school: teachers

When in my first year of school, I was convinced my female teacher was really my dad in disguise, sent to watch over me. I thankfully never told my teacher or my father this, because I felt I'd be in serious trouble if i rumbled his secret identity.

I used to believe that the principal was the mother/father of the teachers and staff of the school and they were all brothers and sisters. I started this belief in first grade. It stopped around fifth grade.

When I was in third grade and I had changed schools, I always thought my old friends from my old school wore costumes and masks to hide themselves and pretend to be different students and one day they would surprise me.

When I was about eight, I thought that all teachers had bad breath. My mom said, "What's teacher's breath?" Turns out that every teacher I had had up until then was a smoker. I just thought it was part of being a teacher.

When I was in second grade my friend and I thought our elementary school was being taken over by elves. There were these big storage rooms out by the fence where the elves lived. There were huge machines that the elves would opperate and control the teachers' minds. We would go around all recess carrying sticks looking for these elves to kill them. We had a club called the Elf-Haters Club. Lol

Kids pulling the fire alarm in my Middle school was common. The teachers told us if we pulled the fire alarm that ink would shoot out onto your hand so that way they could tell who was responsible.

When I was in elementary school I believed that the teachers had buckets down at their underwear to go pee...Cause they never did! All us kids used to pee like every hour or so, and the teachers never did...So, I came to the conclusion in the 2nd grade that they peed in buckets under their dress'

When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher had a bee-hive hairdo. I'm talking like at least a foot and a half tall. One of my friends told me that she hid dead babies in her hair, and I totally believed her! Actually, I think everyone in the class did. She wasn't a very nice teacher.

When I was in kindergarten the teachers told us not to go in the "teacher bathroom". All it really was was a handicapped bathroom and it just had more space. Well our bathrooms were totally closed off (you couldn't see over, under, or from the sides) so I just thought they had a secret little "teacher place" in the "teacher bathrooms" with things like a restaurant, spa, etc. and they were trying to keep it a secret from us.

When my sister was in kindergarten she thought the dress code was some kind of code that the teachers wrote in by drawing dresses and different dresses meant different words.

I used to believe that teachers' first names were just 'Miss' or 'Mr'. I used to feel sorry for them that they had no proper name. I also thought that they lived in the walk-in cupboard. (That's why we weren't allowed in there.)

In first grade my teacher told the entire class that she was 104 y.o. like kids we believed her. I told my mom and brother. And my brother who had her 15 years before told me jokingly that she was 104 when he was there to. I was confused but for some reason I continued to believe that she was 104 until my mom later confermed that when I was there she was about 50.

When I was in kindergarten, I believed that all the nuns were really men. One day I stood at the bottom of the stairs and tried to look up one of their skirts to see - only problem was I didn't know exactly what I was looking for - pants maybe? The nuns were not real happy with me.

During St. Patrick's Day one year, my teacher stapled a leprechaun that she cut out of paper to the wall and told everyone that she was finally able to catch one. Every once in a while, our teacher or a student would exclaim that it moved, and we'd all get excited. This got to the point where all of us were actually convinced that it was constantly moving. I didn't realize until a few years later that the leprechaun couldn't possibly have been able to move. Its arms and legs were stapled down! (Who knows when I figured out it wasn't even a leprechaun....)

Kindergarten was the first time I ever saw a white board. I didn't know what it was. So, when my teacher took a marker and started writing on the board I told her she was being bad and shouldn't write on the walls.

I used to believe that if you gave your teacher a hug, they would attatch a camera to your back and they would watch your every move. That's how they know everything about you.

In the first year at junior school our scary teacher Miss Brander used to threaten to have us thrown into kindergarten if we misbehaved. I though this was an actual garden and envisaged a big pit made of dry earth, inhabited by miserable children. The prospect petrified me.