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The priests in my catholic church rotated duties weekly, I thought they must be interchangeable robots, programmed with a sermon, and hung up on a wall when done. So the only constant person I saw on sundays was the musical director, -who it was clear to me, must be the head of the roman catholic church (the pope being an Orwellian figurehead) and the musical director was also caretaker of the robots.
I used to believe that if you dropped the Bible all of the words would fall out and if you didn't put them back correctly before you died, you would go to hell.
I used to think that my parents loved me more than their other children beacuase they named after God. Every week in church we said "Thanks, Peter Go". Imagine my disappointment when I finally realized (age 6 or 7?) that it was "Thanks be to God." Bummer
that God lives in the roof of our church and makes electricity to light the chandeliers
i used to believe that if you had the panphlet at the start at mass whaen the mass was near the end then the priest would start again
I used to think that all Jewish people came from Michigan, because my dad is Jewish and he grew up in Michigan.
When I was 8 we learn't about the Immaculate Conception. When I got home I told my parents we had just been taught about the Immaculate Contraption!
I was brought up a Catholic and attended a Catholic school. When we had RE classes the topic was regularly raised "Is masturbating a Mortal Sin?" The answer from the teacher was always "Most assuredly YES!!" I was terribly confused as I, not having come accross the word before, had misheard the question as "Is MASS DEBATING a Mortal Sin?" For several years I thought that groups of people having a discussion together were condemned to an eternity of Hellfire when they died!
I used to believe that all Jewish males had to wear kippots (jewish skull cap) because when they are circumcised they have to keep their foreskin in their caps. And this is why they were never allowed to take their caps off.
I used to think that Jesus himself was buried in the altar at my Catholic Church. I guess i thought this because i never went to any other church, and i thought mine was the one.
When my mom went to church as a kid, she was always told never to turn around and look toward the back of the church, because that was disrespectful. Well, back then the rear of the church was also where the chorus and the organ were in a big balcony, so whenever my mom heard the chorus, she thought those were the angels singing.
When I was little...at catholic church they had us take communion, and they would say it was the body of Christ. Well my brother and I used to think we were so special because only our church had the body and blood of Christ in our tabernacle!!!
My dad once told me that when the bells rang in church it meant that Jesus noticed some child misbehaving and was getting angry at them. Whenever the bells rang and I was bored or being bad I was convinced that Jesus had noticed that I was not paying attention and was mad at me. So I would immediately sit up and attempt to be on my best behavior. When the bells rang and I knew that I was not misbehaving I always looked around and attempted to find the other child that Jesus was repremanding.
To this day bells still kinda put me on edge.
When I was little, my grandma sang at Sunday mass, so we always sat up front to watch her. At the front was a huge crucifix with a bloody Jesus hanging on it that I thought was really bleeding. I would bring band-aids to church every Sunday for Jesus and leave them on the pew when we left. It took me a long time to figure out why he never used them.
i used to think that the congregation in church wasn't actually reciting words, i thought that everyone was just mumbling. needless to say, one day i joined in my humming and mumbling gibberish noises.
I used to think when I was little that when you had your first communion they nailed you to a cross. When I learned in religion class I would be having mine soon, I cried and when the teacher asked me what was wrong I said "Just because they did it to Jesus doesn't mean they have to do it to me!"
when i was about seven i visited a monastery, and on sale in the shop they had a row of little dough ornaments (i think you put on a glaze to harden it after you've made it or something). that's actually all i remember of the monastery - so much for educational trips! anyway, i used to believe that all monks spent their lives chipping at loafs of bread and carving sculptures, probably in solitary cells and after having taken a vow of silence. i don't remember when i stopped believing that but when i was studying the catholic reformation it was what always came to mind when i wrote about 'penance' or 'good works'.
I thought that a mosque (a muslim church) was a place where mosquitoes live.
When I was small, I thought that the reason that girls had to wear skirts in church was so that God could check and see if we were wearing clean underwear. I thought he checked the boys in the bathroom, cause boys could go without underwear but girls couldn't. They were always talking in church about how he was watching us all the time!
i used to believe that everyone was just either Jewish or Cristian, I didn't know there was anything else. I would go around asking people whether they were Jewish or Christian.