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When I was little my mom told me that the school police would see me if I went out of the house while I was home sick from school. I always imagined FBI agents with radios and such. I was always terrified to go grocery shopping or such whenever I was home sick because I thought the school police would find me!
For a while during recess at school (around 1st or 2nd grade) I had this hole I dug that I kept trying to make bigger (with my bare hands). It never got very big, but I was convinced that eventually I would find something valuable like gold.
Until I was 14 or 15 I really believed there were Truancy Officers who checked up on kids who didn't go to school, to be sure they were really sick.
When I was a freshman in high school, I remember when my phys. ed. class was learning volleyball. My phys. ed. teacher taught us about a "forearm pass" and I thought he said "four-arm pass." Sometimes when he told us to do a "forearm pass", I got confused and thought, "How can you do a four-arm pass if we only have two arms?! I'm not Goro (from Mortal Kombat)! It took me some time to realize what my teacher was really saying.
My school was K-12 and in Kindergarten not only did I think the older students were going to kidnap me if I walked up the staircase alone at the beginning of the day (meaning that I had to wait for a classmate to walk up with me) but I also thought they were full fledged adults who had their own houses and everything. I figured out the truth in about first grade when I saw an ad for one of the seniors in the year book from their parents. It said they were going to miss hearing music coming from their daughter's room while she studied. I was confused as to why someone would do homework in their parents house if they had their own place...
My sister is about five years older than me and I would watch my dad help her with her algebra homework. I didn't understand the concept of variables so I believed that each letter of the alphabet had an assigned number, which seemed way too complex for my naive brain.
I used to believe that school was a gigantic house, with no doors or windows ,with just three walls, I thought that the students were together in a big room (regardless of age), and there was just one teacher. I believed this until my first day of school.
When I was little I believed that school was compulsory until you got a PhD.
I went to a 'private' Christian school my first two years of school. When I heard people talking about private school, I thought that meant that people would have to knock on the door before they came into the school. Even after I started attending, I kept wanting to tell people coming through the front double doors, "Hey, you're supposed to knock." I never had the courage to speak it though. I realized about 4 years later what it really meant and that belief has always made me laugh.
Before I was old enough to start attending school I used to believe that kindergarten was candygarden and that when you went to school there was tons of candy for you to eat.
I used to believe that when you circled a letter on a multiple choice the letters couldn't Breathe. I never completely circled them.
I used to think that we'd learn how to read by getting sat down in a weird room someday and having intelligence magically installed into our brains, thus having the power to read everything.
I used to believe that when teachers told the class, "see you next year!" right before winter break, that this meant that we had a whole year off from school. I was later shocked to find out how fast a year went by...
When i was little, i used to think that schools did not exist until my kindergarten year and that school was just an experiment to see if its worth it. I use to be extra bad just so they would cancel it and realize the experiment was a fail.
You know the "pink slips" you got when you were bad? When I first heard of them, I thought they would get an actual pink slip - as in women's underwear!
When I was little my first grade teacher told me to add a check next to certain things we agreed with on a hand out. She neglected to add the word "mark" next to check, and the only check I knew of was the one my mom used to buy things with. So I proceded to draw out what a check looked like until I looked around to see why I was taking so long.
In preschool, I thought that the letter N came twice in the alphabet- W X Y N Z
At school we were told God is inside of us, so when i got pins and needles in my foot i thought it was God vacuming my feet....... ????
I used to believe that getting a tardy slip at school meant you had to wear a leotard all day as punishment for being late.
When I was in the early grades, my teacher told us to bring manila folders to school the next day. I thought she said Vanilla folders, so I went home and told my mother than I needed to bring a vanilla folder to school. She had never heard of them, of course, and, after calling several stores asking for vanilla folders (because i insisted that that was what the teacher said), and getting no satisfaction, she finally called the teacher (much to my mortification), and was informed, after the teacher quit laughing, of the correct kind of folder, we had to go into the next town to get them, because my mother was too embarrassed to go to a local store and admit her mistake. I still sometimes make the mistake of calling them vanilla folders.