I went to a private school as a child, and I thought they were called "private schools" because you weren't supposed to tell anyone about them. It was weird every time my relatives asked how I was doing in school, only to get the response of "That's a secret."
When I was five or six, I drew on a globe and a teacher snapped, "You must not draw on school property!!".
So I thought that drawing wasn't allowed on school premises.
My teacher held out a hand to say, "stop" but I thought she wanted a high-five.
When my teacher told me to mind my P's and Q's, I thought she was saying "peas in queues" and I was like, "That doesn't make sense!".
In 1st grade the teacher told us on our first day that we could get detention for misbehaving, and I was terrified of having it happen to me. I thought detention meant you weren't allowed to go home that day and you had to stay at school all night copying lines onto the chalkboard until class started again the next morning. One day I finally did get detention - I was whistling during class and didn't admit to it when the teacher asked who was whistling; but a girl one desk over told on me. My impending detention was the only thing I could think about for the rest of class. Needless to say, I was VERY surprised and underwhelmed when the teacher told me, 5 minutes after everyone had left, that my detention was over and that I could go home.
Sometimes at school, the teachers would say things I hadn't told them and would say things like "a little bird told me you're getting a cat" and stuff. I thought it was because they were psychic, but in reality they'd been passing notes with my parents.
When I was 9 years old I believed that the teachers were people who spend all day caring for children and helping them in everything like a nanny but I realized that not only were babysitters who with each one learned different things
Teachers lived at the school
When I first went to School, I thought it was like hell. It's not as a bad as I thought, hehe
When I was in gym class at school I always thought they told us to stand "shoulder with the part" and I remember thinking "what does that even mean?" and just looked at what everyone else was doing to figure it out. I was much much much older when I had the epiphany that it's shoulder WIDTH apart, which makes perfect sense.