the Whole Armor of God". My friend, for the whole first day, thought the song went "Poot (like fart) on! Poot on! Poot on the whole armor of God, of God!" She finally figured out that those weren't the real lyrics, but we decided to tell my sister they were. She actually went the entire VBS singing that song that way...

I believed the line on your arm when you bend it meant you were reincarniated. It was when God sewed you together in your new body.

I used to believe…

When I was a little Catholic girl, I knew there were Catholic schools and public schools, so I thought there were two religions, Catholic and "public." When I met a new friend, I asked her, "Are you Catholic or public?" As you can imagine, that got me strange looks.

I used to believe…

When I was little, before I understood anything about religions-- I knew one thing. Praying was important. So, every night, quietly by myself, I'd spend ridiculous amounts of time praying to every fictional character I could imagine-- Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, you name it-- even the little leprechaun for St. Patty's day. And I'd end it by praying to God for everything that I hadn't covered with the others.

I used to believe…

My cousin and I thought if we dug a hole deep enough in the ground we would reach the devil and then we could kill him. We would be digging the hole thinking of all the great rewards we would get for killing the devil.

I used to think that when you had an itch and you scratched it you were letting the devil in...so Jesus didn't want you to scratch your itches...hmmmm

I used to think that God would carry a giant golden book around with everyone's name in it and put a little green check by the names of people who were going to heaven.

I used to believe…

Whenever my cousin and I were very young, she would be afraid to walk across the floor after getting in trouble because she thought Satan would reach up and burn her.

I used to believe…

When I was around 11, I was very interested in other religions. I went to Catholic Mass with my friend and was very upset that they had statues in church pray to Saints! It says right in the 10 commandments "Thou shalt have no other gods before me". I was sure that God was angry about their misguided prayers and they would all go to Hell!

I used to believe…

when I was in second grade we use to say the Lords Prayer..The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want. I thought it meant I shouldn't want Him... I couldn't understand why we prayed to Him but rejected Him all at the same time.. That was 35 years ago ..funny what you remember.

i always thought in pictures God looked like Santa Claus. Once i told my friend what i thought she said, "Maybe God is Santa Claus!"