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I used to believe God's first name was actually Peter, and he was just a normal guy really although everyone pretended otherwise. They would accidently let it slip in the last sentence of mass, when everyone was eager to get home: "Thanks Peter God"
"God is good, God is great, lettuce thank him for our food Amen"
Im from a catholic family. when i was little i misheard God- for Gordon and when we went to mass i thought we were praying to Gordon ... my uncle ... wasn' t till i was six and asked my gran why everyone i knew prayed to my uncle .. that they understood why i always looked confused at church.
In pre-school we always had to say grace before we ate our milk and cookies. We said the same prayer each time and it always ended in the word "amen". I remember my best friend loudly correcting the teacher that it was infact "a man" or "some men", you couldnt say "a men". Obviously she grasped the concept of grammar sooner than the concept of religion.
When I was about 3 I heard my mom saying that Mary (me) likes corn. Because I did.
But I thought she meant that Jesus's mother likes corn! So that day we went to church and I said very loudly 'Alleluia to Jesus! Corn to Mary!'
I used to believe that if you opened your eyes when you prayed, you would see God and then die.
We had to say the Lord's Prayer at school. Even up to age 12 or so, I never really understood why God was so obsessed with trespassing, ie illegal entry of property.
I wasn't raised religious, so when I learned about prayer used to believe you could pray to anyone you liked, like a sort of magic telephone.
I spent all summer one year praying to my friend two streets away, then getting angry when I saw her and she hadn't got my prayer messages, and accused her of ignoring me on purpose.
When I was little I used to pray for God to put all the bad people in jail. I used to think that bad people flew out of their houses into jail just because I asked.
I was convinced that just before communion, the priest was asking us to "pray as our saviour tortoise - Our Father ..."
I must have been a bit slow myself!
When reciting the Lord's prayer I thought that the words at the end were 'thine is the kingdom, the car and the lorry, forever & ever, amen'
When I went to a private christian school for first grade, there was this song they taught you that went "Read your bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow" and then "Neglect your bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink" and I took it literally. I would freak out if I didn't try to read at least one word of the bible and pray to God every day. I would start measuring myself. I even took it so far as to stop reading and praying for a while when I heard my mom complaining about how fast I was growing up and she didn't like it.
I used to brlieve that when you are about to go to sleep, and you pray, and your laready laying dowm, when you close your eyes to pray. When your finished praying, I always thought you had to open your eyes and close them back or else Jesus would think your prayer would go on ond on.
there was a young girl i used to know that would say 'onion' at the end of grace, instead of 'amen'
because of this line "give us each day our daily bread" I believed that all bread was sent directly from heaven and you had to eat bread everyday or else god would be offended.
I believed if I prayed for the Devil, he would start being good for God.
when i was younger i thought that the line in the Hail Mary prayer that says 'blessed are thou amongst women' was actually 'blessed are those who are swimming'. makes sense, right?!
It's wonderfully comforting to find out I wasn't the only kid wondering who the heck these strange people were who kept cropping up in our prayers. In my Lutheran church we usually said the Apostle's creed during Sunday service. But on special Sundays we said the Nicene Creed. One line says "[he] ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of the Father; from thence he shall come again in glory to judge both the quick and the dead." But as a kid, I always thought the second part of that was "and Nancy shall come again in glory to judge both the quick and the dead", and I just couldn't figure out who Nancy was, or why she was so special that she was not only coming in glory but getting to do the judging as well!
After learning in Sunday school that God can hear your prayers even if you don't say them out loud, I became extremely worried that the devil might also be able to read my thoughts. I asked my mom about it and she assured me that no, the devil cannot read your mind, only God can. After that I refused to pray out loud because I was convinced the devil would hear what I wanted and then make sure it didn't happen. I also made it a point to thank God for things out loud, just to rub it in the devil's face.
I used to believe that my mom would always say "God Bless You" when she left me at daycare in case I sneezed while she was away.