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when i was young i would picture God as a young man with a purple jumper with a white capital letter G on the front that stood for God, and he had a dark brown bowel cut. i dont know where that image came from though.
I remember a sermon in which the minister said: "When I was a little boy, sometimes I would wake up and find the world so quiet and still, I thought that maybe the Second Coming of Christ had been and gone, and left me behind. So I would sneak into my parents' room, and see if they were still there. If they were, I knew it was all right. I never looked into my sisters' room, because I thought it would be touch and go with them."
As I said to him after church, "You must have had a terrible conscience."
I was brought up Catholic and attended Catechism when I was very young. Anyway, when I was about six or seven years old our teacher told us that we always had to be good because God was EVERYWHERE watching us. She said it in that ominous tone of voice that grown-ups use when they're trying to drive a point home.
This terrified me. I had visions of God watching me go to the bathroom, getting dressed, taking a shower, etc. I decided I was going to have to start hiding from him so I started changing my clothes in my closet. One day my mom caught me and asked me what I was doing and when I explained to her what I was told she told me, "God saw you naked when you were first born, He doesn't care. Now come out of there and get dressed." After that, I didn't have a problem. Of course, now I'm a grown up and I have since stopped believing in the Catholic Church and I'm on the fence about God.
I used to ask my mother how God could hear everybody's prayers, since we were all praying at the same time. She said, "Oh, God is everywhere." That was when I started thinking of God as being grossly obese.
I wasnt under influence of my parents but when i was 10 I thought that if i dont belive in God i will burn in hell and i was scared of him to death. Maybe thats why Iam atheist today :)))
Until I was 8, I thought Jesus was a woman. They told me he was nice and kind to people. I didn't know any men like that.
I thought that God looked like the Statue of Liberty.
Sometimes God looked like Rafi, the children's singer, and sometimes like Ella Fitzgerald.
Before geography really sank in at about nine, I used to think that Jerusalem was in South America somewhere, most often Chile as that was the one South American country I knew. I thought that Jerusalem had to be this big expansive place and everything in Europe was taken. My parents were rather confused at my versions of Christmas and Easter.
I used to believe that Catholics were not allowed to eat pistachio ice cream. Where did I get this silly idea? I was brought up in a strict Catholic household -- with lots of aughts and naughts. In my young mind, anything my mother DIDN"T like, was "anti-Catholic" or not allowed.
Wehan I was little I used to confuse Jesus with God with Santa Claus.
I used to not know who Jesus Christ (i Dint even know he was a person) and thought his name was pronounced "Cheeses Christ". I believed that Cheeses Christ was a cheese and also something you sa ywhen you get mad. I could never figure out why someone would talk about Cheese when they are mad.
When I was little I always got nuns and brides confused. I couldn't remember which wore black and which wore white. When I would see a group of nuns, I would wonder if it was a group of brides together going someplace to get married.
I grew up Jewish. Until I was about 10, I believed that everyone who wasn't Jewish was Catholic.
When I was little i used to think that angels lived in clouds. So when the weatherman said Sunny with no clouds, i got worried that nobody would be there to protect me.
I used to belive God would give me superpowers if I was good and polite : ).
He never gave me superpowers...
Since then, I don't believe anymore : |
I used to believe that Jesus was crucified every year and that it was something you could go see - like a festival.
In angels. Once, in the middle of the night, when I was about 6, I couldn't sleep. I went to the steps and sat down. In my bleariness, I was sure that I saw 2 ethereal angels floating just below the ceiling. It was reassuring.
I was raised Catholic and when I was little my mom told me that I had to be good because Jesus was everywhere watching me... so I always pictured multiple Jesus's in every space of every room... little Jesus's sitting on tables and chairs and counters, big Jesus's standing on every inch of the floor, and huge Jesus's everywhere outside... I just figured they were invisible and like ghosts and thats why we couldnt see them.
I used to believe gay was a religion. One time at the beach when I was 5, my older cousin called me gay. I was confused, never having heard the word before, and responded, "I'm not gay. I'm Christian."