school: teachers

When I was 5, just starting school. I used to believe that my teacher, Mrs Branch, was actually my second mummy!!! It toke alot of explaining from my REAL mum to make me understand she was only a teacher.

When my son was in the 4 year old transition class, he came home, very serious, and informed me that his teacher did not know her colors. Trying not to laugh, I asked him why he thought that. His reply, which was also very serious, was that everytime his teacher held up a color, she asked them, "Class, what color is this?" After turning back to his work he looked back up and said, "and to think, she is trying to teach us!"

When I was 6, on the last day of term before Christmas, there was a rumour going round my class that our teacher was in fact a burglar who had put time bombs in our Christmas crackers so that wehen we pulled them, we'd be blown up!

When I was in kindergarten and year 1, I always wondered how the teachers knew just what to teach and when. My theory was (and I have never, ever told anyone this) that the teachers had invisible headphones that only teachers could see, and someone sat somewhere and told them over a radio what they had to do. Then later I discovered they use lesson plans and a syllabus and stuff. I'm not entirely sure I believed my theory myself, but it's what I came up with.

We all believed at primary school (aged 7-11)that any single teachers of the opposite sex were always having a secret, passionate affair. I suppose it was being kept a secret from our stern headmistress.

I thought that teachers were assigned to certain grades based upon how smart they were, i.e., the ones who taught first grade were the least intellligent, the 2nd grade teachers were a bit smarter than the first grade teachers, and the 4th grade teachers must be the smartest teachers of them all. Then I told my 2nd grade teacher a really big vocabulary word ("entomologist") that my 1st grade teacher had taught me the year before, and when my 2nd grade teacher truly didn't know what it meant, it blew my mind.

When at school i always feared a failure and believed that the teacher is always looking at me

My sister was in seventh grade and, had a school orchestra conducter named Mrs.Upper, and
whenever she waved the baton around, her bum would wiggle in that direction, which earned her the name, Mrs.Upperbutt, because it was believed she had a pendelum up her bum.

when i wuz in primary school, ther wuz this little library and there wuz a cupboard thing. me and some other kids wer in ther one time and the teacher ahd just left. there was a bang and one kid said a teacher killed children and the ghosts went round being naughty. then the fire alarm went off and we all ran out screaming.

When I was in year 7, I always believed that teachers didnt know much, because they were always asking us kids the answers to questions. I remember thinking that kids were far more clever than the teachers. I also stupidly thought that most teachers liked me because they kept putting kisses next to my answers

My best friend and I were convinced that a new male teacher was a spy, and spent ages trying to persuade the other kids this was so. One of his main complaints was that there never seemed to be any paperclips when they were needed, so we came to the conclusion that he was secretly stealing them and selling them, and that his complaints were just a cover. Thankfully, I was only 7 at the time and had an highly active imagination, so I have an excuse! But if you're reading this, Mr Mooney, I'm on to you...

When I first started school we were told that we had to ask permssion from the teacher to go to the toilet, i took it a bit too literally and thought I had to do this ANY TIME I wanted to go to the toilet, following an embarrassing incident during lunch i was corrected.

During my first few years at school, I kept hearing that "teachers have eyes in the back of their heads", so I thought that when someone became a teacher, they had to have an operation to get an extra set of eyes! I also wondered why a lot of lady teachers had long hair. What's the point in having eyes in the back of your head if you keep covering them up? (fortunately I didn't embarrass myself by asking that!)

I thought teachers secretly lived at school over the summer. They lived in big pickle jars full of some kind of fluid or maybe plugged into electric outlets to recharge in the small bathroom in the back of the classrooms. Why else would they stack all those boxes of Kleen-ex up in the windows?

I used to laugh about it until my son entered the first grade. I was pretty shocked to discover he had the same teacher I had... and, I swear to God, she hadn't aged a day!

I believed that teachers lived in rooms above the school gym.

I BELIEVED THE TEACHERS COULD READ MY THOUGHTS