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I used to think God came to get the offering and took it up to heaven...
I used to believe that when they served communion at church, it was because the service was so long that they had to supply a snack for everyone. My parents finally explained the truth about communion to me after I boldly walked to the usher and grabbed a whole handful of the cracker/wafers. After all...I was hungry!
I used to believe that priests had a sense of humor. When mass ended on that fateful Sunday morning and the congregation filed into line to be blessed by the priest, I put my hypothesis to the test. As I approached Father Nick, I pulled out my plastic toy gun and repeatedly fired it at him, yelling "stick um up!" and "BANG! BANG!" over and over. My first inclination that my assertion was completely false occurred when Father Nick screamed at my mother to get "that devil out of my church!". In case I had any doubts that this was a mistake, my mom spanked them out of me outside of the church entrance as the congregation filed past us. In hindsight, the lesson learned was priests may not enjoy pranks but God sure does.
I used to believe that there was a killer robot living in the janitor's closet in the basement of the church. My friend and I would find "clues" that fueled the belief, such as footprints and spots on the floor that looked like an oil leak.
i used to believe nuns were married to jesus and priests were married to mary.
I remember hearing in church that we should follow in God's footsetps. Walking with my grandfather in the snow i asked him if i followed his footprints in the snow, was that the same thing.
In CCD class, the teacher read the story of Jesus and the lepers. I, however, thought she was saying leopards. I could not understand WHY Jesus would have to CURE LEOPARDS and I definately understand WHAT He did to them to CURE them!
When I was about 5, we were in church and the priest was talking about the "lamb of God" I recall laughing that God had a lamb...during the mass, I then realized I had a double-jointed thumb....I was terrified to tell anyone about my distorted thumb, thinking it was God punishing me, for laughing at the lamb.
when I was in first grade, I went to a Catholic school. One day,someone in the class made all of us believe that if you chewed the communion wafers before you got back to your pew, God would strike you with a lightning bolt.
A friend of mine recently told me of her first church experience:
When everything was over the pastor was walking around talking to the people and he came upon Anna, who was at the time very young. He found out that it was her first ever time to church.
Pastor: How did you like the service?
Anna: The music was nice, but the commercials were too long.
I used to believe that Darth Maul lived in my church.
WHen i was in third grade we were eating lunch at my public school and one girl went, "Catholics are trying to take over the world! i know because my dad told me!" I, being Catholic, told her that "it wasnt true and i would know because im Catholic"
sometimes a friend will say they're Christian and ill go, "Me too" and they're like, "i thought you were Catholic" and im like, "Catholics are Christians" and i have to explain to them all about Catholics and Protestents.
Its surprising to hear everyone's beliefs about Catholisism
When I was little at church we could say bible verses in front of everyone for a quarter. I always used to say the shortest verse, "Jesus Wept." It wasn't until I was about 13 or 14, I asked my mom what that meant. She gave me a funny look. The entire time I thought the verse was "Jesus Webbed" !
I used to think that the priest at church was JESUS.
He had a beard.... it made sense
As a child in the early '80s, I honestly thought that Episcopalians founded their faith around Joe Piscopo. I also thought he was their church leader.
This isn't really a belief so much as a misunderstanding, really. Anyway, a long time ago, my family was at church on Christmas Eve. We were all holding fake candles with lightbulbs shaped like a candle flame, and the pastor said something like, "Now spread your light throughout the world." My sister looked up at our parents and said, "He's kidding, right? What will we use next year?"
As a Catholic, I hated going to confession when I was little. I could never remember anything wrong I had done or any lies I had told, so I would make something up, promising myself I would confess that lie at the next confession. Always thought I would be struck down for lieing about lieing!
I never really went to church when I was little. Then, in elementary school I made friends with a girl who's parents were in charge of the music at an episcopal church and I started attending with them. I was probaly about 9 years old. Anyway, they always asked me if I would take communion, and I vehemently told them no. Why? Becaue I really thought they were eating the actual body and blood of Christ--a thought I found a little disgusting because, in my mind, it had to have gotten really old and moldy because I knew Jesus lived a long time ago. This concept was further complicated by the fact that I was sure they were going to run out any day because Jesus wasn't fat.
When I was in primary school, one of the local ministers or priests would visit weekly to give religious instruction. When I was about 11, a catholic priest came and talked to us about catholicism. Afterwards, he asked if there were any questions. I stood up and asked "How old do you have to be to become a catholic?" I wasn't embarrassed at the time but I still go red when I think about it now. You see my older sister had converted to catholicism when she was about 12, (and was thinking of becoming a nun) so I thought it must be nearly time for me to do the same.
i used to believe that being christan was a religon by its self like being methodiest. untill i said that one day in sunday school and everyone laughed at me.