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I used to be an alter boy and when we served funerals we got money off the family for serving and I used to think they payed us to cry so it would look better.
At the end of the mass,the priest says something along the lines of "The Mass is ended...let us go in peace" and everyone says "Thanks be to God".When I was a kid,I didn't realise this was actually part of the mass:I thought it was a spontaneous thing that once the priest said the mass was finished and everyone could go home,they were so happy that they said "Thanks be to God".
I've just turned 35, and was raised as a Catholic, doing everything that came with it - First Communion, Confirmation, and a whole lot of lessons both at school and church. And yet - until fairly recently, I NEVER realized that they REALLY meant that the host becomes the body of Christ. I thought it was all symbolic. My boyfriend, who is Church of England, had a very hard time convincing me of it. Well, although I had't really believed in any god for a long time, that certainly did it for me.
I am Catholic and when I was a child I assumed that there were only two different religions: Catholic and Public. I thought this because I was Catholic and attended Catholic school so I assumed that the children who attended the Public school next-door were Publics, right?
When attending Catholic mass as a kid, I thought the final thing said was not "Thanks be to God" but rather "Thanks, speedy God". I was always dying to get out of mass as quickly as possible and I was glad that the rest of the congregation felt the same way! (at least until I realized what they were really saying)
Until I was eleven I used to believe in God. From the age of five my parents sent me and my younger brother to Sunday School each week, giving us a few pence each to put in the offering plate. When I realised that we hadn't been caught spending half of the offering money in the sweet shop each Sunday for the previous four years I stopped believing in any form of omniscient being. Sorry, Mum!
When I was a kid of 8 or 9, I read the Ten Commandments for the first time (our family was not religious), and upon coming to "Thou shalt not commit adultery," asked my mother what "adultery" was.
She was not aware of what I had been reading, but explained, quite accurately, that adultery was putting water into wine or other alcoholic drinks to make them weaker.
For a long time I thought, "Man! God is REALLY SERIOUS about making sure people get what they pay for in a bar!"
When I was very small the Catholic Church used the old LAtin liturgy, and the priest celebrated mass with his back to the congregation. During the consecration, a lot happened. The priest washed his hands, poured some water into a chalice, then he would make the sign of the cross over the chalice, which seemed a sort of stirring motion when seen from behind. A few moments later he opened the tabernacle, and took out a chalice full of already consecrated hosts. Naturally, I thought the tabernacle was a small oven, and the priest had stirred up a batch of communion wafers and baked them on the spot.
I used to wonder what the nuns' husbands thought of their poor fashion sense...we had Franciscan nuns at my church when I was a little girl.
that the money I gave at sunday school would go straight to God.
I used to believe that God lived in the men's room of my childhood church. This was mainly due to my Sunday School teacher telling our class that he lived at our church, and my not being able to find him in any other room. The only room I couldn't enter was the men's room, so I assumed that because I didn't see him anywhere else, that's where he must live. I think I was 6.
When I first went to Sunday School I was frightened and cried. There were some glass globes full of water and bubbles sometimes could be seen. They were only drinking water dispensors, but I thought it was Holy Water and the bubbles were the Holy Ghost.
I used to believe the local Catholic church was Disney Land.
When I was in 5th grade our teacher went around the room asking us our religious beliefs. Well, I was the only one in my class who wasn't catholic and when it came my turn I told her "I'm Prostitute" and when she looked at me in disbelief I continued by saying "It's true, ask my mom, she's one too!"
When I was a child, my friend told me that God can change me from a girl to a boy. I resented God for this and to this day I have rejected any belief in Christianity.
When i eas little, when i went to church, the preacher always said that it was God's house, and i thought that it literally was his house and that he lived in the steeple.
I grew up catholic in Scotland in the 60's and I used to think that children couldn't sin. I was forever naughty, but safe and happy in the belief that all children were free from sin and therefore I could keep being naughty until I was an adult. What I now know is that naughty little girls grow up to be VERY NAUGHTY big girls...
There was a certain drinking fountain at my church that I always drank out of from the time I was a toddler. There was a plaque mounted on the wall next to this drinking fountain that had the Bible verse that said "Whoever drinks this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst again."
I remember when I learned to read, I read that plaque and I thought that the reason I ever got thirsty was BECAUSE I had drank from that drinking fountain. I remember thinking that it was too bad I drank from it before I learned to read-- if I hadn't, I would never get thirsty ever again!
When we were 11 or 12, we were confirmed in to the Catholic church. Part of this is that you choose a saint's name, to go with your own name...to this day I'm still not sure why...I think it had something to do with what God would call you...Anyway, on the day, you had to go up in front of the bishop, state your chosen name, and then he would tap you on your cheek. (again, don't know why!) All the older kids who had already been confirmed used to tell us that if the bishop didn't like you, or if you had been bad a school, he would smack you across the face. Someone told me that one guy, Noel, who was the "bad-boy" at school, got a black eye because the bishop hit him so hard! I really really believed it, and I was quaking in my shoes when it came to my turn, in case the bishop knew about all the times I had been caught talking in class...
As a small Catholic child attending Benediction I used to believe that during the ceremony they were burning INSECTS (i.e.incense) and wondered why insects would smell so bad when burned.