religion: church

I never thought this, but when I was a kid a guy my age told me that the New Testament was just the New Testament until the next Testament would be published. Then what we know as the New Testament would become the Old Testament. I asked him he was wrong and asked what they'd do with the current Old Testament. I never got a good answer to that one.

Growing up in a Catholic home, I was a tad confused on a few things. I thought to have a baby you had to have a wedding in the church (even if you'd already been married there) and the preist prayed over the couple and if you prayed hard enough a baby would be sent down on a bolt of lightening.

I also thought Satan lived in our basement.....ah precious memories!

in catecism class, when we learned how to eat the body of christ. i thought it was actually jesus that had been dehydrated or freeze-dried. i always thought it was weird we were pracitsing cannibalsim

We had 8 kids in our Catholic family, so sometimes I guess my mother got a little tired and lax about Lent rules. Anyhow, we ate pizza on many Fridays, the day of fasting during Lent. So my mother told us, and I grew up believing, that pepperonis were not meat, and thus they were okay to eat, even during Lenten fasting.

I grew up as a Protestant, but one day i was asked what my denomination was and i said "I'm a prostitute". I think i was about six years old. I still chuckle when I think of this.

when I was little I thought that everyone was the same religion.

Anyway I'm Roman Cathiolic, and before Easter we have this thing called Lent, and we don't eat meat on Fridays. One Friday When I was in second grade my best friend started to eat a balongna sandwhich and I nearly tackled her...I was screaming, "What are YOU DOING?? That's a baloney sandwhich! It's meat!" Needless to say she was very confused and freaked out. It turned out she was a Baptist!

When I was in junior high, I was asked to be an acolyte at church. That meant walking behind the pastor and lighting the candles at the start of the service, and then extinguishing them at the end. There was a special robe I got to wear, which meant that after the service, I would follow the pastor to his office where we would hang our robes back up in the closet. He was chatting with me, and taking his robe off (fully clothed underneath, of course). It was the first time the thought crossed my mind that 'Pastor Ed' was a regular person. I was disturbed by the thought that he went home and ate dinner, watched t.v. and yelled at his kids just like everyone else.

Don't get me started on the time when I walked into the church kitchen and saw a big, industrial size bag of wafers from some warehouse store, and realized that they were the 'body of christ' I was given at communion.

I was in church one Sunday with my 4 year old daughter. The choir members would walk down the aisle singing at the beginning of the service. My daughter would stand on the pew so she could watch them as they came in. The preacher had not come out to the pulpit at the time. My daughter turned to me as said in a concerned tone " Momma, I see the angels singing, but where is God at?"

One time while I was in church, I saw the priest go over to the deacon. He made the sign of the cross, and then the deacon did the same thing, then the priest...blessed the deacon, I guess (where he takes his hand and just kinda...moves it in the shape of a cross). Well, I thought it was a secret handshake.

When I was young, the woman teaching us in church would tell us to let Jesus into our hearts. I was completely confused by this, wondering how Jesus could come into ALL of our hearts, because he was only one person. Then I came up with the strange idea that he'd place each one of his body parts into our hearts so that he'd be with everyone. As I got older I became more aware of spirituality and figured out I was wrong.

When I was a kid, I used to believe that "Moron" was a religion, but I believed it was a religion for bad people because the characters in MAD Magazine always used it in a negative way. Later I found out that the religious denomination was called "Mormon", because I asked my friend's mom if she had a lot of kids because they were "Morons". Fortunately she let me stay.

I used to believe that at night when the lights went on and lit up the church that is was God shining down from heaven.

When I was younger I used to go to mass that was said in irish. "In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit" was "In ainm an Athar agus an Mac agus an Spioraid Naomh" 'Mac' was pronouned like 'Vic' and 'Naomh' is pronounced 'neeve'. My best friend was called Niamh and so when we said this, I thought I was saying a prayer to 2 people called Vick and Niamh. Surprisingly, I am now fluent in irish.

When I was little I remmember saying to my mother in church 'gods name is Peter' she was curious to know why I thought this and I explained I knew because the congregation always said 'Thanks Peter god'

When I was very young, I used to wonder if it was a sin--maybe they were "taking God's name in vain"--when I saw the commercials on TV for Godchaux Sugar.

I used to think that all Jewish people came from Michigan, because my dad is Jewish and he grew up in Michigan.