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When I was in Preschool Smokey the Bear came to teach us fire safety. He kept saying, "Only you can prevent forest fires!" Only I was 3, so the word prevent was beyond my vocabulary and I thought he was blaming it all on me. "Only you, Tennille, can start forest fires!" I had nightmares for years.
Back in elementary school there was a girl in my class who thought a stapler would only work on paper. To demonstrate this she tried to staple her tongue, thinking that it just wouldn't work. Well, it did.
I used to believe that when the compresor on the water fountain kicked in that it was taking my picture and charging me for the water so I always tried to finish before this happened.
I remember thinking that school NEVER ends. I thought when my parents "went to work" it was just like they were in 40th grade or something. One day my mom told me to get ready to go to our neighbors graduation. I asked what "Graduation" was and when she told me I was like "SCHOOL ENDS?????!!!" I was SO excited!
I used to imagine schoool as being a hallway made of bricks with bars and stools. The students would sit in the dimly lit, narrow corridor and write all day long. Beside them would sit a bowl of water to rest their hands in when they got writer's cramp.
When I in kindergarten, teacher once said, "Raise your hand if you know the answer." Having never heard the phrase "raise your hand", I thought she said "raze your hand" - "raze" as in "razor"! So I started miming an electric razor shaving the palm of my hand! Everyone laughed and I was so embarrased!
During my time at Infant school we always had an assembly on Monday mornings. Every time just before we said the Lords prayer one of the boys would get up and leave the hall. I asked a friend why and he told me that the boy was a Jehovah’s Witness. For years I thought it was odd that he had to talk to the police every Monday.
I used to see posters on the school noticeboards saying 'Remember Rubella' and thought that it must have been about a girl who died horribly at school because she was messing about.
Before I started secondary school, I used to think that getting detention meant being locked up in a small dark room by yourself for an hour.
I had a friend (Tom) at primary school who was forever getting his words mixed up. He arrived home one afternoon and told his mother he had been exercising in the school's new gin museum (he meant gymnasium).
The night before my first day of kindergarten, I was very excited. I pictured "school" as this cross between a medieval monastery, a planetarium, and a mad scientist's lab. People in long flowing robes. Wild chemistry set-ups with bubbling flasks and spirals of glass tubing. At "school", I would finally get to learn the secrets of the universe.
Imagine my surprise at the kindergarten classroom. My heart fell, but after a bit, leaped with hope again as the teacher said that we should "line up to all go to the lavatory". I heard "laboratory", and thought this was finally it. Clearly they had all the cool stuff hidden in some other part of the building.
But then saw the prosaic tiled wall and then realized it actually meant "toilets".
School has not lived up to my dreams yet, but I think I'm still looking for that same thing.
When I was in the first grade, sixth graders where huge. I was certian that they lived on their own and drove cars.
In maybe 3rd grade, I was sitting in class daydreaming, and suddenly the teacher was asking me to go to the office to get a "one hole punch". I thought it was some sort of punishment for not paying attention, but dutifully went to the office and told the receptionist that I was there for the "one hole punch". All the while I was wondering if the principal, a tall bearded man, would be administering the punishment himself.
I was relieved when she gave me this funny metal instrument to take back with me. Phew!
I used to think that "going steady" meant you paired up with a girl and then the two of you would study for tests and do homework together.
When i started school i really hated it and told my mum i didn't want to go any more. My mum told me that if i was a good girl and went to school monday - friday she would let me have saturday and sunday off. I was really pleased about this and so went to school monday to friday without any fuss. After a few weeks i got talking to the other kids at school about how lucky i was to have saturday and sunday off. This is when i found out that everyone had saturday and sunday off!!
When I was little, my older siblings went to mixers. Mixers were when all the Catholic grade schools went into a gym and "mixed". I never asked what mixers were because I didn't want to be stupid.
So, up until I actually went to one, I believed mixers were evening cooking classes.
In the first grade, I heard one Mom talking to another Mom, bragging about how her child had gotten "straight A's"
I examined my own perfect report card very carefully, quite upset that my A's might not be straight.
When I was at primary school the "big" kids had studied the french revolution, and they had made a cardboard model of a guillotine. They were going to show it to the school, class by class. It was my class's turn on a Friday, and I had been told by one of the "big" kids that they were going to chop off our heads. I didn't want to seem like a coward and so I didn't tell my brother or my parents. I went to school in the morning after saying goodby to my Mum and Dad, and I thought "this is it". Well, the time came and of course there was no execution. Unfortunately i peed myself in the line to go into the class because of my nerves.
I used to believe that the Chinese boy in my kindergarten class flew from China every day to get to class.
In my first week of kindergarten, we were offered the opportunity to attend bible school (in an RV parked off the school campus) once a month. However, my parents were not religious people, so I'd never really heard of the bible. I had, however, seen "An American Tail" way too many times.
Spilling off of the school bus that afternoon, I told Mom, very enthusiastically, about my chance to go to Fievel school! I just couldn't wait to learn more about that adorable Russian mouse!!!