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hymns

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#Dance then, wherever you may be
#I am the Lord of the Dance, said he

I thought it was "Lord of the Dance Settee," and for a very long time I sincerely thought a giant sofa was a focus for early Christian worship...

PK
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As a young child I was convinced that Sebastian Temple's musical version of the Prayer of St Francis began "Bake me a flannel of your peas.."

Anon
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My little sister misunderstood the word of kid's hymn "Joshua and the Battle of Jericho" in Sunday School class. She sang "Joshua took the cherry from the Cherry Coke".

SBS in NJ
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I could never get over why everyone would sing such a gentle, sweet church hymn about a bomb. The song lyrics sounded like "There is a bomb in Gilead, to make the wounded body whole... to heal the sin-sick soul." I thought, what kind of a bomb could that be? Only one God could make I suppose. Finally the day of revelation came... "There is a balm in Gilead"

William
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This was actually my friend's belief, but I had to put it. He went to church every Sunday as a child, and they would sometimes sing the song "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear", which he supposed was a song about a bear named Gladly who had eye problems. It wasn't until later that he realized the song was "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear"

Mercedes
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Before I could read, as a child I sang the song, "Lo in the grave he laid, Jesus my Savior." I wondered what was Jesus doing lying in the gravy?

blou
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I was watching an old Christmas video from 1985 with my younger sister and I singing Christmas tunes and for the lyrics of the popular hymn "Silent Night", I was screaming "Holy infant so tender and WILD" instead of "Holy infant so tender and mild". I must have thought Baby Jesus was a wild kid!

Jess
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when i was little, i went to a jewish day camp. we would sing a song everyday that went like this: "let the heavens be glad / let the heavens be glad / let the earth rejoice / let the sea roar / let people unite!" I thought the last line was "let's go to sea world tonight" my mom still teases me about that, 10 years after i would sing that...

moi
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In the carol Ding Dong Merrily On High, I thought that the line hosanna in excelsis after the long "Gloria" was 'and someone has beaten Chelsea'

Helen
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Back when I was about two or three years old (old enough to know a word but not know what it means), I attended Sunday School. Anyway, one of the highlights of the year was giving a little concert for our parents when we sang the Bible songs we learned. On one occasion, a song in the class's repertoire was about David and Goliath (For those who are unfamiliar with the story, it's about a shepherd boy who kills a giant with a slingshot.) The last line goes "And the giant came tumbling down," but I heard it wrong. Imagine the shock on my teacher's face when at rehearsal, she heard me sing "And vaginas came tumbling down." I almost got kicked out of Sunday school! Luckily, I learned the lyrics right.

Anon
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In the song Silent night theres the part that says

"round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild"

up until 2 years ago I thought it was " Holy imbecile tender and wild"

if thats not bad enough i also went to a catholic school

Anon
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I used to think the words to "Amazing Grace" were "that saved a wrench like me" instead of "that saved a wretch like me". I wasn't quite sure what it meant to be a wrench and I didn't figure out the real words until my mom told me - after I'd sung the wrong words solo in front of my grandparents!

gracy
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my mother used to take me to church every sunday. just before all of us kids went to sunday school, we would sing the "gloria patri." i think this is in all presbyterian churches, but i'm not sure. the line goes something like "glory be to the father..."

up until i was maybe 15, i sang "guinea pig to the father..." nobody ever bothered to show me the words, and i sang it loud and proud every sunday.

brian
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When they sang "When the roll is called up yonder" I always envisioned a piece of bread. It never occurred to me to wonder why a piece of bread would be called to heaven. I just took it on faith.

Anon
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When we were little kids in Alabama, my sisters and I loved to sing our two favorite hymns in church. Eventually we (like so many others) learned that what we called "The Gladly Song" actually wasn't about an unfortunate bear who needed an operation to get his eyes fixed (which was exactly what we could look forward to ourselves, because if we kept crossing our eyes like that, they'd get stuck).

One Sunday morning much later, my mother was totally mystified when we asked whether we'd get to sing our other favorite hymn - the Plastic Thunder song. We had to sing it for her before she understood which song we meant: "I've got a piece of Plastic Thunder standing, down in my heart, down in my heart to stay." She laughed so hard, she cried... the real lyrics? "I've got a peace that passeth understanding down in my heart"...

She'd heard us sing about Plastic Thunder countless times, but never listened closely enough to realize. Of course, to this day we still prefer our version!

Leigh
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When i was 7 i heard the hymn in the church. This hymn was about Sain Ann. I am Ann too so i thought that some people love me so much that they sing about me. I even thanked to some people in the church. I didn't know why they were laughing :)

Ann from Europe
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This isn't mine it's my little sisters:
When she was in first grade she was in the school nativity play and they all had to sing 'away in a manger'
She was convinced the words were 'A Wayne in a manger'! Bless her she must have wondered who this wayne person was and what he had to do with jesus. It was around the time of Wayne Rooneys england debut though...

Anna
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I always wondered why Philemon was beating up James. We used to sing a song to help us learn the books of the New Testament. In it there it was, plain as day: "...Titus and Philemon, he bruised (Hebrews) James, 1st and 2nd Peter..." Seriously dude, leave James alone!

Anon
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When I was a child growing up in the Baptist church we sang a song call "Bringing in the Sheeves", I thought it was "Bringing in the Sheets", and all I could think of was my mother bringing the clothes in off the line and it certainly didn't make her rejoice to bring the sheets.

Crussie Edwards
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I used to think the song"jesus, oh what a wonderful child so holy, meek and mild" was "so holy, Mickey Mouse"

Stephani
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