i used to believe

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When I was not yet tall enough to see over the people in front of me at church, I used to believe that it was God actually giving mass into a loudspeaker. When I eventually grew taller, I thought our preist was God's substitue, because he had to be at other churches on Sunday.

Holly A.
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I grew up Catholic. At one mass, when the collection plate came around, I turned and asked my parents (very loudly) why everybody was throwing their money in the trash can. As I continued to demand an answer, I couldn't understand why they seemed so mad at me and kept telling me to be quiet-I just wanted to know.

silverbell04
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Until four days ago I thought that priests just lived in the church, and had no houses. I'm 15.
My mom will never let me live that down, I just know...

Anon
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Well-actually this was in my synnaguge. I was about 5 or 6 and there were these stained glass windows on the walls featuring the Jewish holidays and the twelve tribes of Israel. Well there was the one of Joseph-which is represented by a tree, and because the tree had sphere shaped fruit of green, pink and purple (dispite not being an evergreen) I concluded that it was a Christmas tree. So I happily shouted "Mommy, Christmas tree!" and she told me to shush.

I still find this to be delightfully funny.

Glowworm
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When I was a little kid I though that the idea of hell was very satisfying, I legitimately wanted to go to hell. Actually, I was so obsessed with Satan and hell that I would draw pictures of hell, and listen to slayer. I look back at my weird self and laugh, but in all actuality, a kid who is a satanist is pretty rad.

Anon
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When I was maybe 4 years old and attending Sunday School, I thought the teacher was telling us about the JUICE in Israel. I couldn't figure out why the JUICE had anything to do with chosen people

Mark Gould
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Through a mental confusion of the Catholic ritual of Ash Wednesday and the bit about "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," as a kid I thought that the first time the priest smeared those ashes on my forehead, I was gonna die.

Sean
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My cousin Chris wanted to be a priest because he thought that all the money gathered in the collection plate was his to keep.

Benathonius
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After Sunday School, we would attend "regular" church. The preacher would pass the collection plate for "God's Work." I always believed that our preacher went up to heaven every Sunday afternoon to give the money to God.

Kay Verdin
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I used to belive we were thanking God for being so quick to answer our prayers when the congregation said "thanks be to god", becuase I said "thanks speedy god"

Beth
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I grew up in a pretty strict Lutheran church, and I sincerely believed that if I took communion when I was in any way spiritually unprepared, that I would be immediately shot straight through the floor down into hell to burn for all eternity. Right there, on the spot. No second chances. Only a pile of clothes and shoes would remain.

The fact that I had never observed this phenomenon didn't diminish my conviction that it was guaranteed to happen to me.

I never signed up for confirmation/first communion because I figured I wasn't stupid enough to play Russian Roulette with my immortal soul.

I still hold my breath at other people's kids' First Communions.

Anon
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I used to believe that God used the wind to talk to me: if the wind was blowing on me He was approving of what I was thinking, and a sudden lull in the wind was His signal for me to abandon whatever I was thinking about and start something new. At some point I stopped believing, but I'll probably never get rid of the "oh no" reflex that I get whenever I'm out walking and the wind dies down.

Soap
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when people in church shook hands saying "peace be with you", i thought it was "pleased to meet you"!still very friendly person today..

silly sarah
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I used to believe the angels were in the speakers at church because of the loud female voice singing.

Anon
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i used to believe nuns were married to jesus and priests were married to mary.

sunshine
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When I was younger my mother told me that Jesus would apper at mass, or so I believed. I was so dissapointed to find out that Jesus didn't show up. Mother told me he couldn't make it.

m0u5y
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That those names and numbers up in front of the church alter ie:(John 3:16)were of people that had recently died at that time of the day!

Pam
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In church when I was little the priest always used to say "hym and hym and hym" I always thought he was talking about some guys so I would stand up and look around for 3 guys at the alter I only saw one guy (the priest) after my mom told me to sit down I would always say "Mom we really need to see the eye doctor..."

Morgan
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As a protestant growing up in a catholic school, I was not used to certain catholic customs, such a recieving first communion around the age of about 8 or 9, (second grade). While not participating, I was required to attend my classmate's communion. When I saw them walk down to the front in white dresses and little suits, I thought the school was forcing my classmates to marry each other! I had belived this until I asked my teacher why they did this. She set me straight.

Anon
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When I was in kindergarten a priest came around on Ash Wednesday to put ashes on our heads. All I got out of his talk beforehand was that after he put the ashes on my head I was going to die in 40 days. I remember holding back the tears & wanting my mom.

Nancy L
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