religion: hymns

I misheard "Bringing in the Sheaves" as "Bringing in the Sheep". It was in an episode of The Simpsons. Since there are a lot of metaphors in the Bible involving sheep, I did not pay it much thought.

And my brother also misheard it like this, so we would go around singing it like that.

This was actually my friend's belief, but I had to put it. He went to church every Sunday as a child, and they would sometimes sing the song "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear", which he supposed was a song about a bear named Gladly who had eye problems. It wasn't until later that he realized the song was "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear"

At Vacation Bible School one year, we had to sing a song called "Put on the Whole Armor of God". My friend, for the whole first day, thought the song went "Poot (like fart) on! Poot on! Poot on the whole armor of God, of God!" She finally figured out that those weren't the real lyrics, but we decided to tell my sister they were. She actually went the entire VBS singing that song that way...

In the hymn 'Jerusalem' I thought the line was "'Til we have built Jerusalem in England's green, unpleasant land"

It actually talks about England's green AND pleasant land. I always thought it was quite mean for a patriotic song.

When I was 5, I first went on a plane-a Virgin Atlantic one***-to America. When I returned, at school we had to sing hyms every day, and one time we sang "The Virgin Mary had a Baby Boy." Being the slightley odd child that I was, and not realising what Virgin meant, I thought that Virgin Atlantic Planes had sponsered the song. Damn.

***It was Halloween when we flew, and there was a witch drawing competition, and my sister won. She won a soft toy (a dog) and named it Virgin.


God knows what my parents thought about that!

This isn't mine it's my little sisters:
When she was in first grade she was in the school nativity play and they all had to sing 'away in a manger'
She was convinced the words were 'A Wayne in a manger'! Bless her she must have wondered who this wayne person was and what he had to do with jesus. It was around the time of Wayne Rooneys england debut though...

I used to believe he lyrics to we wish u a merry christmas were, "so bring us some friggin pudding!" rather than figgy pudding.
Honestly how was a 8 yr old meant 2 know what a figgy was?

"I will cast, all of my Burdens, down at your feet"

turned into:

"I will cast all of my Birdies, down at your feet"

What God wants with a bunch of dead birds by his feet is beyond me.

The song : 'He is exalted, forever exalted on high!'

Turned into: "He is INSULTED, forever insulted, on high"

I wondered what someone did to insult God forever.

There was a song that all the littlel kids sang. Something about "If you want to be hip to the Lord" Me and my sister were CONVINCED that it was really "If you want to HIT by the lord".

We argued about this with my mom for a long time.

When i was quite little (about 7 or 8) I thought that the works to the hymn 'Kum-bah-yah' were 'Cucumber, my Lord...' I always wondered why the lady sitting next to me in church was glaring at me...

When I was at school we sang the hymn 'Lord of the Dance' in assembly. I thought the lyrics went;

"Die then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance said he
And I'll kill you all, wherever you may be
And I'll kill you all with the dance, said he."

I honestly thought that Jesus wanted to kill me. It didn't really bother me though and I'm not sure if that was because I just accepted it as normal or because I didn't really believe in God anyway.

In Sunday School we used to sing a song about "The wise man built his house upon the rock/the foolish man built his house upon the sand."
The chorus said, "The rain came down and the floods came up/and the house on the rock stood firm/and the house on the sand fell flat."
And I used to sing loudly, "THE RAIN CAME DOWN AND THE FUSS CAME UP!!" and I'd picture a crowd of people fussing around outside the houses.

In our Baptist church we sang a hymn with a lively chorus that went "Rolled away, rolled away, I am happy all my burdens rolled away" which my little cousin misunderstood as--and sang with great enthusiasm-- "I am happy all the burglars rolled away!"

Iin the Christmas song, Hark the herald angels sing, when they say in excelsis deo, I used to think that they were singing Inn at Chelsie's stable, seeing as there was no room in any other inn, so they had to stay at the Inn in Chelsie's stable!

In the Christmas song "Joy To The World" I thought the words were: Let every heart prepare Him a room.
It made sense to me because I knew the story where there was no room at the Inn for Joseph and Mary.

When I was young when ever I heard the Christmas song Away in a Manger, I thought the Noel Noel chorus, meant that that the baby Jesus had no well, and therefore had no water to drink. I felt very sad for him.