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church

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When I asked my grandmother what happened to the money we put in the collection plate at church, she said it "was for God." I interpreted this literally, but added a childish fantastic twist to the concept, and believed that every so often God would send a flying ship called "The Ship of Zion" (I have no idea why it was called that) to collect the money and take it to heaven. This still struck me as odd, because supposedly heaven's streets were paved with gold...

Anon
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I used to believe that all nuns were bald. Something about a rite of passage for nuns was in there devotion to God they lost all there hair.....

Michelle
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Although my family wasn't Catholic and I didn't even know any Catholics, I did know who the Pope was. When I couldn't figure out why Easter was on a different date every year, I assumed the Pope decided every year when Easter would be celebrated.

Anon
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My six year-old cousin thought that virgins were people who went to Church, and went around declaring that she wasn't a virgin.

Anon
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I used to wonder what the nuns' husbands thought of their poor fashion sense...we had Franciscan nuns at my church when I was a little girl.

Anon
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When I was very young, I used to hear adults refer to church as "the house of God", so one day when my sister wore new shoes to church I asked her on her return - "well, what did God think of your new shoes?"

Anon
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when i was small in primary school, in assemblies teachers used to talk about the holy bible. I used to think it had holes in, like a piece of holey cheese. I thought this for quite a long time until i actaully saw a bible. My family wern't religious, so i only saw an actual bible when i was about 8 years old

Jenn
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Our family has never been religious, so as a child I was ignorant of religion. In fact, I used to believe that 'pedestrian' was a type of religion. I remember riding in the car with my mother, seeing a 'pedestrian crossing' and getting annoyed that only 'pedestrians' had a special crossing.

Natasha
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When we were in church, about to have offering, the preacher said "Let us give unto God." I thought the ushers sat the plates there after and God beamed up the money into heaven.

go hump a tree
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My 4th grade daughter recently spent the night with her friend who is a member of the Church of of Latter Day Saints. She then went with their family to church the next day.
Upon returning home the next day, and knowing that her father grew up in this church (not practicing now though) she asked him,
"Daddy, where you do YOU keep your Book of Norman?"

We are bad parents and still haven't told her the correct name.

aviano_2004
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in church, where they say "let us proclaim teh mystery of faith. christ has died, christ is risen, christ will come again." I thought they said "christ has dies, christ is PRISON."
and that kinda threw me off, cuz like i didn't want to go to church and then have 2 go to prison.
=[

nick
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I used to believe that the Mormon Temple in Washington DC was Disney World. It sure does from the belt way.

William Scheren
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i used to think that the pope was married but also i thought howcome her wife never appeared on TV

jp
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When I was a child attending Catholic church my Mom would tell my sister an I not to let the communion host touch our teeth. It was Jesus's body and if we bit it we would be biting Jesus and He had already suffered enough when he was hung on the cross.

Annmarie
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When I was too young to go to confession, I'd watch my parents and others go behind the confessional curtains, and imagined that there were stairways that led down to a dungeon-like large space . . . but I don't think or don't remember what I thought went on down there.

Roger Mexico
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I used to believe that religion was something that was in another language. I was raised a Catholic. When I was young it was in Latin at church. My mother is Mexican so it was Spanish at home. It was a long time before I knew otherwise.

Judy
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I used to believe God lived in the altar, because ordinary folk were never allowed beyond the altar rail. One night I crept into the church and peeked under the altar cloth to find a very ordinary looking table underneath. That's when I started to get very suspicious about religion.

Shantavira
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When I was little, on days when we visited my grandmother, we would go to a different church than we usually did. At the back of this church, on the second level, on the balcolny, there was a huge gold organ. I thought it was the gate of Hell.

Z. Maus
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When I was small, I used to believe that behind the altar at church where the priest used to stand was a sweet shop. I became very very jealous and when ever he bent down to kiss the bible, he'd be snaffling sweets from down below. Not surprising when you consider I thought communion was white chocolate buttons and I got really annoyed all my brothers got to have one but I had to wait till I was 8. Huh!

Lil devil
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When walking to church on Sunday mormings, I used to believe that the crosswalk sign was placed there exclusively for us "Presbyterians"; not for just any pedestrians.

Eileen Somers
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