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When I was really little, I thought that the Lord's Prayer went, "Our father, you aren't in heaven...give us this day, our daily bed...the Father, the Son, and the Bully Spirit..." I still laugh at that one!!!
...and, of course, I always believed that we asked God, in the Lord's Prayer, to "lead a snot into temptation."
A four year old friend of mine was very proud to have learned the "our father" at church, and so she was reciting it to me. She ended it with "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us with evil."
Well, i dont know what god SHE's praying to....
I'll never forget one night at dinner when my mom's parents were visiting. We said the Our Father as our Grace, and then, right as my grandfather took a bite of his steak, my little brother asked, "Granddad, are you God?"
See, my grandfather's name is Howard, and my brother thought the prayer went "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."
We still laugh over that night.
When I was little and we would say the prayer "God is great, God is good let us (lettuce) thank him for our food, Amen". I always wondered why we were talking about lettuce and thanking God for our food in the same prayer.
At my daycare center, during lunch, they'd make us say a simple prayer (though at that age I didn't know what a prayer really was). I thought we were saying, "Scott (God)is great, Scott(God) is good, let us spank (thank) him for our food.".
My mom still teases me about this 20 years later.
When I was little and I would say the blessing at dinner.(This is how it went)God is great,God is good,let us thank him for our food.
For YEARS I belived the phrase let us thank him (in the above blessing) was actually lettuse thank him for our food.Made sence to me because we usually ate salad at dinner.
When I was Christian (as a very small child, about 4 years old) at church, we were saying that world without end, amen, thing. I believed I knew every word of it, so I ended up shouting, "World with weird men, amen!" I actually thought those were the words. To top it off, the woman next to my grandmother leaned over and said, "Ain't that the truth."
When i would pray when i was younger i thought our prayers went up in little bubbles to God, so i would blow my prayer up so he would get it quicker.
I used to think that as soon as the palms of your hands were together God could hear everything you say, sort of like a walkie-talkie button. I was afraid to say anything bad or stupid if my palms were touching in any way.
during prayers i always wondered why we had to wash lettuces when the vicar sais"let us pray" I thought he said "lettuce spray"
When I was about 8, our family were burying a much loved pet hamster in a small grave dug in the front garden. My Dad said thanks to God for poor departed Susie's life and we had a little prayer service. At the end of this service, my Dad placed the hamster into the grave with the words,
In the name of the Father
And of the Son
And into the hole you go
None of us were any the wiser.....
Always before supper we would say the prayer: god is good, god is great, let us thank him for our food amen. Well whenever i said this prayer i would always say: goddess good, goddess great, lettuce thank em for our food amen. One day it just clicked that ive been saying it wrong all my life.
When I was growing up, we always said the blessing before a meal. If we started eating before the blessing, I thought the food would be poisoned because God hadn't blessed it yet. I don't know how I survived all those unblessed snacks!
durning dinner prayers, i thought that other things should be included to be blessed along with the beloved food...namely the silverware, the cups, the table its self, and other random objects like the icky car we had i named 'blueberry' bcuz it was blue, cuz i was scared if i didnt theyd kill me whilst i was sleeping...
I used to think it was useless to pray indoors unless you opened a window. If all the windows were closed your words would just bounce off the ceiling so you have to open a window so they can get out.
Even now, as an adult, I often feel that the words are just bouncing off the ceiling...
I used to beleive that if I went to sleep someone in my family would die, so I wouldn't sleep. I would pray for everyone's soul I knew, and then just to be on the safe side, I would pray again. Then I was scared if you prayed twice for the same soul it would cancel out the prayers and that person would die and go to hell. I spent many nights finding the right balance of salvation.
Whenever I was a child around Christmas time, I would always pray to Jesus and then ask him to 'hand the phone to Santa' so I could tell him all that I wanted for Christmas. I would wait 10 seconds, then proceed with Santa, and then whenever I was finished I would ask him to 'hand the phone back to Jesus' so I could say 'Amen' and finally go to sleep.
I guess I always believed that prayer was some sort of spiritual phone-call.
When I was little, during church we'd say our prayers and bow our heads and close our eyes. I guess one day I wasn't listening and let my mind drift off and develop a little theory. When we close our eyes and pray, we are teleported to heaven and are placed before God, who is sitting in this huge throne, and he listens to us ask him for forgiveness and protection. The reason we get so close? He has bad hearing! And if you opened your eyes during the prayer, you wouldn't be able to go back to heaven during THAT prayer as a penalty for leaving without telling God. A couple of times, I accidently opened my eyes because they were itchy and said "Darn it!" under my breath and my mom looked at me funny with one eye. I never told it to anyone because I thought it was a secret between me and God!
When I was little I would say a prayer with my mom before bed. For my prayer I'd say, "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma" and so on.
On night I finally broke down and asked the question, "Mommy does that mean all those people sneezed today?"