religion

I used to believe two things:
1. That our lives were being filmed and when we died we got to watch our lives in heaven and be able to hear what any one in our film was thinking.

2. That our life was a baby's dream and when the baby woke up we died.

I used to picture God as wearing a robe and headdress like a Shiek.

I used to believe…

When I was 4, going to mass I wanted to know if we would pray to the "Monkey Women" today. Being confused my mom asked "Monkey Women?". You know "Hail Mary full of grace, the lord is with me, Blessed are the Monkey Woman..." instead of blessed are thou among women.

I used to trick my sister, Linda, into believing that if I pressed my bellybutton with my finger, while making a "buzzzzzz" sound, that I turned into the Devil. This tactic scared her stiff for about 10 years. I got an uninhibited, crazed look on my face and probably bared my teeth. I never laughed while I was doing it so she never really knew I was kidding. I only did it spur of the moment and when the two of us were alone. I'm a year and a half younger than her and felt amply justified in doing this as sometimes she had the audacity to call me a yellow-bellied-sap-sucker.

I used to believe…

durning dinner prayers, i thought that other things should be included to be blessed along with the beloved food...namely the silverware, the cups, the table its self, and other random objects like the icky car we had i named 'blueberry' bcuz it was blue, cuz i was scared if i didnt theyd kill me whilst i was sleeping...

I used to believe…

When i was 8 or so, my friend told me that wonce you die your sprit can die, and then it became a mega sprit (so on). So i allways thot that wonse you get throu with all the stages you come back to life and you remember it all. so i went around asking people what it was like

I used to believe…

Being Catholic, my family was pretty excited when the Pope visited Canada the year I turned 4. Our parish priest was a pretty old, white-haired guy, and sometime after the Pope's visit I asked my mother, "When will Fr. G become Pope?" I somehow had gotten the idea that all a priest had to do to become Pope was live long enough, and then they all took turns or something.

My mother thought it was pretty funny. I found out from her years later that apparently Fr. G had a bit of a reputation as a tippler.

I used to believe…

My older cousin and I were in my bedroom one day and it was just around the time I had been taught the concept of God. I asked her if God was really *everywhere*, and she said, "yes, he's even in this room!" I got really concerened and asked her where exactly in the room he was, and she told me he was sitting in my lap.

I was hysterical for hours after that.

I used to believe…

When my sister was little and we would have to say the Lord's prayer in church, she would say "Our Father who art in heaven, Al would be his name" instead of "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be his name".

I used to believe…

When I was about 3 or 4, I went to "big church" with my dad. Southern Baptist take communion differently than Catholics - the ushers pass a silver tray of round wafers down each row, followed by a tray of tiny thimble sized glasses of grape juice. Because I had not been baptised yet, my dad did not let me take a wafer or juice. I remember crying the entire way home from church, because he would not let me have juice and crackers like everyone else!

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I had a stuffed dog named Shaggy. When people told me that God would give me anything that I wanted if I prayed hard enough, I took it a bit too literally. I used to pray every night that Shaggy would come alive! I truly believed he would. I was very disappointed when every morning he was still stuffed.

I used to believe…

when i was little i used to believe that the devil would come from under my floor boards and take me to hell with him. so i slept in the middle of the bed so it would be harder for him to reach me.

I used to believe…

My uncle, the youngest of 5, grew up in a very Irish Catholic family. He was about 3 when he first really noticed Jesus on the cross. He studied it and then asked, "Who got to him?"

I used to believe…

When I was little, I was ill a lot of the time. One Sunday I ended up staying home from church with my Father while the rest of my family went to church and Sunday school. When they all got back, I asked my sister what they all talked about in Sunday school since the classes all mirrored each other as far as themes and particular section of the Bible discussed. My sister told me that she learned that "Adam Muneve" was the first man. Astounded I asked my mother " Is it true that 'Adam Muneve' was the first man?" She stared at me strangely and slowly said "Well...Yes." It wasn't until I got older and could read my own Bible myself by 2nd grade that Adam did NOT have a last name like we all did!

I used to believe…

when I was really little I had a dream about willie wonka (gene wilder) being up in the clouds. He was making lots of puppets and sent them down to earth, they became people. I had for years after that thought that willie wonka was God. When I told my parents that they just laughed at me, that shatterred my little kid world.

I used to believe…

There was a hymn we sang at school which had the line "i am the lord of the dance, said he".
I used to dance around my house and jump on the sofa (the settee), and thought the words of the song were "I am the lord of the dance settee", and had a mental image of jesus jumping up and down on the sofa with me!