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I used to think that 'Grace' at the table went: Gone is Great! Gone is Good! Let us spank him for our food. Amen...
My parents were of different religions, so neither one prayed out loud. When I went to catholic shool, I was inundated with all these prayers. The nuns always led the prayers very rapidly so I mis-heard some of the words. There was a line in particular which startled me. Instead of hearing "fruit of thy womb, Jesus" in the Hail Mary prayer I kept hearing "Fruit of the Loom Jesus". That really boggled my imagination. I could not imagine how the Fruit of the Loom company got an ad for underwear inserted into a prayer. I used to wonder how much that cost and who they paid it to.
When I was little I used to think that if I didn't do the sign of the cross before praying God would not listen to me, so when I would forget to do it I would start praying all over again even if I was almost finished.
I used to believe that prayers were like phoning God ie when you made the sign of the cross it was like dialling the number and after you said your prayer you HAD to do the sign of the cross to hang up or God would still be able to read your mind and he'd know if you were doing or thinking anything bad. I also believed that if you were interrupted during your prayer you would have to stop and make the sign of the cross to hang up and THEN you could attend to the interruption. I was about eight years old when I started to doubt this belief but then one day we were saying prayers in class (Catholic school) and the teacher made us do do sign of the cross but then another teacher came in and our teacher just stopped. My friend leaned over and whispered to me and said "Be good, God can still hear us because we didn't hang up". Thus my unusual belief was reaffirmed for another year.
I used to think if you prayed God would "grant" them, like wishes. I was obsessed with Japan at the time and would always pray to be Japanese. (about 8) Every morning I truly believed that when I walked over and looked in the mirror I would have slanted eyes and black hair.
we used to sing the Lord's prayer in first school, it was the one with "forgive us our trespasses and forgive those who trespass against us" as opposed to "forgive us our sins", which for a bunch of 4-10yr olds would have been much easier and would not have resulted in the whole assembly getting to that line in the song and simply replacing it with "sussy sussy"... everyone sang the same thing, NOBODY knew what the real words were!!!
When I was in Kindergarden, the first Gulf War broke out. I didn't understand war, but I picked up enough to know that the Americans were fighting Saddam Hussein. One day my mom told me to pray for my enimies. That night, my prayers included "...and please let Saddam Hussein be blown to smiterines!"
i used to think that the word'amen' was actually 'our men'. so when i was gathered round a table with my rather large christian family, aged seven, and we said thanks for the food, the prayer ended with amen, and i called out at the top of my voice 'and our women too!'
I used to believe that if you opened your eyes while praying, that for however long you had your eyes opened, you had to keep your eyes closed for that much longer after the prayer was finished. So i started closing just one eye, and the other eye that i kept opened would see who else would need to keep their eyes closed after the prayer
when i was little, i thought your prayers would come out of these machines (just like fax machines) and that God would sit in the clouds read them all day.
when i was little i thought that when they say "thanks be to god" they were saying "thanks peter god" so i thought that the lady who always said that was named peter, and i wondered why she had a boys name.
I never did understand why it was "Our Father, who aren't in heaven".
I was raised a catholic and went to a catholic school but I was well into my teens before I could stop saying 'Hell Mary, full of grace etc'...
I grew up in a catholic family. We attended mass every Sunday. I grew up believing the prayer "Hail Mary full of grace" was " Hail Mary full of grapes". Everyone in church mumbled when they said it. I also believed God's name was Peter as I thought they all responded "Thanks Peter God" when in fact it was "Thanks be to God"
when I saw those prepare to meet thy god signs I thought they were beauty parlours for religous ladies only!
I saw this once as a child's intepretation of "Our Father which art in heaven": Our Father Whichard in Heaven ... "
Always before supper we would say the prayer: god is good, god is great, let us thank him for our food amen. Well whenever i said this prayer i would always say: goddess good, goddess great, lettuce thank em for our food amen. One day it just clicked that ive been saying it wrong all my life.
When I was young we started attending church for a few years. I had never been in a church before, and was actually half-Jewish. Every Sunday the pastor would ask everyone to "say the prayer the Lord taught us", meaning The Lord's Prayer. Because he introduced it like that, and because nobody looked in their hymnals while they said it, I thought that it was so sacred that it wasn't allowed to be written down. I thought there was some long, mysterious ceremonial process to learning it, and that we would never be allowed to learn it or say it, since we weren't "really" Presbyterians. (To my mind, you weren't "really" a certain religion unless you were born into it.) I found it in a book at the library and memorized it in secret, as an act of adolecent rebellion. I couldn't for the life of me understand why Mom was proud when I spontaniously recited it to her after a fight.
"Hail Mary, full of grapes, the lord is a tree"
this isnt abouyt me but my little sister, a few years ago(she was 15) she went to a christening, came back and tells my mum,'it was really weird, they kept standing up and saying little poems, no one told me i had to learn poems'