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I knew that Christmas was a birthday party for Jesus, and who comes on Christmas? Santa Claus. So of course, Santa was Jesus after he got old.
I used to believe that Jesus was buried in the cemetery near my house and actually once went there to look for his gravestone.
I used to think that a Mormons were an alien race from a fifties sci-fi film.
I used to think that Jesus was killed by a guy called The Conscious Pilot. And I was like "but I didn't think they had ariplanes back then"
My daddy took me to church every Sunday. I heard the preacher talk about the Father. Being only about 4 or 5 at the time, I just naturally assumed that he was talking about my father which meant that my father was obviously God. Then I had an accident and broke my leg. My grandfather (my daddy's daddy) got really upset that I had not been taken to the doctor and he YELLED at my daddy. Then the most shocking thing happened. My daddy said "Yes, sir" to my grandfather. Well! I had apparently been wrong. My grandfather must be God...and that meant that my daddy was Jesus. So I asked him why he had changed his name to Raymond. When he figured out what I believed he had to set me straight.
When i was a kid i used to think that the Holy Trinity was made up of 4 people. Father, Son, Holy and Ghost.
It sounds better in my native tongue (Portuguese)
I really wasn't brought up very religious. I knew who God was but for some reason was confused on who Jesus was. I thought Jesus sounded like a girl's name.. so I thought Jesus was God's wife. I was a strange kid...
When i was about 4 to about 7 i thought god looked like the Count form Sesame Street, just not as a pupet, but as a purple person.
When I was young, I asked my parents where Hell was. They told me it was under the ground. I pictured the Devil living about four inches under the surface of the earth. This, naturally, made me terrified of digging a hole. Not a good belief for a child who lived on a farm and was expected to help with the planting! (Oh, I was also terrified of sticks that were partially buried. I thought they were the Devil's horns and refused to approach them.)
As a little Jewish girl, I couldn't understand my Christian friends concept of Easter. They would say "The Son rises", and I would think, "So what, it rises every day!"
The custodian at my elementary school had a family name, as is traditional in many Latino families. He never told me his name, but I could read his nametag, and for years I was terrified of him because I thought JESUS had come back to earth as was promised at church - but as a big, gruff custodian with a tattoo.
I used to believe that when you could actually see the sun beams in the sky, that Jesus was coming to take us all. I always saw the sunbeams in the pictures with Jesus in them and I was terrified of sunsets where they showed up because I was sure I was going to die.
I used to think that the small sheep on a picture my mam had of jesus birth in the stable was "Worthy" the lamb. This was due to the part of the catholic mass that goes "Worthy the lamb of God, who takes aways the sins of the world. Blessed are we who are called to his supper."
Whenever I saw the movie Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat, it showed the pharoe dressed like Elvis at one point and singing like him. (This was a joke because they called Elvis the King and whatever). I really thought that in real life Elvis was the pharoe and that this didn't take place in the biblical times, but when my parents were kids.
As a child, I went to a Christian school and they always told us that one day we were going to meet god. Subsequently, I thought "god" was an actual person. As in, someone we were going to meet for lunch one day. I was downtrodden to find this wasn't the case.
I was raised in an Athiest environment, so naturally, I didn't know hardly anything about the Christian religion until neighbours and classmates told me about it. When I was around 4 years old one of my older neighbours explained to me the story of Jesus Christ, saying that he was my saviour and he died on the cross for my sins. Having explained what sins were but not understanding what a cross was, I understood that somebody died on some railroad crossing trying to save me for some bad things I had done. My parents ended up laughing at how upset I got.
When I was little, I was positive God looked like Mister Rogers. So whenever I prayed, I had to picture Mister Rogers in my mind or else my prayer would never get to God.
my sister told me that angels were always watching me, which is supposed to be comforting, but i was terrified. i had to sleep in my parents' room because i thought they were all staring at me through my bedroom windows.
I used to believe that Jesus was crucified every year and that it was something you could go see - like a festival.
I found out pretty early that there was no such thing as santa or the tooth fairy so I thought that God was just another made up story to make me behave.
This didn't go over too well since my grandpa's a preacher.