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church

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page 15 of 32

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At Catholic mass, during the receiving of holy communion, my mom had explained that the body of Christ was being given out to eveyone to make them more holy. My younger brother always believed that the reason people were chewing communion was because it had skin on it.

KJS
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I went to a church and I lived in a city called Holly and when i looked at the bibles in the church they would say Holy bible I thought they were talking about a "Holly Bible" and that they had a Bible for Holly.

Beverly
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I used to believe that my pastor and his family lived inside our church. I was very jealous of his kids because the had such big bedrooms and got to play with all the toys.

Lindsay
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Sometimes my family and I used to go to my dad's childhood church for special occasions, instead of our usual one. There was a door behind the altar with a fancy iron gate, and when I asked my dad what was in there, he said that was where Jesus was. But unlike a lot of beliefs I've seen on here, I did not feel like that church was special to have Jesus living in it; I was actually kind of creeped out. Why did they have to keep him behind a gate instead of letting him out to see everyone? I ended up deciding that maybe it was not Jesus in there at all, but an angry spirit that had to be kept away from us. Or if it was Jesus, maybe HE was angry about something somebody at the church had done and was locked up so he wouldn't take revenge in public.

Recently I went back to that church and it has been remodeled to look entirely different. The door is gone and just a blank wall is there now. I might think I had imagined that door if not for the vivid memories of all the time I spent as a kid staring at it in wonder and horror during mass.

Anon
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I used to think that the offerings in church were teleported directly up to heaven; I pictured the gold offering plates floating up into the sky.

Brooke
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I used to believe that nuns had to hold in their pee for penance. I wasn't even brought up religiously, so who knows where the idea of penance even came in.

Anon
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when i was little i thought that jesus only died for me and no one else and that is why i was there, because i almost died when i was born, and i thought that he died to save me

Anon
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I thought that all tithe money was put into a small room and God came down and took the money to heaven with him. They always said it was "God's money" then they would take up collection and then walk it out of the main sanctuary. I thought that if I could just hide in that room then I would be able to see God.

Amanda
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When I was 8 and having my first communion, my mom put a white veil on me and I protested, saying "But this is for marrying. I'm not getting married."
Mom said "You're marrying God." Now I realize she just mean that this would make me closer to god but at the time it sounded awful. I got so upset and started crying saying "I don't wanna marry God." I thought that first communion meant you really actually married God, and you never got to fall in love with anyone else.

A troubled romantic
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When I was very little I used to believe that if I stood by the statues in the church they would come alive and give me a piece of coltsfoot rock. I Still have no idea where this came from but I remember feeling annoyed when I never got any rock.

Angela
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That you start out Catholic and after you reach a certain age you then become Protestant.

Anon
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when the Priest in my church used to say something about praying "as our lord tortoise"... i thought that God had the ability to change into a tortoise or something

Anon
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In my Catholic church, when the priest holds up the bread in wine, bells ring. So I always thought that was god calling us. Then when i became an altar server I found out the truth, that we ring the bells.

You know whats sad? I became an altar server in 6th grade.

Ashley
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when I was little I used to think that the frankincense smell in a catholic church was from old people wetting themselves on the carpet.

Rebecca
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Being a non-Catholic, I used to believe that the word virgin was another word for Catholic: My third grade friends, however, had recently learned what virgin really meant and were afirming that they were indeed still virgins. I'll never forget their faces when I declared, "I'm not a virgin."

Katie, CA
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As a lover of animals, one time in church I was quite excited by the sermon because my mis-understanding of the minister who I swore said 'Gladly, the cross-eyed bear'

Philip
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When I was a child, my friend told me that God can change me from a girl to a boy. I resented God for this and to this day I have rejected any belief in Christianity.

Alicia
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When I was younger I thought that you had to be Italian to be Catholic because all the Catholic people I knew were Italian.

Anon
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I used to think that at communion time at church, the priest performed magic and made the Eucharist appear out of nowhere. I believed this for a long time until I saw them in bowls in the back before church started.

Sarah
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When I was small I didn't know the difference between the words 'protestant' and 'prostitute', and thought they meant the same thing- needless to say I caused my mother alot of embarrassment one day when walking past a church.

Ellie
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