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When I was little I used to think that God looked like the KFC colonel who lived in the heaven and never slept while he watches over us. I also used to think that he always smiles...
When I was little, my dad told me B.C. meant "Before Christ" and A.D. meant "After Death." This led me to think that the original dates of Christmas and Easter happened within a year of each other. I thought the reason Jesus was so magical and powerful was that he grew to be an adult in under six months!
My parents were very religious and when I was young would travel all over Texas to religious conventions. One year at a convention there was a reenactment of Jesus' baptism and crucifixion. I was horrified that no one was helping Jesus, and even more horrified when I surmised that WE were the evil Romans who were killing Jesus. I cried but never said anything to anyone because there was so many people there I thought they would kill me too. Years later I realized it was just a play when I learned that Jerusalem was nowhere near San Antonio..
When I was a child, about 6 years old, I went to Sunday School each and every Sunday. It was Christmastime and that meant recreating the manger scene of Christ's birth. The teacher went around the classroom, recruiting volunteers for parts in the scene. "Who would like to be a shepard?" I immediately raised my hand. "OK, c'mon up...." I ran up with joy and took my place on the scene. I went up and laid down on the floor and curled up. The class, including the teacher, roared. I thought I was playing the part of a shepard ~ a German Shepard dog!
I used to believe that Jews, Christians and Muslims were just another group of Christians like Catholics, Baptists, etc. And I used to think that Muhammad Ali and Moses were the same person, and that's why he was so popular.
I used to believe that the Holy Trinity was Dad, God and Santa Claus!
When I was small I visited some family member's grave in the cemetery with my grandma. At the entrance of the cemetery there was a cross. I asked my grandma, to whom does that cross belong, because I thought it's someone's grave. She answered that it belongs to Jesus. I was so proud that Jesus was buried in my hometown.
I used to think that the paparazzi and the pope were the same thing. Whenever I heard that some actor/actress had the paparazzi hiding in their bushes, I used to think it was an old Catholic priest hiding and taking pictures! This confused me because he's so holy and I thought it wasn't very nice for such a holy man to be invading peoples privacy like that!
Heaven was up and Hell was down- that's what they told me. So I often would get down on the floor, put my face into the carpet, and yell at the floor in my bedroom, "I hate you!" because I thought I'd show off to God how much I hated the Devil. I'm sure my Mom was traumatized that her six year old was so hateful!
I used to believe that when they said the communion was the body of chirst that they literally had Jesus' body in the back and that they were serving it to people.
The Adam and Eve story confused me a bit. I was pretty sure that if we all came from the same two people then we were inbred.
I used to believe that God, Jesus and Santa were the same person. I was really happy when my parents told me that Santa didn't exist, because I thought I wouldn't have to go to church anymore.
When my mom got angry, she would say
"Jesus Wept" I always thought she was saying "Jesus Swept" (the floor). I never understood how someone as important as Jesus had to such menial work!
I remember watching my sister tell my mother (very seriously!) after coming home from our Christian daycare, "Mommy, I am not your child. I am God's child." She was apparently very angry that our parents had never told her she had been adopted from God...
When I was little and was sent to my room, I used to imagine that God used to tell me off in my room, the funny thing was that he looked like inspector gadget without legs (he floated near my window).
when i was younger i used to think that if you dialed 666-6666 the devil would pick up and that would mean you wanted to die. my friend and i dialed it once on a dare.. We got so frightened when we heard the operator that we screamed and hung up. I cryed for an hour straight. " i kept yelling he is coming to get me mom" my mom thought i was crazy. later on in life i found out it was the taxi number lol oops
When I was about 4 my family went on a vecation to spain. At the hotel resort we staied at there was a bartender named Jesus.
I always mixed God and Jesus up, so when I got back home I told all my frinds that God lives in spain and works in a bar.
I believed that god was something that surrounded the earth, like a shell, and when we sent up the space shuttle or a rocket or anything like that, it made a hole in god, and I always wondered if it hurt god when we did that
when i was a little girl i thought God looked like my grandma and dressed like the statue of liberty.
I always heard people say that "God is inside you all the time". So when my tummy growled and made a that springy noise, I used to think it was God on a pogo-stick.