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When I was little I used to believe that thunder was God moving his furniture, when it rained God was crying, when it snowed God was mopping his floors and lightning was the light switch going on and off in heaven.
When I was five, we sang a hymn in the school hall every Friday and one of the hymns said "tell me who made the world" - I thought 'tellmewho' was the name of a person and that this person made the world, lol! Later on I thought Tellmewho was another name for God... I was seven when I realised "tell me who" is three separate words!!
There is a chorus that talks about the "Cross I bear" a kid I knew used to get excited and asked his aunt if they could sing the song about the "cross-eyed bear"
There was this one hymn that my church always sang. It went, "Our heavenly father,"
I always sang it "Our harily father,"
I pictured God as some hairy guy, just covered in fur.
I only found out the correct lyrics two years ago.
I used to believe "certain" (used as a verb) was an uber-secret religious ritual performed on reluctant shepherds. I knew this because it said so in the song. "The First Noel the Angels did say, was to certain poor shepherds in field where they lay."
when I was at primary school, they put the hymns on a projector for us to sing. I was to young to read along and keep up with the singing, so I sang what I heard. I had a picture of Jesus dancing on a sofa in a party because of the hymn 'Lord Of Th Dance'- 'Dance then, whereever you may be, I am the Lord of the Dance Settee'
The song : 'He is exalted, forever exalted on high!'
Turned into: "He is INSULTED, forever insulted, on high"
I wondered what someone did to insult God forever.
when i was younger my favorite church hyme was "Victory in Jesus" because i thought it said "he socked me and bopped me" instead of "he sought me and bought me".
When I was little I used to go to Sunday School. We sang hymns and when we sang 'I am the Lord of the Dance, said he' I thought for years we were singing about Michael Flatly.
Even I thought it was strange singing about Michael Flatly at church but everything at church was strange so i believed that for ages!
when I was little we went to church religiously (pun intended) when I was three I had a favorite hymn seemingly written just for me... "I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm three..." I also enjoyed "I've got that pizza passing understanding down in my heart..."
In the Christmas song "Oh Holy Night", I misunderstood the line "Fall on your knees, oh hear the angels voices".
I thought it was "Fall, Anyanees", and Anyanees was the name of one of the shepards.
A few years ago, I attended Catholic mass with my brother and father. My brother and I hadn't been brought up Catholic, so the rituals and hymns were all very new to us. When the congregation began to sing "Hosana in the highest", my brother whispered to me, "Are they saying 'Throw Osama in the fire'?"
My Father had an interesting take on the carol 'we three kings'
'we three kings of trafalgar square
selling knickers at tuppence a pair
they're fantastic, no elastic
falling down everywhere...'
I come from Yorkshire and when we would sing Jingle Bells at Christmas I thought 'a one hose open sleigh' was 'a one horse serpent sleigh' because of the strong accents. I spent most of my childhood thinking that Father Christmas road a dragon.
When I was young, every Easter we sang a hymn in church which went "Low in the grave He lay, Jesus my saviour". I always thought the grown ups were singing "Low in the gravy lay Jesus...". To this day I can't sing it with a straight face!
At VBS (vacation bible school) there was a song that promised that we would "learn to seek Your face, and the knowledge of your grace...", which I heard as "learn to sink Your face", whatever that meant. I ultimately decided that it meant washing Jesus' face (almost as good as washing someone's feet).
My next best involved a series of songs that refered to Jesus as "the rock". (Lord you are my Rock, On Christ the solid rock I stand, etc) Well, I was appalled! If I were the ruler of the universe, I would want to be compared to something fierce, like a lion, or a tiger; comparing Jesus to something as inanimate as a rock seemed to border on an insult. It took me a while to come to terms with this one.
This was actually my Mum's! For years,she would go around the house singing the harvest Hymn "Bringing In The Sheathes" ...but she sang "Bringing In The Sheep" !
Another hymn one ( my boyfriends) When he heard the lyrics "We Are Weak But He Is Strong" he thought it was "we are weak,but tea is strong" !
...that when people sang The Battle Hymn Of The Republic they were singing about a lady named Glory who "had a looyah". I didn't know what a looyah was, but I figured it must be important that Glory had one.
do you know the swahili song that goes Siahumba kukan yenhe kwen kos (sorry i don't speak any swahili and this spelling is probably completely wrong!), or the english translation, We Are Marching In the Light of God. When I was young and when everyone sang that song in church, I always used to think on the kwen kos bit they were singing about cous cous!
We used to sing a hymn at Easter with the line, "up from the grave he arose." When I was little, I thought they were singing, "Up from the gravy he rose."