religion

i used to believe that the end of the world would come when the devil came to take over our world, but god (who was a giant ghost-like man with a large coat that had many pockets) would come and pick everyone up who had been good, and put them in his pockets, and we would be saved. but i didn't know what happened after we were in his pockets...

I used to believe that my cats were catholic. You know how catholic people do the sign of the cross thing, where they like touch their forehead, and their heart, and their shoulders (or however they do that). Well my cats lick their paws, and touch over their heads with it. When they licked their paws I thought they were trying to touch their hearts, and then their forehead,(but they can't touch their shoulders with their paws), so they did a partial cross. Why else do they call it CAThoLIC(K).

I used to believe…

in church, where they say "let us proclaim teh mystery of faith. christ has died, christ is risen, christ will come again." I thought they said "christ has dies, christ is PRISON."
and that kinda threw me off, cuz like i didn't want to go to church and then have 2 go to prison.
=[

I thought that you say "In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen" before you pray, and then again after, because that is a toggle switch for prayer on/off.

I used to believe…

In the hymn 'Jerusalem' I thought the line was "'Til we have built Jerusalem in England's green, unpleasant land"

It actually talks about England's green AND pleasant land. I always thought it was quite mean for a patriotic song.

i've never been to church, but, when i was younger, i used to ask one of my neigbours if they could come out. But they always said, sorry, we have to go to sunday school. I thought, ooohhh, those poor people have to go to school on sunday, life must be bad for them.

I used to believe…

Sometimes my family and I used to go to my dad's childhood church for special occasions, instead of our usual one. There was a door behind the altar with a fancy iron gate, and when I asked my dad what was in there, he said that was where Jesus was. But unlike a lot of beliefs I've seen on here, I did not feel like that church was special to have Jesus living in it; I was actually kind of creeped out. Why did they have to keep him behind a gate instead of letting him out to see everyone? I ended up deciding that maybe it was not Jesus in there at all, but an angry spirit that had to be kept away from us. Or if it was Jesus, maybe HE was angry about something somebody at the church had done and was locked up so he wouldn't take revenge in public.

Recently I went back to that church and it has been remodeled to look entirely different. The door is gone and just a blank wall is there now. I might think I had imagined that door if not for the vivid memories of all the time I spent as a kid staring at it in wonder and horror during mass.

I used to believe…

When I was 5, I first went on a plane-a Virgin Atlantic one***-to America. When I returned, at school we had to sing hyms every day, and one time we sang "The Virgin Mary had a Baby Boy." Being the slightley odd child that I was, and not realising what Virgin meant, I thought that Virgin Atlantic Planes had sponsered the song. Damn.

***It was Halloween when we flew, and there was a witch drawing competition, and my sister won. She won a soft toy (a dog) and named it Virgin.


God knows what my parents thought about that!

I used to believe…

In our church, a layperson would say the final prayer aloud while we all bowed our heads and closed our eyes. For years and years I thought the preacher did something magical, because when the prayer was over and we opened our eyes, he had moved from the pulpit to the back of the church. I didn't figure it out until one day when I was brave enough to open my eyes during the prayer and I saw him walk down the aisle with his eyes wide open!

I used to believe…

ok as a kid i always went to church on sundays and one time we sat in the very back where alll the screaming babies were because my mom had just had my new sister sarah. and there were these stairs (tht i now know lead up to the balcony) in the back close to where we sat. i always used to ask my dad to take me up there but he never would and i thot tht there must be a very good reason for this. soo i started to believe that tht was the church attic with dusty old statues and that there was a door in the very back and behind that door is where God kept hell and my dad wldnt take me up there because he didnt want me to accidentaly go to hell.

I used to believe…

every sunday wen i was a little kid my parents made me go to church and we would sit in the front pew. from the front pew u got a full veiw of the alter and there were some rocks placed next to this saying carved into the wall. i used to believe that jesus's body was underneath them and i thot our church was very special because we got to keep jesus's body.


i never paid attention in church

I used to believe…

once when i went to the dentist i had a laffy gas thing placed on my nose. I though that my mom and i were floating on a cloud. i thought she was mary and i was baby Jesus. my mom made fun of me for a really l0oooooong time!

I used to believe…

Well-actually this was in my synnaguge. I was about 5 or 6 and there were these stained glass windows on the walls featuring the Jewish holidays and the twelve tribes of Israel. Well there was the one of Joseph-which is represented by a tree, and because the tree had sphere shaped fruit of green, pink and purple (dispite not being an evergreen) I concluded that it was a Christmas tree. So I happily shouted "Mommy, Christmas tree!" and she told me to shush.

I still find this to be delightfully funny.

I never really knew much about religion outside of mine (catholic). So I used to think that if a person was Christian, they were either Catholic or "other" I had know idea about the other, though.

I used to believe…

When I had chicken pox, I went to the zoo one day. And there was a lion standing majestically in its own little island surrounded by a moat.

For a moment I thought the lion was Aslan. So I began doing the a-salamaya reverence to it- but quickly realized that it was a regular lion and not Aslan.

If you want to find out why is this belief in the Religion Characters category, read The Chronicles of Narnia.

I am Catholic and when I was little I was a little confused. I thought when everyone sang Hossanna (I KNOW i misspelled that) I thought everyone was saying, "Lasagna" After church one night, my dad took my mom and I to an Italien resturaunt and my mom ordered lasagna. This was when I asked if Jesus ever minded being named after a food.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I always thought that God kept a type of scoreboard for each person on Earth. The way the scoreboard worked was that everytime you did a good deed, you would get a point for Heaven [extra extra good things gave you two points, three points max.] If you did something bad or unChristian, you would get a point towards Hell. Now, it doesnt seem that weird at this point, but this is where i dont know where my mind was. This is when the second you die, an exact replica of Jesus except super math smart adds together all your points for Heaven & Hell. Whichever side has more points is where u go. And if you died for another person (i.e. dying in a war) then you would automatically go to Heaven unless you were fighting for the bad guys.