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One day when I was nine I really annoyed my mother. She told me then that she did not know how my teacher could stand being around thirty third-graders all day; if she were a teacher there would have to be a keg in the teacher's lounge. I got curious and asked my teacher the next day if there really WAS a keg in the teacher's lounge. The next parent-teacher conference was not pleasant.
On my first day of school ( I was 5) I was introuduce to the principal who was named Mr Baker. I asked him if he baked pies for all the kids on the play ground. I was disapointed to learn that was just his name and there would be no pie.
In elementary school I used to think that when you got homework, you were doing the teachers work, like they were pushing thier work off on you, and when you did "thier" work wrong they punished you for being careless with thier work by giving you a bad grade!
whenever i was mad at one of my teachers i'd draw pictures of them puking and shitting all over the place because that was the most humiliating thing i could imagine, and for some reason i believed that my drawing this would make it happen for real.
When I was in Primary School I had a teacher that all of knew didn't like kids or for that matter being a teacher. One day he came in and said: hand up all the Catholics in the class(3 x put a hand up) and he told us 8 year olds that we were to blame for all the murders and killings in Northern Ireland. I went home from my school in Australia and asked my parents when the Hell were they in Ireland and why had they never told ME that they had traveled abroad let alone murdered people for nothing. This same teacher's measurement class involved him coming and slamming books down saying "there are 12 inches in a foot" Later he just said" "there are three feet in a yard" and i spent a whole weekend pacing out our back-yard trying to work the statement out because there was definitely MORE than three foot(lengths) in my yard alone - let alone the houses with biogger yards!!! I even tried wearing my father's shoes when measuring things out as the teacher's calculations might have been done with 'grown-ups' shoes on
I got in trouble once in school for rolling my eyes around while the teacher was talking. She told me that I was unscrewing my eyeballs and if I wasn't careful they would fall out. I got sent to the principals office after that - I was afraid after what my teacher told me- so of course I screwed my eyes around the other way...
My first-grade teacher always used to wear either dress pants or long skirts. When my mom and I were out grocery shopping one day and saw her at the store, however, she was wearing shorts. I said to my mom, "Wow, Mrs. T. actually has legs!"
in the first grades I used to believe that my teacher didn't sleep, go to the bathroom, eat, have family or kids, have home. It was a sensation when I discovered that she was a human being like me. I couldn't come out of the shock for several weeks.
As a kid (and up until I was about 11) I believed that teachers were not actually allowed to have kids of their own. No idea where this came from or why it lasted so long. (I'm now a teacher!!)
Raised as an only child, I used big words for my age and usually got the meaning right. However in 1st grade, I came home and told my parents that I had a prostitute teacher that day! My parents didn't set me straight, when I reached 4th grade I'm sure they wish they had. I insulted their company in when I found out the woman was a "substitute", I refused to sit by her and asked my parents why they would lask a woman who sold her body, to dinner. I got set straight that night!!!
I thought teachers knew absolutely everything there was to know!
I also stared at the back of their heads for hours, looking for the eyes.
I was in 2nd grade when the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded. I was in the office pretending to be sick when everyone started freaking out I only heard snippets of their conversation but concluded that the teacher on board was MY teacher since she wasn't at school that day. I wasn't sad about her though, I hated her. Mrs. Garfield if your reading this...you made my life hell.
When I first started secondary school, our form teacher introduced us to our Head of Year, and told us that as long as you kept on the right side of him he was fine, but he could get rather awkward if you got on the wrong side of him. I was 11 then, and even at that age I thought that meant he preferred you to walk on his right-hand or left-hand side!
My brother told me when I was four (he's six years older than me) that during nap time his teacher would walk around with a board with nails in it. She would hold the board close to your face to see if you were sleeping. So when I started school I believed the same thing and would never let myself fall asleep during nap time. My brother is 30 now, and still says it really happened. I still kind of believe him.
When I was in preschool (3 or 4), we used to have a gym that we used an old dark staircase to get to. The teachers didn't want us to fall so they sang a song about keeping your hand on the railing. It went to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it" except the words were "keep your hand on the railing on the wall". My child brain thought that they were telling you to put your hand on the railing and then put it on the wall. So I was constantly switching between railing and wall. I only recently realized that they meant that the railing was on the wall.
I used to believe that teachers cut off student's fingers with the fans they kept in the front of the classroom if they were caught using them for addition.
I believed that teachers lived in rooms above the school gym.
My mother is a teacher and when she was sick she once said she was ordering a sub (substitute) i thought it was a sandwich and exclamed "I want one to!"
In 2nd grade, I didn't do my homework, and had never missed an assignment before that, and I thought the teacher was going to send the police to arrest me, and that night I kept hoping that my teacher wouldn't show up with the police. She never did ,obviously.
I believed that teachers went home and talked all the time about history, science and math. I felt really sorry for their kids.