I thought teachers secretly lived at school over the summer. They lived in big pickle jars full of some kind of fluid or maybe plugged into electric outlets to recharge in the small bathroom in the back of the classrooms. Why else would they stack all those boxes of Kleen-ex up in the windows?
I used to laugh about it until my son entered the first grade. I was pretty shocked to discover he had the same teacher I had... and, I swear to God, she hadn't aged a day!
During my first few years at school, I kept hearing that "teachers have eyes in the back of their heads", so I thought that when someone became a teacher, they had to have an operation to get an extra set of eyes! I also wondered why a lot of lady teachers had long hair. What's the point in having eyes in the back of your head if you keep covering them up? (fortunately I didn't embarrass myself by asking that!)
My best friend and I were convinced that a new male teacher was a spy, and spent ages trying to persuade the other kids this was so. One of his main complaints was that there never seemed to be any paperclips when they were needed, so we came to the conclusion that he was secretly stealing them and selling them, and that his complaints were just a cover. Thankfully, I was only 7 at the time and had an highly active imagination, so I have an excuse! But if you're reading this, Mr Mooney, I'm on to you...
When I was in year 7, I always believed that teachers didnt know much, because they were always asking us kids the answers to questions. I remember thinking that kids were far more clever than the teachers. I also stupidly thought that most teachers liked me because they kept putting kisses next to my answers
I used to think that my school headteacher was called the Head Mischief as opposed to the Head Mistres.
Well, I only ever saw her when I'd been up to mischief!
When I was in Primary school, our teacher used to explain some things by starting a sentence with "When I was a little boy..."
Damn you Mrs Hudson, I thought that when I grew up I'd turn into a woman!!!!!!
When I was younger I used to believe that my school teachers were actually my parents in costumes. I was always paranoid about getting in trouble as a result. My beliefs were reinforced whenever I did something bad at school and by the time I got home they knew about it.
Little did I know about secretaries and phone calls.
When I was little, my mom worked at a preschool. When I was three and was old enough to go to school, I went to the same school where she worked, so she knew all of my teachers. One the first day of school I came home and said to my mom "Do you want to hear something really strange?" She said yes so I said "All of my teachers have the same first name." Since she was friends with most of the teachers she knew that was not true. She said "Are you sure?" and I said "Yeah, they're all named Mrs!" My mom almost died laughing and still tells the story to the teachers at all of the school events!
When I was in Kindergarten and First Grade, I used to think that pencil sharpeners "refilled" the lead in pencils. You stick the pencil in, the sharpener puts on a new point. But this idea was finally shattered for me in art class in First Grade, when I used colored pencils for the first time. I was amazed that the pencil sharpener also stocked COLORED lead! I was so excited that I went and found the teacher to announce my findings to her. She looked at me like I was crazy and explained to me how a pencil sharpener REALLY works. What a disillusioning moment....
When I was in primary school, maybe 7 or 8, I was in a school assembly and our principal was making a speech. He was just joking around with us when he said one of the secretaries at the school was a ninja and that we had to keep it a secret. I really, truly believed the woman was a ninja and that if we told anyone, we'd get detention.
It was the first day of school at a new school in 6th grade. my history teacher told us that in all the smoke detectors there were cameras so when he lfet the room he could still see us so none of us ever talked or made any noise when our teacher left the class
I used to think my elementary school gym teacher's name was "Jim Class".
When I was in first grade I had a teacher named Dershell. And because she was not married she was a Miss - so it became Miss Dershell or in my mind Mr. Shell - I spent the whole year confused why we were calling a lady Mr.
when i was in kindergarten one of my friend told me her brother told her that when school is over the teachers dont leave they just roll themselves up in the projection screens and shut down.
I used to think that adults could read minds. This was very embarrassing, because once, while taking piano lessons, being the little pervert that I was, I thought to myself how hot the teacher was. "SORRY! SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" I yelled. She had no idea what I meant.
I used to think my best friend's head was a jawbreaker. Like the kind with different coloured layers inside of it.
I'm not exactly sure what led me to this conclusion, but I remember waking up from a dream and just knowing that Anna-Lee's head was a jawbreaker. I never told anyone that I knew, because I thought my grade primary teacher would eat her.
I think this fear stemmed from the fact that once my little sister found 20$ on the ground, on the way to school... and of course, when you're little, you trust the teacher. Paula told her she found it, and the teacher kept it. I remember how mad I was.
I never trusted Mrs. Macleod again. She took the money, so why wouldn't she eat Anna-Lee's head?
I thought that there was a big warehouse/factory type place, miles and miles away, where substitute teachers went and would just wait; drinking coffee and chatting and such; for a teacher to call this place and say they would be out sick. A substitiute teacher would spring into action and drive seriously fast to school in order to be there before all the kids.
I used to believe that teachers didn't actually have first names and they were all christened with the name 'Mr' or 'Miss' so they knew they were gonna be a teacher when they grew up.
I used to believe that the teacher's lounge was where the teachers went to make out.
In Junior's school (6-11 yrs old) we seemed to have loads of fire drills. I used to stand in the cold and quietly seethe at the stupidity of our teachers...
I was convinced for some reason that one of them had gone into the staff room during lessons and burnt a piece of toast which set off the fire alarm.
This might have been because this was how our smoke alarm at home always went off - I wondered how long it can take for someone to wave a newspaper under the fire alarm to shut it up so we could go back inside. It didn't even matter how many times we were told we were having a fire drill 'some time next month', I would invariably whisper to whoever was infromt of me in line 'they burnt their bloody toast again!'