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I also used to think God had a pet tortoise. Why? Well, one of the hyms we sang went "Great things he hath tortoise". What would you have thought?
There is a chorus that talks about the "Cross I bear" a kid I knew used to get excited and asked his aunt if they could sing the song about the "cross-eyed bear"
I used to think the line in "Silent Night, Holy Night" that goes "...holy infant, so tender and mild" actually went "...holy imbecile, tender and mild." Now, I was a smart girl, and I knew what imbecile meant, but I thought maybe it had some esoteric meaning I wasn't aware of.
During the Catholic Mass, when we would sing "Grant us peace", my sister thought we were singing about some guy, Grantos Beece. She's 27 now and only figured out there's no Grantos about 3 years ago...
when I was at school we used to sing the Hymn, the Lord of the Dance. When it got to the chorus, the line went - "Dance Lord wherever you may be i am the Lord of the dance said he" However i thought the line went "dnace Lord wherever you may be I am the Lord of the dance setee" and surprisingly enough imagined the Lord dancing on a sofa!
When I first went to school, we sang the same hymn every day. no one ever taught you the words, you just picked tehm up as you went along. So I spent three years of my life thinking Jesus had a dancing sofa, cos I was singing "I am the Lord with the Dancing Settee" (instead of "I am the Lord of the Dance, said he")
The Christmas song "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" contains the line "most angelic hosts proclaim." As a kindergartner, I interpreted this as "toast and jelly coasts proclaim."
I remember being rather confused at the lyric in the popular Christmas carol that went 'Dawn we now our day of peril, fa la la, la la la, la la la'. I couldn't figure out why we were so happy about a day of peril, but hey. Christmas is weird.
When I was little, I liked this hymn at church that had the line, "turning his ears always to me", but I thought it was "Turning Ah Zeee", and preceeded to ask my pastor to play to play "Turning Ah Zee, puhlease". I think I've always been a little confused...
A line from the a christmas carol verse read 'most highly favoured lady' I used to think said 'most highly flavoured gravy'.
There is a an Easter him called 'Thine be the Conqueror' which contains the line 'risen conquering son'. I used to think that line was 'risen concrete son' so for a number of years I thought Jesus was made of concrete and that's why he could rise again after being crucified.
In one church hymn the words are- most highly favoured lady, but I used to think it was most highly flavoured gravy.
In the hymn 'Lord, Have Mercy on Us All', I used to sing Lord have mercy on Azal and I thought "Azal" was a little man in a spaceship like the one in Button Moon!
Me and my sister both thought for ages that the words to a hymn we used to sing at school "For I am the Lord of the Dance, said he", went "For I am the Lord of the down setee". We were a bit confused about this and worried because we didn't have a setee in our house - did that mean we couldn't have Jesus in our house too?
As a young woman, I never lived down being heard to sing - as a six-year-old - "Jesus bitches shine".
I thought that the song "the Lord of the dance" was about dancing on a sette - rather than "I am the Lord of the Dance said he". It was great that he as a grown up was inviting us to jump on his settee.