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When I was first learning to read, I thought "choir" was "chore." So every Wednesday and Sunday at 7 according to the the church bulletin, it was time for people to go to church and do chores! It took me a couple years to realize what the word really was.
I used to believe that Goria en Exelcis Deo (the carol) was actually Gloria in A Shell Station. I was always fairly confused as to why, during Christmas Mass, we sang about my Aunt Gloria getting gas. I would sing the lyrics quite loudly in church.
As a preschooler, I though the final line of "Away in a Manger", "And take us to heaven to live with thee there", was "And take us to heaven to live with the BEAR". I pictured Jesus at his throne accompanied by a huge shadowy black bear. Which was, of course, terrifying.
Up until I was nearly a teenager I believed that the Christmas carol "Silent Night" ended in "sleep in heavenly peas" and could not figure out why in the world ANYONE would want to lay in a bed of peas. I actually imagined a lady and a baby laying in a huge waterbed type piece of furniture filled with peas.
Also when I was younger I believed the song "Secret Agent Man" was really "Secret Asian Man" That one was pretty confusing too. But my dad thought it was pretty funny.
A friend used to believe that the words to the song "and He shall make us fishers of men", was actually "and He shall make us viscous old men".
Curious why God would want us to grow up to be miserable!
you know that song that goes "Hosanna in the Highest" well i used to think it went, "Lasagna in the Hallways" i always thought it went that way until i asked my mom, "hey, mom? wouldnt the lasagna go bad if it was just sitting there all the time?" My mom: "what?" Me: "you know, the lasagna. in the hallway?" then i sang the song for her and she just started laughing.
I was probably about sixteen until I realised there wasn't a magical kingdom of Orientar (as in 'We free Kings of Orientar').
in the hymn 'Gabrieals message' i alway thought the last line was 'highly flavoured gravy' instead of 'highly favoured lady'! whooops!
My husband used to think there was a gospel song called, "Bringing in the sheep" or "Bringing in the sheets". I set him straight after I stopped laughing.
When I was younger, my parents had me attend Sunday school. We always had to sing songs and this one song was "Praise thee the Lord, Hallelujah!" and I thought it was "Crazy the Lord, Hallelujah!" I'm almost 21 now and I didn't realize this until a few years ago. I just can't stop thinking about me belting that out during Sunday school.
I used to believe God had a pet tortoise. There was a hymn we sang that went "Great things he hath taught us"
When I was little, there was a man in our church's choir who sang off-key and just a few beats behind the other singers. When the singers paused for a breath, you still could hear his voice, echoing eerily. I thought he was the Holy Ghost.
My sis used to love lasagna. When we went to church, we would sing "Hosanna in the highest" but with my sister's love for lasagna she thought it was "Lasagna in the highest". She actually never found out till the third grade.
In a religious song, instead of “Jesus Christ” I heard “Cheese is Prize”
My niece attended a church-run preschool even though my sister and brother-in-law were not religious. The preschool taught the class the song "Jesus Loves Me". My niece thought that song contained the line "...because Feifel tells me so" instead of because the bible tells me so. She had seen the video Feifel Goes West so many times that she was sure that the little mouse, Feifel, told people that Jesus loved us.
The verse from a popular Easter hymn reads, "Up from the grave, He arose!". As a child I thought it was, "Up from the gravy...A rose!"
I used to believe he lyrics to we wish u a merry christmas were, "so bring us some friggin pudding!" rather than figgy pudding.
Honestly how was a 8 yr old meant 2 know what a figgy was?
i don't know if any of u know kid's songs but there's this one that goes "who built the ark? noah! noah!" like the story in the bible and i always thot it was "who build the ark? no one! no one!"
there was this other song about the golden rule that went "do to others, do to others, as u would have them do to u" and i thot they were singing "u have 2 mothers, u have 2 mothers etc" i always had a picture in my head of 2 women *both looking like my mom* pushing me in a stroller together
When I was 6, my class sang "Silent Night" for the school Christmas program. One of the kids asked the teacher what a virgin was. She said that "round yon virgin mother and child" mean that the mother and child were around on the other side of a mountain. Even after I learned the real meaning of the word virgin, I still thought that it was an alternate word for mountain. This was especially confusing to me because I am from West VIRGINia, also known as the Mountain State.
We sang without hymnbooks at our school and this was in the 70s when conflict in the Middle East was in the news a lot - we had a hymn with a line which I was sure went "and set the damned Jordan free" - when I finally saw a hymnbook and found out it was "and set the downtrodden free" I was disappointed