the best of characters
When I lost my balloon and it flew into a sky. I thought it was because God was bored and wanted to play with my balloon.
religion: characters
1,029 beliefs
When I was little, for some reason I thought that the Beatles were the apostles. Maybe because two of them were named John and Paul. I don't know where I got that from.
When I was a kid, my brother and I bickered all the time. Anyway, when I was about 5 or 6, I was listening to a preacher on the radio who was talking about how Jesus had died for our sins. I asked my brother how Jesus died and he told me that Jesus had died in a car wreck. I believed that for a couple of years.
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In my house we always had a large family Bible. When I was little I always belived that the Book Luke was named after Luke Skywalker in Star Wars.
After I heard that Santa did not exist, I believed that once I got older, my parents would tell me God did not exist either. I thought I should stop believing in God then, just to be ahead of the game.
when i was about 4 or 5 i used to beleive that jesus was a horse....well we were always told that he was born in a manger, so it seemed logical, i just couldnt figure out why we were all worshiping a horse.....
when i was about 10, my mom broke the news that santa, the easter bunny, and the toothfary were not real... so i aksed her, "mom was it you the whole time?" and she said "yes baby, it was" so i looked at her, started crying and said "MOM?! ARE YOU GOD TOO?!"
Around Easter, my younger sister asked about the hot-crossed buns we saw in the grocery store. My mother explained that they were meant to represent the fact that Jesus had died on the cross. On Easter morning, my mother took some hot-crossed buns out of the oven and, just as we were preparing to enjoy them, my sister came tearing into the kitchen screaming:
"Don't eat those buns! Jesus died on those buns!"
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My youngest nephew (aged 4), when telling the story of Easter, told us that on the crosses were Jesus and two Ninjas.
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I used to think that Dammit was God's last name.
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I used to get confused when I was little, because Jesus was born at christmas and dies at easter, so did he grow up in just three months????
My daughter used to believe that God's first name was Howard because of the Lord's Prayer "...hallowed (Howard) be thy name." I almost didn't have the heart to correct her.
I was raised Catholic, and had the idea of "inviting Jesus into your heart" doa little confused. Apparently, he knocked all the time, and when you answered, he could come inside & be inside your heart. The symbolism of this was somewhat lost on me though - I routinely used to kick Jesus out of my heart before I did bad things. I would tell him to leave, and once the evil deed was done, I would say, "Okay Jesus, you can come back in now." This went on for years.
I used to believe that the reason we celebrated Jesus's birthday was because he was born on Christmas day. I didn't get the fact that Jesus's birth made it Christmas, I just thought the reason people prayed to him and celebrated him and sang to him and all the rest of it was because he happened to have been born at Christmas. This used to puzzle me because I knew another boy who's birthday was on Christmas day, and I wondered why people didn't also praise HIM, pray to HIM make him an idol etc like they did with Jesus, even though he also had been born on the special day of Christmas.
When I was little I used to believe that people had to ask god's permission before they could use fireworks because they would be disturbing the people in heaven.
When I was a kid we had to recite the creed, which said something about Jesus being "crucified under pontius pilate"
I misheard, and for years, I thought Jesus was attacked by pirates.
Being a sheltered little kid, I had no idea what a virgin was, until I figured it out looking at a book of Christmas carols. The illustration for 'Silent Night' had Mary sitting on the ground, leaning against a boulder holding her baby. I took 'round yon virgin mother and child' as 'round yon virgin, mother and child.' I thought virgin was another word for boulder.
When my cousin was 5 or 6, he made a wonderful discovery. After learning two things:
1. A long time ago, God created men to look like himself
2. A long time ago, men were monkeys
he put 2 and 2 together, and decided that God must be a monkey.
When I was younger, my dad always told me God was eternal. Not knowing what "eternal" meant, I thought he said, "God is a turtle." So now, even to this day, I imagine God as a turtle.
When I was a kid, I used to believe that since Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, one of his miracles was that he aged 33 years in 4 months.
For some reason - possibly because of being told that God was "up above" us - when I was small, my mental image of God was that he was a cloud. Not that he was ON a cloud, he was an actual cloud. A big one. With a face. The cloud was also, for some reason, pale green. It looked very friendly, though.
... I'm twenty-seven now and I still can't help kind of picturing him that way.