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I used to get confused with the indians out of the cowboy & indian films and Jesus Christ in the religious films. I though Jesus and the indians were the baddies because Jesus must have been bad to have all the town against him and he was crucified. There was a cupboard that the priest was opening during service and in the moment of silence I asked my mother in a foghorn voice "Is that Jesus's Jail?"
My primary teacher & my mom used to tell me that the Church house was god's house. So I thought when we were not there God & Jesus were actually there living,ie, eating, walking around, cooking food, & sleeping. I used to wonder where thier beds were.
I had a belief about priests as well-- they had their own homes, which were like mini-churches. I believed for a long time that every Sunday after mass, the priest would take all the leftover communion home and eat it himself. Not only that, but he would also have to say "The Body of Christ... amen" before eating each wafer and "The Blood of Christ... amen" before taking each sip of wine! I thought that was in order to make it last all week and it was the only thing priests ever ate.
I used to believe a lot of things about church. One thing I used to think was that God literally LIVED in my church, but was invisible when anyone walked in for mass. When no one was in the church, he would eat communion at the altar, read the hymnals, take baths in the baptismal font, and basically live in the church like one would live in a house.
I also used this belief to think that the reason that so many bad things happened in the world because God would sleep on the pews, which are so uncomfortable that anyone who sleeps on them would be cranky in the morning!
I used to believe that when people get bapitized, their soul get snatched up by god into heaven. And what's left on earth are just puppets controlled by angels to keep me company until I get baptized. So when all my family except me were converted, I started wondering if I should join them in heaven or wait a few years. (after all, the puppets were perfectly good companies) My baptism was as disappointing as my first orgasm.
I thought they used to make the wafers for communion during the mass and that the oven was at the alter in the front of the church. When the priest would kneel down (which happens often right before the handing out of communion), I thought he was checking the oven to see if the wafers were done. I guess I grew up around too many cooks.
We were told in catholic grade school that during mass if our backside touched the pew it would be stuck there forever.
Until four days ago I thought that priests just lived in the church, and had no houses. I'm 15.
My mom will never let me live that down, I just know...
When I was younger my mother told me that Jesus would apper at mass, or so I believed. I was so dissapointed to find out that Jesus didn't show up. Mother told me he couldn't make it.
I grew up as a Protestant, but one day i was asked what my denomination was and i said "I'm a prostitute". I think i was about six years old. I still chuckle when I think of this.
My mom used to always take my baby sister to the church nursery and I would usually tag along. I was 5 at the time and I would sit and stare at the attic door in the church nursery. One day my mom asked me what I was always looking at and I told her, "That's where God lives."
My sister once asked me why is a nun calle "the bride of Jesus" and since there are lots of nuns, not only one, does it mean that Jesus keeps a harem.
When walking to church on Sunday mormings, I used to believe that the crosswalk sign was placed there exclusively for us "Presbyterians"; not for just any pedestrians.
When I was about 5 a friend asked me if I was a Catholic or a Protestant. I thought a Catholic was someone who went to church and a Protestant was someone who didn't, so I said My Mom's a Catholic, but my Dad and I are Protestants. Actually, as I later found out, my Mom is a Protestant, but my dad is an Atheist who was raised Catholic!
In the North of England my home was close to a Catholic Convent. Only the Mother Superior went outside the Wall. Was told that when little girls misbehaved that they were taken into the convent by the mother Superior in her long robe. She would catch and put them under it.
When nuns still wore the long black gowns I would cross the streets away from them if I saw one. (I was a good girl). Stayed with me for a long time.
When me and my brother were little we used to want to go to midnight mass on christmas eve whereas my mum could never be bothered so to try to stop us she told us that "if we went to midnight mass then santa wont come here" that made up my mind quickly enough..santa was better than church any day
As the lights dimmed before my brother's baptistism service, my little sister stood up on the pew and shouted, "When does the movie start!"
My cousin Chris wanted to be a priest because he thought that all the money gathered in the collection plate was his to keep.
i used to believe that if u looked out of an aeroplane u could see god and he would wave at you
When I was about 9 years old, I went to my little cousins baptism at a Catholic Church. It was the first time I had attended Catholic Church, and when I talked about the sermon later, I said "that pope was really boring", and my mom had to assure me that that wasn't a pope, it was a priest.