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I was told that if your ever swore in church, as you walked out God would strike you with a bolt of lightning.
When i was little and at church the precher would mention your soul...i always saw it as a golden block that was in the middle of your chest and it shone brighter if you did something good and got duller when you did something bad...i also thought that bad doctors who worked for the Devil could steal it if you had surgery....the last part i have no idea how that came about....
when i was younger, and went to church with my parents..i mistook the words "thanks be to god" for "thanks peter god" (the priest was called peter)
In the North of England my home was close to a Catholic Convent. Only the Mother Superior went outside the Wall. Was told that when little girls misbehaved that they were taken into the convent by the mother Superior in her long robe. She would catch and put them under it.
When nuns still wore the long black gowns I would cross the streets away from them if I saw one. (I was a good girl). Stayed with me for a long time.
I used to feel bad for the nice ladies in the white hats and black gowns with the cross necklaces because I thought people were calling them 'nothing'. When I learned how to spell, I finally realized they were called "N-u-n-s", not "n-o-n-e-s"
I used to believe that because nuns usually took a different name for religious purposes that priests had to have a religious themed last name. This was due to having a priest named Father Cross. When he was replaced with Father Donahoe, I was stunned. I guess I was expecting something like Father Church or Father Altar.
I used to think that Jesus himself was buried in the altar at my Catholic Church. I guess i thought this because i never went to any other church, and i thought mine was the one.
that God lives in the roof of our church and makes electricity to light the chandeliers
When I was a teenager, I asked my friend what religion she was (she had recently moved from Pakistan to Canada). She told me "Ismaili", but, not having heard of that religion before, I heard "Smiley". I rsponded, "That's so cute!" In retrospect, that came off condescending and horrible, and I'm terribly embarrassed. I sincerely hope she doesn't remember.
I used to go to a catholic church when I was younger, and when they would pass out the baskets to take up the money, when they where done, they would go down the center isle that was closed from people going inside.
When the doors closed I thought inside was a giant machine with all these mechanical objects that buzzed, blinked and whirred , that would teleport all the money to heaven for god. The way the money got to his is by a giant light that carried the money all the way up.
I use to think church was spelt turch because of the big T on the roof.
As a young child in church, I noticed that above the altar there was a large, white, round cement or plaster figure of a bird which represented the Holy Spirit. I was convinced that the organ music came out of this spot, even though I also knew that the organ was in the choir loft in the rear of the church.
when i was little i thought god changed my name the first day i went to church
Being raised Christian, I was always told "Jesus is in your heart". I used to believe that he was trapped inside my heart, and was banging on the walls of it to get out, and that's why my heart would beat.
I hated church. My uncle had me (and my cousins) to believe that, on Easter day, the Easter Bunnies leave chocolate and sweets all over the garden, just for us kids, if we were good and if we went to church regularly, and especially on Easter day. If we didn't go to church on that day, they would be so scared of being seen flying around (yes, they flew high in the sky on that day) they would left nothing for us.
After my parents told me Santa was dead, to spare me the pain that he never existed, I had my doubts about the existence of flying bunnies leaving chocolate presents in our garden.
I eventually found the chocolates, carefuly hidden in a wardrobe, and put them all under my bed. Then I watched the adults looking for those chocolates the rest of that day. My brother and my cousins never forgave me.
Because I was so short, I couldn't see the altar boys at Mass. I though that
the host itself made the little ringing bell noise when the priest held it up.
when we were preparing to receive our First Communion in the Catholic Church (may 8 years old) the nuns told us that if we touched the host in our mouth with our fingers,that blood would pour out of our mouths all over our white communion clothes.
I once believed that the priest at the small country catholic church in Australia was calling apon some magical thing during the consecration of the host. Every time he said "let us pray" I thought he was calling apon "Alice spray". I had no idea who Alice was, nor why her spray might be so good, but sure hoped to have some one day.
I thought it was against the law not to go to church, and even more so if you were a kid. So I was deathly afraid that someone would lock up my family one day if we were discovered.
I used to believe that the difference between Catholics and Protestants were that Catholics used microphones to talk to God!