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When I was small I didn't know the difference between the words 'protestant' and 'prostitute', and thought they meant the same thing- needless to say I caused my mother alot of embarrassment one day when walking past a church.
when i was younger, and went to church with my parents..i mistook the words "thanks be to god" for "thanks peter god" (the priest was called peter)
I used to think that the Kama Sutra was the hindu religous text.
I remember being told that priests had a direct line to God. In my head I imagined this to be some sort of microphone which was attached to them .
I often wanted to talk to God so after mass i'd go and stand behind the priest and try to talk to God. I didn't want the priest to hear so i'd go and stand close behind him and whisper very quietly in the hope that the 'God microphone' would pick up my transmission.
In my Catholic church, when the priest holds up the bread in wine, bells ring. So I always thought that was god calling us. Then when i became an altar server I found out the truth, that we ring the bells.
You know whats sad? I became an altar server in 6th grade.
All of my family is Baptist. As a child, any time my mother would decide to not do anything again, she would tell me that she was "giving it up for lent". It wasn't until I was 9 and met a Catholic that I realized that she wasn't referring to a trade with dryer fluff.
When I was little I remmember saying to my mother in church 'gods name is Peter' she was curious to know why I thought this and I explained I knew because the congregation always said 'Thanks Peter god'
When i was younger i would go to church with my grandpa, well they always too offerings and said it was for God. So i thought that after Church each Sunday the Pastor would stand there holding the bowl up and the money would fly up to Heaven
At my first confession when I was 7, I couldn't think of anything to confess. So I made up some sins and lied to the priest.
That may well have been the first actual sin I've ever committed.
I did not come from a religious family, so I had no religious studies. I was also Canadian, so I didn't know what the amendments were, but had heard them mentioned a lot.
I always thought the commandments and the amendments were the same thing. So when someone said, "I plead the fifth" I figured they were talking about not stealing.
I never said anything, so was never corrected, and believed this up until teenagehood.
When I was small, I used to believe that behind the altar at church where the priest used to stand was a sweet shop. I became very very jealous and when ever he bent down to kiss the bible, he'd be snaffling sweets from down below. Not surprising when you consider I thought communion was white chocolate buttons and I got really annoyed all my brothers got to have one but I had to wait till I was 8. Huh!
I used to believe that the catholic church I attended was very special to the pope. It was one of the only churches that were given permission to feed the congregation "the body of christ","the blood of christ" on Sundays. It's TRUE, and as you know the're very little Jesus to go around.
I grew up Catholic. At one mass, when the collection plate came around, I turned and asked my parents (very loudly) why everybody was throwing their money in the trash can. As I continued to demand an answer, I couldn't understand why they seemed so mad at me and kept telling me to be quiet-I just wanted to know.
I thought that "Thou shalt not commit adultery" means you do not watch any movies which is only for adults, read adult books, talk about sex or possess adult materials. It is true that god detests those kind of things.
I used to think that if you didn't go to church or you weren't religous you would go straight down below thats what I called ever since I saw Hercules. But anyway I always tried to be on my best behavior.
I used to think that at communion time at church, the priest performed magic and made the Eucharist appear out of nowhere. I believed this for a long time until I saw them in bowls in the back before church started.
When my sister and I were about 8 and 10 years old we overheard some adults talking about Martin Luther nailing his thesis to the door. My sister decided to show off at Sunday school and told the teacher about Martin Luther nailing his feces to the Castle Church door. The teacher about wet her pants laughing as did a few of the older kids. We were bewildered until only a short time later when the real meaning of the word was explained.
there was a man at my church when i was little, and my older sister and i called him "the angry man" because his eyebrows were in a weird position so he always looked angry. we felt bad that he was angry all the time, and i wondered why on earth his wife married him...
when i was really young, like about 3 my parents were out of town for a week and we had a babysitter. she took us to church, which was something i hadn't done before since we weren't religious. it was excruciatingly boring but after a while of sitting there i thought i would try to listen to what was being said (because i couldn't see over the pews i thought it was just over a loud speaker or something). i coulnd't figure out why they kept talking about something called "cheesus" and couldn't fathom what the big deal with cheese was. i still don't get it, to be honest.
When I was just a little kid, there were Coca-Cola commercials on at the time that would always end with a person taking a drink of Coke, and saying: "Ahhh". The priest at my church would always say "Ahhh" (but more of an exhaling of breath than an Ahhh) after he took a drink from the chalice. This lead me to believe that the priest had Coca-cola in his chalice.