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I attended a convent from ages 6-10. One day, when i was 7 one of the nuns was showing us a video about jesus. We got to the part where baby jesus was laid out on a table, surrounded by bearded men, on wielding a knife. As it dramatically flashed across the screen, accompanied by a piercing cry and followed by the baby jesus sobbing his guts out. I, distressed, asked the nun what they were doing to the poor little baby. She told me they were carving a "J" in his leg for jesus.
Outraged at this shoddy treatment, i told everyone i met about this travesty for years, until someone filled me in on the practice of circumcision.
When I was little, I used to think God looked like a Bearenstein bear -- like papa bear, and that Jesus looked like brother bear. I don't know where I got this impression, somehow a crossover of two different literatures I was exposed to as a child. But for a long time when I heard "God," I'd think of a two-dimensional brown bear with a hat and overalls.
My church's pastor, who is also my sister's godfather, had a brown beard. He was also one of the kindest people I knew and still is. When I was little, I honestly thought he was Jesus.
When I first heard about guardian angels, I misunderstood the concept and didn't realize that they were supposed to protect us, but rather I believed they would report to God about all the bad things we had done that day. I thought that the angels followed us around every day with pads of paper, noting our sins, and at night when we slept the angels flew off to God and ratted us out.
I used to believe my mom's friend's boyfriend was Jesus. He looked like the traditional pictures of Jesus we see in The Bible. I used to scream and hide whenever I saw him; I think because I was too little to comprehend that we knew Jesus!
In first grade of my Catholic school located in Illinios, it took me three weeks to clarify the following confusion: how could Abraham be the Old Testament leader of the Jewish people and the 16th President of the United States ?
When I was younger, I assumed that I was two days older than Jesus because my birthday was December 23rd and his was the 25th.
For some reason, I also thought that the "Holy Ghost" was Jesus' purple dog.
When I was little, my mom and my Sunday School teachers always told me that Jesus was in my heart and in everyone else's. One day I asked my mom how they separated Him into such tiny pieces in order to get a part of Him inside every single person in the world. She looked at me like I was insane before clearing up the confusion. :-P
I used to believe that if an ice cream truck drove too quickly or didn't play music, that it was being driven by the Devil and that if I tried to buy ice cream from him then he would kidnap me.
There was a kid in my neighborhood with a speech impediment that had me believing there was a guy named "Debbo" living in the sewers. He meant to say that the DEVIL lived below the Earth
When very little I completely believed the mascot for Lucky Charms was the Almighty God.
I used to think that nuns were God's girlfriends...
When I was four or five my mother tried to comfort me from bad dreams by telling me that jesus was always watching me. I became convinced that jesus was sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching me poop and finally had to be taken to the doctor when i refused to go to the bathroom for a week.
I was told that God made everyone so I used to think that the lines on our palms, wrists, where our elbows and knees fold, etc. were the stitches left behind after God sewed us together.
I believed i was jesus reborn, i dont know why but i truthfully believed that I was soooooooo special that i was the messiah and that god had send a girl this time because the boy had failed. My parents finally found out i was a fruitcake when in an argument with my dad I yelled "you can't sent me to my room cause you're not my real dad" and informed him that God was my dad.
when i was younger about 7ish me and my friends thought we had summoned the devil to posses my toy skeleton we were so scared we cut the toy into loads of pieces and buried them in different parts of the garden a few months later we saw one of the pieces on the ground (we didnt bury them very far under) and thought it was trying to put it self back together i believed this for years it was soooo scary
i used to get prophets and prostitutes mixed up because i thought they were the same thing! lol
People werent happy when i called the prophets prostitutes!!!
When I was little I used to think that God looked like the KFC colonel who lived in the heaven and never slept while he watches over us. I also used to think that he always smiles...
I never questioned that Jesus was from anywhere else but England! - when my Dad told me otherwise I couldn't believe that someone as imprtant as Jesus could be a foreigner
When I was young I was told that Jesus was 'the light of the world', so I thought that before Jesus was born there was no sun and it was always dark so everyone had to walk around with candles.