religion: hymns

I once went out with a girl, who's sister used to sing a song a school which went "damp damp where ever he may be, i am the lord of the damp settee!! It was actually called lord of the dance....lol

In the Lutheran church I attended every Sunday, we sang "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest." One really beautiful woman in the choir also had an amazingly good voice, and because the choir stood in a loft far above the rest of us parishoners, and no one told me what the word "Hosanna" meant, I figured that "Hosanna" must be the woman's name and we were singing about her.

I used to think that the words were "Dance, dance where-ever you may be, I am the lord of the Dance Settee..."
I imagined that Jesus and his followers running around my living room and jumping on the settee. My parents still have the settee and I still think of it as the Dance Settee

I used to sing the song "Silent Night" with the words "Brown young virgins, mother and child"

When I was in year 1 at primary school (aged 5) we had to go to assembly with the whole school, but weren't given hymnbooks to help us sing the songs as most of couldn't read well enough yet. As a result, for years I sang "Dance, dance, wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dance settee". I assumed a "dance settee" was a place where you could be really comfortable, warm, etc, and were allowed to jump on the furniture!

I used to believe that the words of the carol Come all ye faithful were "Come Molly faithful" and always wondered who Molly Faithful was.

This is really my elderly friend's recollection.

Her family bred Siamese cats, which were of course good mousers. When the little girl learned to sing, "Gentle Jesus, meek and mild" she thought the 3rd line went, "Pity mice implicitly" instead of the actual "Pity my simplicity"! (You must remember that children's spoken vocabulary was much more sophisticated in those days!)

When I was a little girl, we used to watch "Little House on the Prairie" as a family. I often heard the hymn, "Bringing in the Sheaves" on the program...but what I heard was "Bringing in the Cheese"! I always pictured people walking down the aisle, carrying plates of cheese!

As a young schoolboy of 6 I remember christmas assemblies at school. I really believed that that favourite christmas hymn 'We three Kings of orient are' actually whent like this, "We three Kings of orient are, one in a taxi, one in a car, one on a scooter beeping his hooter smoking a big cigar." Imagine my surprise when i changed to another school that had an overhead projector, and saw the real words for the first time in a christmas hymn service.... i was ten before i realised i had been singing the wrong words for most of my early school life.

I though that the words to the hymn 'Sing Hosanna' were 'Sing Lasagna' - my verion was much tastier!

I always thought the line of "In Exelsis Deo" from the carol "Angels We Have Heard On High" was actually "Angels eat eggshells daily", and informed my very confused mother that I didn't want to go to heaven, because I didn't want to eat eggshells.

When I used to go to Sunday School, I firmly believed the words to the song 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' were 'Jesus wants me for a zombie' and used to sing as loud as possible as it was my favourite song

The hymn that goes

"Gladly the cross I'd bare"

was one, I thought involved a bear with eye problems.

"Gladly, the cross eyed bear".

We used to sing a hymm at primary school called "Oh Jesus I have promised", which had the line "I hope to follow Duly, My saviour and my friend". I had an older sister called Julie, and wondered if she was named after the person in the song everyone wanted to follow.

We had to sind carols at school, but not having any clue about religiou stuff, I used to be sure that the words were..

"and in thy dark streeets CHIIINA "

because obviously its dark in China....

"and in thy dark streets shineth", just doesn`t work for me, even now

When my 93 year old Granddad was a boy his favourite carol was "Hark the Harold (yes, Harold) angels sing"... He was sure they were singing about him as his name was Harold!