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i was always hearing mary referred to as the "mother of God." so when they called jesus the "son of God," i thought, "no, He and God are brothers! he's the SON of joseph!"
i used to beleive that mary mother of god, each year on christmas give a birth to a new jesus and sometimes i wondered maybe this year she would give birth to a girl.
My Dad's Christian teachings led me to believe that demons were everywhere.
If I sinned in the slightest way (even thinking about doing something naughty counted) the demons would possess me and I would go to hell.
However, I though I could "get out of it" if I could see a light.
This made it difficult at night, as I would lay awake for hours staring at a distant street light.
I convinced my sister that this was true.
My extremely religious grandmother used to say when one of us did something bad, "The Devil's on your shoulder!" I would try to turn my head to see him too but I was never fast enough. I went around believing there was a mini-Satan on one of my shoulders counterbalanced by a mini-Jesus on the other, waging a personal struggle for my soul. I was afraid the devil might be winning since he was the one Grandma saw. Scary. The only consolation was that he seemed to spend even more time on my cousin Robbie's shoulder.
When I was a little girl, I believed that Jesus' ENTIRE lifespan was from Christmas Day (when he was born) until Good Friday (when he died)...all in the same year. He had one busy year!
When I was little I was constantly afraid of being possessed by the devil, so every day on my way home from school I went into our neighborhood church for a few seconds to reassure myself that the devil is not inside me; because I figured that if I really was possessed then entering the church would make me burn.
In Sunday school before I made my first communion, the nuns told us about God, the Supreme Being, in contrast us human beings. But I heard it as "bean" and for some time pictured God as a giant lima bean in the sky with all us human beans clustered under him in worship.
When I was little, my mother used to watch Unsolved Mysteries all the time, with the host, Robert Stack. For some reason I got it in my head that God was his twin. Probably because he was so old and venerable and had a scary voice. (The theme music also terrified me.) Now, even to this day, if I have to picture what God looks like, he often looks like Robert Stack.
My mum kept asking me "who made you?" possibly meaning for me to say God! I eventually answered "the baker" I imagined the crazy Swedish chef from the muppet show ( known to me as the baker) actually made me in his kitchen with a wooden spoon and a bowl. He was my favourite muppet!
When I was small I believed that Adam was the one who took the fruit from the The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and gave it to Eve ^^'
My older brother used to tell me that if I opened my eyes during prayer at chuch the Holy Spirit would come and get me. You better beleive that for the very influential years of my life that I closed by eyes so tight at chruch that it hurt...anything would be better than the Holy Spirit coming to get you.
My grandfather was a pastor and when I was 2 I thought he was God because he was always up at the front and had a booming voice.
When I was little my family was Catholic. We went to church on Sundays and celebrated the usual holidays. I was too young to understand any of it, so I came up with some weird impressions of what was Catholic and wasn't.
My grandmother was probably the most religious person in the family. I stayed with her a lot during summers when my parents were working. She had pictures and statues of The Virgin Mary in various places around her house. She had a massive vanity full of make-up and bottles of perfume. Every morning, she put Oil of Olay lotion on her face. Because of the way the illustration of the woman's face on the bottle resembled a woman wearing a veil, I believed that Oil of Olay lotion was a lotion The Virgin Mary manufactured in heaven. I thought my grandmother had to be an extremely special person because she used it. When she told me not to touch her lotion, I thought it was because I hadn't had my First Communion yet. I also thought something was wrong with my mother because she used Jergens lotion. I thought it was because my family wasn't as religious as my grandmother. I used to sneak dabs of the Oil of Olay, spread it on my face, and close my eyes...waiting for some kind of holy message.
My grandmother when I was four that if I whistled it would make the Virgin Mary cry.
I used to think that Cain and Able were brother and sister (with Able being the girl).
When my aunt was little, a priest asked her in her christening how many gods there are. Her answer was five: the father, the son, the holy ghost, baby Jesus and the virgin Mary.
I thought the Holy Ghost was the ghost of the Virgin Mary.
When my mom was little, she used to believe that God lived in down the bathtub drain. He had jet black hair and wore skin tight black pants and a tight yellow t-shirt. He was also like a genie and had a tail at the end. Go figure
I used to believe that when you could actually see the sun beams in the sky, that Jesus was coming to take us all. I always saw the sunbeams in the pictures with Jesus in them and I was terrified of sunsets where they showed up because I was sure I was going to die.
Mum used to believe there were men, women and nuns and nuns used to have wheels under their habits!