I thought that if you prayed really hard you would become pregnant. I later thought that kissing got you pregnant.
I used to think that when you pray to god, he really would answer and you would hear it like a magical voice in your head. But every time I prayed, God never said anything back. I got upset. I thought he wasn't listening to me or I was a bad kid and that's why he wouldn't talk to me and everyone in the church would tell stories about how God changed their life and how prayer was so good for them and that just made it worse because I felt like the only one he wouldn't talk to. And since my mom told me that God knows everything, the only reason I thought God wasn't talking to me is because he already knew my future and I was going to be a bad person so he already didn't care for me and I was just destined for hell. Pretty dark huh? When I think back, i think maybe religion is just too extreme for children to really understand but then I'm an atheist so I still don't really get the point
i used to believe that i was the anti-christ, i justified my belief under the idea that god created me for a purpose, so i cant be the bad guy.
I believed when sunlight broke through clouds and made a line to some piece of land in the distance that it was God having a conversation with someone.
I used to believe that my mom would always say "God Bless You" when she left me at daycare in case I sneezed while she was away.
A good friend of mine, as a small child in a religious household, somehow concluded that when people put their hands together in the praying position, it was because God was supposed to somehow be between their hands. She would always keep her hands a little ways apart when praying so as not to squash God, which she thought seemed rude of others not to do.
I thought in Psalm 23:1 where it says "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" It meant you didn't want the lord to be your shepherd!
I used to think that as soon as the palms of your hands were together God could hear everything you say, sort of like a walkie-talkie button. I was afraid to say anything bad or stupid if my palms were touching in any way.
When I was little, during church we'd say our prayers and bow our heads and close our eyes. I guess one day I wasn't listening and let my mind drift off and develop a little theory. When we close our eyes and pray, we are teleported to heaven and are placed before God, who is sitting in this huge throne, and he listens to us ask him for forgiveness and protection. The reason we get so close? He has bad hearing! And if you opened your eyes during the prayer, you wouldn't be able to go back to heaven during THAT prayer as a penalty for leaving without telling God. A couple of times, I accidently opened my eyes because they were itchy and said "Darn it!" under my breath and my mom looked at me funny with one eye. I never told it to anyone because I thought it was a secret between me and God!
Until I was about 23 I believed the Catholic Prayer before dinner said, "Bless us our lord, for these thy GUESTS, for which we are about to receive..." Turns out its gifts. I was apparently a cannibal (not really).
Because in the Catholic religion you do the sign of the cross before and after basically everything you do, I thought it was a on/off switch for talking to God. But I couldn't remember how many times I'd done it, so I was never sure if the switch was currently on or off. I was terrified that I was talking to God during the wrong times, and he wasn't hearing me when I was at church. So every week at church I crossed myself twice when I sat down so that at least 50% of the time I was right.
I used to think the Lord's Prayer was the bedtime saying "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep...".
I wasn't raised religious, so when I learned about prayer used to believe you could pray to anyone you liked, like a sort of magic telephone.
I spent all summer one year praying to my friend two streets away, then getting angry when I saw her and she hadn't got my prayer messages, and accused her of ignoring me on purpose.
When I was very little, I believed that God was an artist named Howard. "Our Father, who does art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..." I also believed that Mary had grapes inside of her. "Hail, Mary, full of grapes..." I rationalized that one because it said, "the FRUIT of thy womb, Jesus."
I believed if I prayed for the Devil, he would start being good for God.
During church, whenever we would recite the Lord's Prayer, I would say "Our Father, Who Art in Heaven, Howard be Thy Name." Out of habit, I didn't even realize what I was saying until I was fifteen.
We had to say the Lord's Prayer at school. Even up to age 12 or so, I never really understood why God was so obsessed with trespassing, ie illegal entry of property.
When I was little, my parents convinced me that if I had conversations with myself and pretended someone was listening, I would get to live in a special land in the clouds when I died. How naîve!
I used to believe that the Catholic prayer that says..."Give us this day our daily bread..." was actually .. "Give us this day our jelly bread..."!
I used to think that if I didn't say "amen" at the end of a prayer, God wouldn't receive the prayer (I thought it was like clicking "send" on an email). I cried all the time because I thought God didn't think I loved him because I would always fall asleep before finishing my prayers.