religion: church

One time when I couldn't read very well and went by a church called "Church Of Christ" I thought it said church of thirst and I thought you could go there to get a drink if you were thisry!

When I was younger, whenever I went to church and the congregation all spoke at once during prayer or as a response, I wondered how they all knew what to say.
I then came to the conclusion that they were all robots, including my parents.
However, the robot's theory only existed in church, then everybody was human.

When I asked my grandmother what happened to the money we put in the collection plate at church, she said it "was for God." I interpreted this literally, but added a childish fantastic twist to the concept, and believed that every so often God would send a flying ship called "The Ship of Zion" (I have no idea why it was called that) to collect the money and take it to heaven. This still struck me as odd, because supposedly heaven's streets were paved with gold...

Although my family wasn't Catholic and I didn't even know any Catholics, I did know who the Pope was. When I couldn't figure out why Easter was on a different date every year, I assumed the Pope decided every year when Easter would be celebrated.

When I was very young, I used to hear adults refer to church as "the house of God", so one day when my sister wore new shoes to church I asked her on her return - "well, what did God think of your new shoes?"

when i was small in primary school, in assemblies teachers used to talk about the holy bible. I used to think it had holes in, like a piece of holey cheese. I thought this for quite a long time until i actaully saw a bible. My family wern't religious, so i only saw an actual bible when i was about 8 years old

Our family has never been religious, so as a child I was ignorant of religion. In fact, I used to believe that 'pedestrian' was a type of religion. I remember riding in the car with my mother, seeing a 'pedestrian crossing' and getting annoyed that only 'pedestrians' had a special crossing.

When we were in church, about to have offering, the preacher said "Let us give unto God." I thought the ushers sat the plates there after and God beamed up the money into heaven.

My 4th grade daughter recently spent the night with her friend who is a member of the Church of of Latter Day Saints. She then went with their family to church the next day.
Upon returning home the next day, and knowing that her father grew up in this church (not practicing now though) she asked him,
"Daddy, where you do YOU keep your Book of Norman?"

We are bad parents and still haven't told her the correct name.

in church, where they say "let us proclaim teh mystery of faith. christ has died, christ is risen, christ will come again." I thought they said "christ has dies, christ is PRISON."
and that kinda threw me off, cuz like i didn't want to go to church and then have 2 go to prison.
=[

I used to believe that the Mormon Temple in Washington DC was Disney World. It sure does from the belt way.

i used to think that the pope was married but also i thought howcome her wife never appeared on TV

When I was a child attending Catholic church my Mom would tell my sister an I not to let the communion host touch our teeth. It was Jesus's body and if we bit it we would be biting Jesus and He had already suffered enough when he was hung on the cross.

When I was too young to go to confession, I'd watch my parents and others go behind the confessional curtains, and imagined that there were stairways that led down to a dungeon-like large space . . . but I don't think or don't remember what I thought went on down there.

I used to believe that religion was something that was in another language. I was raised a Catholic. When I was young it was in Latin at church. My mother is Mexican so it was Spanish at home. It was a long time before I knew otherwise.

I used to believe God lived in the altar, because ordinary folk were never allowed beyond the altar rail. One night I crept into the church and peeked under the altar cloth to find a very ordinary looking table underneath. That's when I started to get very suspicious about religion.