church

I used to believe that when people get bapitized, their soul get snatched up by god into heaven. And what's left on earth are just puppets controlled by angels to keep me company until I get baptized. So when all my family except me were converted, I started wondering if I should join them in heaven or wait a few years. (after all, the puppets were perfectly good companies) My baptism was as disappointing as my first orgasm.

ha

We were told in catholic grade school that during mass if our backside touched the pew it would be stuck there forever.

Mark Levandowski

Until four days ago I thought that priests just lived in the church, and had no houses. I'm 15.
My mom will never let me live that down, I just know...

Anon

When I was younger my mother told me that Jesus would apper at mass, or so I believed. I was so dissapointed to find out that Jesus didn't show up. Mother told me he couldn't make it.

m0u5y

I grew up as a Protestant, but one day i was asked what my denomination was and i said "I'm a prostitute". I think i was about six years old. I still chuckle when I think of this.

Chris

My mom used to always take my baby sister to the church nursery and I would usually tag along. I was 5 at the time and I would sit and stare at the attic door in the church nursery. One day my mom asked me what I was always looking at and I told her, "That's where God lives."

Jenny

My sister once asked me why is a nun calle "the bride of Jesus" and since there are lots of nuns, not only one, does it mean that Jesus keeps a harem.

Annie

When walking to church on Sunday mormings, I used to believe that the crosswalk sign was placed there exclusively for us "Presbyterians"; not for just any pedestrians.

Eileen Somers

When I was about 5 a friend asked me if I was a Catholic or a Protestant. I thought a Catholic was someone who went to church and a Protestant was someone who didn't, so I said My Mom's a Catholic, but my Dad and I are Protestants. Actually, as I later found out, my Mom is a Protestant, but my dad is an Atheist who was raised Catholic!

Al Bradford

In the North of England my home was close to a Catholic Convent. Only the Mother Superior went outside the Wall. Was told that when little girls misbehaved that they were taken into the convent by the mother Superior in her long robe. She would catch and put them under it.
When nuns still wore the long black gowns I would cross the streets away from them if I saw one. (I was a good girl). Stayed with me for a long time.

Jeanne P

When me and my brother were little we used to want to go to midnight mass on christmas eve whereas my mum could never be bothered so to try to stop us she told us that "if we went to midnight mass then santa wont come here" that made up my mind quickly enough..santa was better than church any day

Anon

As the lights dimmed before my brother's baptistism service, my little sister stood up on the pew and shouted, "When does the movie start!"

mistaken1

My cousin Chris wanted to be a priest because he thought that all the money gathered in the collection plate was his to keep.

Benathonius

i used to believe that if u looked out of an aeroplane u could see god and he would wave at you

georgina

When I was about 9 years old, I went to my little cousins baptism at a Catholic Church. It was the first time I had attended Catholic Church, and when I talked about the sermon later, I said "that pope was really boring", and my mom had to assure me that that wasn't a pope, it was a priest.

Brook

I used to believe that when the priest was blessing someone who had died and they said "God Bless so and so. In baptism so and so died with Christ..." Well I used to think that the babies drowned during their baptism, when in reality they were older people who had died...my cousin believed that too.

Anon

When I was 5 or 6, I recall being taught in church about the dangers of drinking and how no one should drink. Nobody ever mentioned "alcohol", though, so I thought everyone was a sinner for needing to drink water.

SUparJErk