At sunday school we were shown an illustrated children's book about "the Prodigal son". He was wearing a "dress" so for a while I thought that "prodigal" meant transvestite and that was why he had to leave his family, but in the end they decided to accept him. Ridiculous!
when I was about six I remember asking an Adult what Mary did before she was a statue....
I used to think that 'hippie' was a religion
In our Church, children are baptized at the age of 8. When the time came for my brother, four years older than me, to be baptized, I was terrified for him, because I thought it involved being put into a ring with a wild bull.
when I was little, in the first grade, I thought the nuns weren't human, they were just 'beings' with arms, feet and a head, who wore weird 'hats' and long black dresses. I was tramatized one day when the skirt of one of the nuns was lifted by the wind, SHE HAD LEGS!
I used to believe that during Catholic Mass, when parishoners greet each other and whisper "Peace be with you", they were whispering "psst psst psst".
There was a certain drinking fountain at my church that I always drank out of from the time I was a toddler. There was a plaque mounted on the wall next to this drinking fountain that had the Bible verse that said "Whoever drinks this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst again."
I remember when I learned to read, I read that plaque and I thought that the reason I ever got thirsty was BECAUSE I had drank from that drinking fountain. I remember thinking that it was too bad I drank from it before I learned to read-- if I hadn't, I would never get thirsty ever again!
When my sister was very little, before she could see over the pew in church, she thought that it was actually God speaking during the mass...
When I was in 5th grade our teacher went around the room asking us our religious beliefs. Well, I was the only one in my class who wasn't catholic and when it came my turn I told her "I'm Prostitute" and when she looked at me in disbelief I continued by saying "It's true, ask my mom, she's one too!"
I used to believe the local Catholic church was Disney Land.