religion: church

I used to feel bad for the nice ladies in the white hats and black gowns with the cross necklaces because I thought people were calling them 'nothing'. When I learned how to spell, I finally realized they were called "N-u-n-s", not "n-o-n-e-s"

when i was small i always for some reason, used to believe that all muslims wore turbans...

I believed that the offering from church was divided among the churches because the preacher said it was for the Kingdom of God.

And when the congregation would sing "Surely He Bore Our Sorrows" I thought they were talking about my Aunt Shirley.

I also believed that God had no face because of a mural in the baptistry that depicted Him with a blank, shining face.

My mom always told told that you couldn't sew anything on Sunday, it was a sin, and if you did when you got to heaven God would make you pick stiches out of your nose.

I used to believe that the offering I gave as a child weekly at church were directly sent to God. I thought that my Bible study teacher took the offering money to Jesus' grave and placed the money beside Him. I then thought you would see the money float into the sky

when the priest would hold up the eucharist and you could hear bells, i always thought that the eucharist made the sound itself. i didn't know that altar servers rang the bells.

i used to think that when people would tell me at church or something that "god is all around you" that there was little invisible men who i considered god literally ALL around me, syanding next to me all the time

When I was 3 my mom told me when everyone was receiving communion in a Catholic Church, I said, how come I did not get any cookies.

I thought my mum was a nun.

After Sunday School, we would attend "regular" church. The preacher would pass the collection plate for "God's Work." I always believed that our preacher went up to heaven every Sunday afternoon to give the money to God.

When I was very young, I used to wonder if it was a sin--maybe they were "taking God's name in vain"--when I saw the commercials on TV for Godchaux Sugar.

I am one of those people who think they are always right. Well i have been a Christian, gone to church all my life, and went to a Christian School until recently. Well a year or two ago my mother and i were talking about an organ donation that a man had went through. (He had to give up one of his lungs.) Well i said, "Did he live?" My mom-of course-answered yes, and asked why he would have died. Well i had believed my whole life that when God made man, he took a lung out of him rather than a rib. My mom had to get her Bible out and prove to me that i was wrong.

In church when I was little the priest always used to say "hym and hym and hym" I always thought he was talking about some guys so I would stand up and look around for 3 guys at the alter I only saw one guy (the priest) after my mom told me to sit down I would always say "Mom we really need to see the eye doctor..."

When I was young,I attended a church program called Awanas. I always thought that marijuana was somehow related to my church group, because they sounded similar and I didn't know what marijuana was.

When I was little, I went to a church with a loft for the choir. I didn't know that stairs led up to the loft. I was convinced they led to a rollercoaster that took you to Heaven to see God.

I used to believe that people were chosen by the pastor to be baptized and not of their own choice. I went to church ever Sunday scared to death that I would be "chosen" to be dunked in the water.