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I used to believe that "Our Father, who art in heaven" meant that God was also a painter on the side.
when i was young i used to believe that you prayed over food to cool it down, then i asked my mommy "do you pray over cereal"? she said yeah. and i was like "but its cold!!!"
I am Catholic and when I was little I was a little confused. I thought when everyone sang Hossanna (I KNOW i misspelled that) I thought everyone was saying, "Lasagna" After church one night, my dad took my mom and I to an Italien resturaunt and my mom ordered lasagna. This was when I asked if Jesus ever minded being named after a food.
I thought that you say "In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen" before you pray, and then again after, because that is a toggle switch for prayer on/off.
As a kid, I used to believe that nothing was wasted if you made it a sacrifice to God. So when my parents would pack me a nasty sandwich that I didn't feel like eating, I would silently say "Dear God, please accept my humble sacrifice" and throw the sandwich away. That way I didn't feel bad about wasting food.
My brother used to say, "Hail Mary, Full of Grapes..."
My mom thought that God's name was Ed when she was little. She thought the Lor'd Prayer said "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hello! Ed be thy name".
This may sound absurd but I thought the numbers next to the Bible versus said what time the person said it at!
Because in the Catholic religion you do the sign of the cross before and after basically everything you do, I thought it was a on/off switch for talking to God. But I couldn't remember how many times I'd done it, so I was never sure if the switch was currently on or off. I was terrified that I was talking to God during the wrong times, and he wasn't hearing me when I was at church. So every week at church I crossed myself twice when I sat down so that at least 50% of the time I was right.
I used to believe that doing the sign of the cross opened a connection directly to God. Sometimes, in my prayers, I'd forget whether or not I "closed" the connection, so I'd do the sign of the cross twice quickly hoping that that somehow reset the connection and I could go on thinking normal, sinful thoughts.
I used to believe, that if I prayed hard enough, God would let me have super-powers. But because my prayers weren't working I assumed that I was being too greedy, and each time I prayed I asked for a slightly less impressive super-power than the last time, a bit like haggling with God, I suppose. I started off wanting to be Spiderman. By the time I gave up, all I wanted was a torch in the end of my index finger and a metal box in my belly, with a sliding door, to keep my Marvel comics in!
I read in one of my books that the T Rex used its small arms for preying. I read this as "praying", and wondered how it could get those tiny arms together around its huge body.
I used to believe that when you closed your eyes to pray, your guardian angel appeared, and when you opened your eyes, they disappeared. It explained why our church needed such a high ceiling- how else could all the guardian angels fit?
When I was a child, reciting the Lord's Prayer, I thought the verse was "Lead us North, into temptation..." My father thought it was a riot and wouldn't let my mother correct me. I have no idea how many years I prayed to be led north....
My father told me God always stare down at each people all over the world from heaven 24/7 . I always think I have been monitored by God the entire time and he watched my every move. When I have to go to bathroom, changing clothes,or shower I always prayed to God not to look at me until I'm finished.
In Catholic Sunday school, when I was seven, I finally managed to ask the nun what a thywoom was, as in "blessed is the fruit of thywoom Jesus". I recall it took a while to straighten out the syntax of the phrase, but I was still kind of hazy about what a womb was. Eventually, the nun explained that it was the place where Jesus came from, and I was OK with that. I distinctly remember the nun's clenched teeth during the explanation. I think that the only reason she didn't smack me was because I came from a mixed Catholic-Protestant family and had one foot in Hell anyway.
i used to think that the word'amen' was actually 'our men'. so when i was gathered round a table with my rather large christian family, aged seven, and we said thanks for the food, the prayer ended with amen, and i called out at the top of my voice 'and our women too!'
I used to think if you prayed God would "grant" them, like wishes. I was obsessed with Japan at the time and would always pray to be Japanese. (about 8) Every morning I truly believed that when I walked over and looked in the mirror I would have slanted eyes and black hair.
I use to believe that everything on television was real. One day in school my teacher asked us if anyone had anything they wanted to pray about, and I said yes, and told her all about the terrible accident I saw on CHPS, remember with Erik Estrada, that's when my teacher clued me in that that wasn't real.
When I was little, before I understood anything about religions-- I knew one thing. Praying was important. So, every night, quietly by myself, I'd spend ridiculous amounts of time praying to every fictional character I could imagine-- Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, you name it-- even the little leprechaun for St. Patty's day. And I'd end it by praying to God for everything that I hadn't covered with the others.