charactersShow most recent or highest rated first.
I used to think that God was a Cloud that wore pink gloves and purple converses and went around the whole world just smiling.
My mom always told me "God watches you everywhere you go." I'd always answer "No, not in the bathroom because there are no windows in there." So, for years I had thought God was looking in my window every night, watching my every move with a creepy smile on his face. Sort of like a stalker.
When I was younger, I assumed that I was two days older than Jesus because my birthday was December 23rd and his was the 25th.
For some reason, I also thought that the "Holy Ghost" was Jesus' purple dog.
My mother once told me that Jesus' last name was Christ. In other words, Mr. and MRs. Joseph Christ and their son Jesus Christ
I thought Jesus was made up to make kids behave.
I used to believe that God and Mary were married and they got divorced and Mary married Joseph and then Mary and Joseph had Jesus
I used to believe that the Jesus on the Crucifixes was the real Jesus that had shrunk somehow. I would always try to feed it little bits of food because he looked really hungry and nobody ever fed him.
Jesus, Santa, The pledge of allegiance, Patriotism and Mr. Clean: Talk about confused. I mixed all these things together into one BIG idea.
I believed Santa was like a real good friend or possibly an employee of Jesus' who passed out Jesus' birthday presents to the world because Jesus was that generous and loving but he had things of much greater importance to take care of than doing the actual delivering so Santa handled that part.
The Pledge from the mind of a 6 year old:
"I pledge (what mom uses to dust the good furniture) allegiance (what's that?) to the flag (am I supposed to dust the flag), of the United States of America, unto [and to] the republic (who's the republic?) for witches stand [for which it stands], one nation (pause) under God (pause) indivisible (huh?) with liberty (pause) and justice (pause) for all. (Amen)
America The Beautiful (Patriotism)
I knew God was called OUR FATHER and that God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost are the same or are one. So when I heard "America the Beautiful," and it says "Land where my Father died," then talks about the landscape a great deal, I believed that God was Born in America and died (Jesus) there and the reason the song has so many references to the landscape was because God Made Heaven and America (the Earth) and this was really a gosple song praising the beautiful creation God has made.
My best friend thought that the Mr. Clean character was God (do a google search if you don't know what he looks like), I didn't think he was God, but thought he was probably related to Him.
Well first off to explain, I go to a pentecostal church and anyone who has ever been to one knows how we worship and what we believe. Well my nephew who was 4 at the time was talking to his mother about why his daddy doesnt go to church at night... he explained in his spooky voice that daddy is scared that the holy ghost might get him!!! It was priceless!
My mom would send me out to play in our front yard, but I would only stay on one side because I thought the Devil lived inside a drain on the other side and if I went near it, he'd snatch me up and pull me down inside.
I used to believe Jesus cleaned my room.
As a child, I went to a Christian school and they always told us that one day we were going to meet god. Subsequently, I thought "god" was an actual person. As in, someone we were going to meet for lunch one day. I was downtrodden to find this wasn't the case.
when i was a little girl i thought God looked like my grandma and dressed like the statue of liberty.
I used to believe (and sometimes still do !) that God was the rays that would peek out behind the clouds -- I think I got this idea from seeing some childrens' Bibles, and where the illustrations inside would show those "rays" beaming down on someone (like Mary, John the Baptist, etc.)
I believed that baby Jesus didn't have any bodily functions. I think it was an extrapolation from 'Away in a Manger' when it says 'no crying he makes' ... somehow he didn't do anything else either.
When I was 5-ish, whenever my parents mentioned "God" for some reason, in my mind, I always pictured God as the Statue of Liberty.
When I was little, I thought that the story said that Jesus went around bragging that he was the son of god. you know, shoving it in peoples faces. Im really ashamed of it now, but back then i thought he got what he deserved. SORRY
I used to think Joseph of Joseph and his amazing techni-coloured dreamcoat was Jesus' dad.
I went to a small Christian school and someone told me Jesus was the sun and the light. I would be outside playing or just sitting around eating lunch and every now and then would look up at the sun and think "Wow, that's Jesus. He is bright and is changing colors right now." I didn't realize until years later than they meant the Son of God.
When i was younger, my father told me that i cant see God, but he lived in my heart. So for almost 10 years afterwords, whenever someone said the word "God", i would picture this angry robot with a pitchfork in my "heart" which looked vaguely like a red cave. to this day, i dont know where i got any of that from. i was kinda weird.