religion

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 my family went on a vecation to spain. At the hotel resort we staied at there was a bartender named Jesus.
I always mixed God and Jesus up, so when I got back home I told all my frinds that God lives in spain and works in a bar.

I used to believe…

When I grew up I went to Catholic school and was taught by nuns. They constantly told us children that if we made a face and the devil passed our face would remain like that forever. It was years before we knew otherwise

I used to believe…

Before the recitation of the Lord's Prayer, the priest would say 'We will now say the prayer that Jesus taught us'. I knew the prayer, but couldn't remember having learnt it; thus I assumed that it was implanted in our minds by Jesus before birth.

I used to think that church songs were pop music. Well, we did sing them in church every week...

i used to believe that if you had the panphlet at the start at mass whaen the mass was near the end then the priest would start again

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to believe that the rays of sunlight coming between the clouds were how people got to heaven. The ray would rech their grave and thier spirit would float up to heaven.

I used to think that all Jewish people came from Michigan, because my dad is Jewish and he grew up in Michigan.

I was brought up a Catholic and attended a Catholic school. When we had RE classes the topic was regularly raised "Is masturbating a Mortal Sin?" The answer from the teacher was always "Most assuredly YES!!" I was terribly confused as I, not having come accross the word before, had misheard the question as "Is MASS DEBATING a Mortal Sin?" For several years I thought that groups of people having a discussion together were condemned to an eternity of Hellfire when they died!

I used to believe, that if I prayed hard enough, God would let me have super-powers. But because my prayers weren't working I assumed that I was being too greedy, and each time I prayed I asked for a slightly less impressive super-power than the last time, a bit like haggling with God, I suppose. I started off wanting to be Spiderman. By the time I gave up, all I wanted was a torch in the end of my index finger and a metal box in my belly, with a sliding door, to keep my Marvel comics in!

I used to believe…

Having watched too many Hindi movies at a very young age I believed in the special effect when you look at the idol hard , the images blur , lo and behold god appears in person.I tried loooking very hard , so hard that the image blured but god never appreared

I used to believe…

Someone once told me that 666 is the devil's number and I had this shorts which had 666 on the zipper. So for a long time I was convinced that I am the devil's son.The funny part was that if you held the zipper upwards it looked like 999 but i was convinced that it is 666 so i spend a lot of time praying that I did not want to be the devil's son.

I could never get over why everyone would sing such a gentle, sweet church hymn about a bomb. The song lyrics sounded like "There is a bomb in Gilead, to make the wounded body whole... to heal the sin-sick soul." I thought, what kind of a bomb could that be? Only one God could make I suppose. Finally the day of revelation came... "There is a balm in Gilead"

I used to believe that all Jewish males had to wear kippots (jewish skull cap) because when they are circumcised they have to keep their foreskin in their caps. And this is why they were never allowed to take their caps off.

I used to believe…

My 4 year old cousin recently asked us if Jesus is a man or a woman. We all guessed that the long hair, the beard and the robe made him doubt on everything that he already knew about boys and girls.

I used to believe…

Im from a catholic family. when i was little i misheard God- for Gordon and when we went to mass i thought we were praying to Gordon ... my uncle ... wasn' t till i was six and asked my gran why everyone i knew prayed to my uncle .. that they understood why i always looked confused at church.

I used to think that Jesus himself was buried in the altar at my Catholic Church. I guess i thought this because i never went to any other church, and i thought mine was the one.