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This may sound absurd but I thought the numbers next to the Bible versus said what time the person said it at!
I used to believe that my wishes never came true becuase when ever I prayed to god, he was either asleep and his answering machine was broken
When I was little I thought that at the end of a prayer my mom would say "And Jesus name my prayers" (She was actually saying "In Jesus name I pray") so I thought that Jesus gave each prayer a title when we finished. Every night I tried to say something extra interesting so he wouldn't have a hard time coming up with a good title.
Being raised Catholic, each Sunday consisted of us going to church. We would be at church kneeling when the priest would say the Eucharistic Prayer. When he would say, "... with the apostles, the martyrs, and all your saints, on whose constant intercession we rely for help"
I was so sure that he said, instead of "on whose constant intersession" he said "who, on Wisconsin Intersection."
I always thought it was so odd that the apostles, martyrs and ALL of the saints would be in an intersection, and try to figure out where exactly WAS Wisconsin Intersection. I presumed it was quite holy. Still to this day, I pretend to hear Wisconsin Intersection instead of the actual prayer!
I used to believe that when you closed your eyes to pray, your guardian angel appeared, and when you opened your eyes, they disappeared. It explained why our church needed such a high ceiling- how else could all the guardian angels fit?
When I was little I heard one of my teachers explaining that prayers will be answered if you have faith in God. I took what she said literally, and expected to one night hear God's voice speaking to me beside my bed returning my prayers. Eventually I figured out what she really meant when we talked about it in class.
I used to believe that when you prayed and your hands where folded together or touching, that was the only way God would hear you, even if you were just thinking. Still to this day if my hands touching and Im thinking bad or naughty things I have to unfold them because I feel like God can hear me.
When I was in pre-school, we were taught to sing "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food" before meals. I always misheard it as saying "God is gray," so I would be vaguely picturing some gray blob and wondering why it mattered what color God was.
When I was little, I had my own prayer. I used to say it every night before going to bed. I thought someone would die if i didn't say it. This went on about a year or so.
My mom thought that God's name was Ed when she was little. She thought the Lor'd Prayer said "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hello! Ed be thy name".
I was rasied Catholic and attended catholic grade school. We were told to pray for something really important and we would receive it through Jesus. Well I started to pray for this really cute outfit I saw in a window store. I prayed for that outfit to 'appear' on my bed for weeks. Needless to say, the outfit did not 'appear'. But a year later I received an outfit almost exactly like the one I prayed for, as a gift. How silly of me to think Jesus would give me something so material as a outfit. But, because of the way I prayed I do beleive He made it possible for me to receive it.
I thought that God's name was Howard. It said so in the Lord's Prayer "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name". It all made sense after that. Jesus H. Christ stood for Howard
When I was five, I thought that if I held a valentine I had made for my mother out the car window letting it flutter in the wind, prayed very hard, and let it go, it would come back to me. It didn't.
When I was about 5 or 6 and we said grace at dinner, I thought the words were:
Lettuce thank him for our food
I used to believe God was like the evil magic genie in fairytales who would grant wishes with unwanted consequences so I had to pray very carefully and specifically so as not to leave any loopholes.
When praying I thought saying Amen at the end of the prayer was the religous version of saying "over and out" at the end of a radio communication.
I was always concerned that after I had said the Lord's Prayer for the first time I had permanently finished my communication with God by saying: "For ever and ever, Amen".
Whenever I was a child around Christmas time, I would always pray to Jesus and then ask him to 'hand the phone to Santa' so I could tell him all that I wanted for Christmas. I would wait 10 seconds, then proceed with Santa, and then whenever I was finished I would ask him to 'hand the phone back to Jesus' so I could say 'Amen' and finally go to sleep.
I guess I always believed that prayer was some sort of spiritual phone-call.
My brother used to say, "Hail Mary, Full of Grapes..."
As I grew up a Catholic, mass was said in Latin. I used to believe that when the priest said "Et cum spirito tu tuo", he was giving out God's phone number-"Etcumspirito 220"
I used to pray, "Hell Mary full of grace." and "Our father who are in Heaven, how will be thy name?" and "Give us, to say, our daily bread."..