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my youngest brother used to believe
that the reason we said grace
before meals was to
cool the food down.
our food was rarely
piping hot, but if it was
you'd catch him doing the sign of the cross
and saying grace several times in
a row so to make the temperature drop.
of course, in the time it took him to recite
the prayer a few times over, the food
was generally cooler anyway.

vanessa
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I used to think that God's name was Artie... My Grandpa said grace so fast before we ate so it sounded like this every time : "Artie, Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for these Thy gifts".... (Our Dear Heavenly Father). It took me years to figure it out.

Carmen Pederson
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When I was little, during church we'd say our prayers and bow our heads and close our eyes. I guess one day I wasn't listening and let my mind drift off and develop a little theory. When we close our eyes and pray, we are teleported to heaven and are placed before God, who is sitting in this huge throne, and he listens to us ask him for forgiveness and protection. The reason we get so close? He has bad hearing! And if you opened your eyes during the prayer, you wouldn't be able to go back to heaven during THAT prayer as a penalty for leaving without telling God. A couple of times, I accidently opened my eyes because they were itchy and said "Darn it!" under my breath and my mom looked at me funny with one eye. I never told it to anyone because I thought it was a secret between me and God!

Emi
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I used to think that when you prayed, you should bend your head and shut your eyes because God in all His glory actually came right into the room with you and if you peeked at all you would be blinded by his glory and beauty forever. I don't know how long it took me to figure out this wasn't true, but it was a major relief.

Jordana
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Didn't Jesus say "And lead us not into Thames Station!"

Chris - Sheffield
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In the Hail Mary prayer, I used to say 'Bless a dark fowl among women' rather than 'blessed art though'

Anon
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when i was little and saying my prays at night, i used to imagine god sitting in a big thrown in heaven on a cloud, a small table next to him with an answering machine on it. each night i imagined him going though all his prays, and listening to mine.

mikaelyn
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I used to belive that if I said my prayers at night God put up a powerfull bubble that protected me from monsters.

Eve
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When I was young we started attending church for a few years. I had never been in a church before, and was actually half-Jewish. Every Sunday the pastor would ask everyone to "say the prayer the Lord taught us", meaning The Lord's Prayer. Because he introduced it like that, and because nobody looked in their hymnals while they said it, I thought that it was so sacred that it wasn't allowed to be written down. I thought there was some long, mysterious ceremonial process to learning it, and that we would never be allowed to learn it or say it, since we weren't "really" Presbyterians. (To my mind, you weren't "really" a certain religion unless you were born into it.) I found it in a book at the library and memorized it in secret, as an act of adolecent rebellion. I couldn't for the life of me understand why Mom was proud when I spontaniously recited it to her after a fight.

propchick
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This is my mothers:
When she was young, she went to a Catholic school, and one of the prayers that they had to say mentioned that God "livest and reignest, forever and ever, amen". My mother was very shocked to hear that God "livest down drainest" and wondered why he couldn't have picked a more pleasant spot to reside, being God and all.

Lara
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i was brought up as a catholic, and during church when they said 'thanks be to god' i genuinely thought they were saying 'thanks peter god'

for quite a while i thought jesus was called peter...

camel
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When I was little, my grandma was very sick with bone marrow cancer. I had a little whiteboard with whiteboard markers so one night I wrote a letter to God on it. I asked him not let my grandma die.

When I woke up the next morning, someone had left a letter on the whiteboard saying my grandma would be fine. For the longest time I really believed God replied to my letter!

I was heartbroken when I found out my dad wrote it!

Kari
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I thought that God's name was Howard. It said so in the Lord's Prayer "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name". It all made sense after that. Jesus H. Christ stood for Howard

Julie
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I used to think the Lord's Prayer was the bedtime saying "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep...".

Calliandra
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I thought in Psalm 23:1 where it says "The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" It meant you didn't want the lord to be your shepherd!

Yulupo Fujak
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My sister and I used to cut across someone's lawn on our way to piano lessons. She convinced me it was okay because the Lord's prayer clearly says, "forgive us our trespasses."

Stephen
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When my brother-in-law was young, he thought the priest was saying: "Dominic, go frisk 'em" instead of Dominus Vobiscum.

Linda
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From the prayer "Our Father who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name." A friend of mine (age 6 at the time) used to think it was "Howard be Thy name" and he used to think it was really cool that God's name was Howard and that's how he prayed to Him.

Matt
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at the end of a prayer in school assemblies i thought you had to say amen really loudly otherwise you would get in trouble with the teacher. We all used to sit on the floor in assemblies and i thought you had to bend over as much as possible (so your head was really near your feet) otherwise the teachers thought you weren't praying

bend and break
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I used to believe that God's name was Harold, because when we said the Lords Prayer at primary school, I thought it was 'Our Father who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name'

Brenda
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