religion

I used to believe…

During church, whenever we would recite the Lord's Prayer, I would say "Our Father, Who Art in Heaven, Howard be Thy Name." Out of habit, I didn't even realize what I was saying until I was fifteen.

I used to be so confused about whether Adam and Eve came before or after dinosaurs!

I used to believe…

when i was little, I used to think that after church, that people would take the offering plates full of money outside and hold it up and all the money would fly to heaven and God.

I used to believe that the man who presented the weather forecast on TV was God, because he was deciding what the weather would be.

I used to believe…

In grade school we learned about the tax collectors in Jesus' day. I used to think that the people working at the toll booths on the highway were our tax collectors.

I used to believe…

When I was little and was told in church that god could see all and heard our thoughts and prayers, I thought god had a big wall and everyone on earth had their own personal screen he could watch.

I used to believe that there's an invisible man in the sky that would grant me any wish if I just knelt down and talked to him.

I was raised by my uncle who I used to believe was God. I thought when he went to work he sorted through lists of good and bad people, and then faxed these lists to Santa.

I used to believe…

When I went to Church when I was little, I used to believe that the vicar was Jesus and I was really scared of him. My Sunday school teacher tried to convince me he wasn't Jesus, and I went, "He'll know you said that."

I used to believe that when it rained, it ,meant that god was sad and he was crying and when it was sunny it meant that god was happy!

I was convinced I knew why there were no dinosaurs.
- On Noah's Ark - when they were desperate for food and thought to eat the largest animals first, they ate them all. Then they were too ashamed to include that part of the story.

I used to believe that if you ever lied you would automatically go to hell. I lied once about something when i was really little and started freaking out waiting for the earth to open up and hell to swallow me.

I used to believe…

When I was little I attended sunday school regularly, so I knew God sat in heaven and Jesus sat at his right hand. Wile trying to figure out how Santa, just as great as the above mentioned fit into the mix, I decided he must have sat at Gods left hand.

I used to believe that weathermen would get in a rocket with a scroll in hand, and fly up to Heaven to ask God what the weather would be like for the week. Then they would write it down and come back to Earth to report it.

I used to believe…

We had to say the Lord's Prayer at school. Even up to age 12 or so, I never really understood why God was so obsessed with trespassing, ie illegal entry of property.

I used to believe…

when i was little i thought that god was watching us like we were a tv show and recording everybodys lifes