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When i was about 5 and a teacher aked me what Jesus did at Easter, I told them he put the crosses on the hot cross buns in the hot cross bun factory
I used to believe that God looked like Abraham Lincoln, only made out of clouds, and he would sit at a big cloud desk and do business type things...angels on different clouds would call him on his cloud phone and prayers were recorded on his cloud answering machine...
When I was only 3 I was sitting on an elderly womans lap when she past away, I remember standing outside as the paramedics carried her out of her house in what i swear to this day was a wheel barrel and into the ambulance, I thought for ever that an ambualance was your ride to heaven, because the next day a rainbow came and that was what they traveled on to get to heaven. The paramdic that night to me was god. So in catacism several years later the teacher asked us to all draw a picture of what we thought God looked like, and of course I was possitive I knew what he looked like b/c I saw him. I drew a man with a white shirt, blue pants, short black curly hair he was of course pushing a wheel barrel into an ambulance. And a rainbow in the background. My teacher was very confused to say the least.
I used to beleive that pockets of air trapped under the ice of puddles were little bits of god, which I had to release by breaking the ice.
I used to think that Dammit was God's last name.
As a child I believed I could correspond with God via letters. I wrote to him frequently releasing the paper into the wind. Eventually I realised he didnt write back and there were sheets of paper scattered throughout my yard.
You know in Pac man when those evil things chase you around?
I used to think that that's what Satan looked like.
My Uncle Randy is a pastor. When he talked about God creating us, I would always imagine Jesus sitting in front of an art easel painting a picture of some one before they were born.
From as far back as I can remember until sometime in junior high I believed that nuns were actually criminals and that being a nun was part of their punishment. I went to Catholic school in the 3rd grade. When someone did something wrong a nun would take them in this little room in the back of our classroom and you could always hear the kid screaming. The kid would stay in there even when we went to lunch, but when we came back the kid would be back and sitting quietly in their desk. I always thought that if I did something wrong that the nuns would open up there outfits like a jacket and they would have an assorment of guns lined up, like street vendors with watches, and they would kill me and I would go to heaven so God would have a talk with me about being a bad girl and put a curse on me to make me behave. Then he would send my soul back.
I used to think that god looked like King Rollo (off UK kids TV) in fact whenever the subject of God comes up I still picture a cartoon king with black hair and beard, red gowns and a big gold crown
I used to believe that the Holy Ghost was a little green version of Cousin It that lived in the boiler room at the church building. He didn't even speak English, he spoke it-ese or something.
I once asked my dad what Jesus' surname was, and he said it was 'Sinclair'.
I believed it for years!
I used to believe that everything big was something God owned. So if I saw a huge pair of sunglasses (those ridiculous plastic neon ones) or an enormous footprint-shaped stain on my mattress base, I would say "Look mummy! That's God's footprint" It's still a bit of an amusing game to play I guess.
When i was little i was told God had lots of power so i always pictured him sitting in a big throne in and electric sub-station
When I was young I remember the vicar telling us "Jesus died so that everyone else may live", but he didn't explain how exactly this worked. So I imagined the devil holding a gun to Jesus' head saying "Right Jesus, either I shoot you or I shoot everyone else on this planet."
This also meant that I didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal about his "sacrifice", since it was the obvious choice.
I used to believe that God and Mary were married and they got divorced and Mary married Joseph and then Mary and Joseph had Jesus
When I was little I asked our pastor if God was everywhere. He said Yes. Then I asked if that meant that God was in my stomach. He said well, yes, that too. I went around for a while very worried about digesting God and hoping he liked whatever food I had for dinner.
At Sunday School, we were taught about 'the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost'. The first two I could always cope with meeting, but I lived in dreadful terror of bumping into the Holy Ghost!
Small wonder, then, that I turned out to be atheist...
I always thought that Jesus must really be special because he grew to be a man in only 5 months (Christmas to Easter)
I used to believe that Satan travelled in a hot air balloon because I was told that he could see everything, so I presumed he was high up. Still don't know why he used a hot air balloon and not an airplane!!!