the top 200 beliefs
When I was little, I was that kid, the one asking all the endless, annoying questions. One day, I was inclined to ask my mom what in the world was beneath the streets. I mean there’sdirt under grass and every kid knows if you dig long enough through that you'll hit China, but what happens if you dig up the roads? So I posed this question to my mother who replied that there was water beneath the pavement. She failed to elaborate on this point with a statement such as “There are big man-made metal pipes with water in them in order to provide citizens access to running water” so I was convinced that there were oceans under the roads. Oceans. And what do oceans have in them? Freaking SHARKS, that’s what. For half of my childhood, I was convinced that if there ever was a problem with the roads or an earthquake tore up the surface or something, it would open up to these Hellish oceans, and we would all drown in a deep sea of marine life and be eaten by sharks.
When I was little I expected every word had an abbreviated version i.e. hamburger to burger, etc. I made my parents drop to the floor laughing when I was 7, asking them "Don't only old people live in condoms?" I thought I was talking about condominiums.
I used to believe that "exotic dancers" were girls who did choreographed dance routines with wild animals. I wanted to be one until I was like 11, when I found out that "exotic dancer" was a euphemism for stripper.
One Christmas I noticed that my mom and Santa had the same handwriting. When I pointed this out to my mom she said, "Santa has lots of helpers." It suddenly all made sense. My mom was one of Santa's helpers and she didn't go to work because she was secretly making toys somewhere. Maybe even in our house! I never did find the secret toy factory in my house.
i used to believe that if i ate mushrooms they would grow on me
I one time asked my dad what comets are and he said they are made of dirt and ice. Based on this I thought if I got some dirt and ice I could throw it into space and make my own comet!
When I was 4, my 5 year old brother convinced me that the weather forecasters lived in the cracks in the earth. (We lived back a dirt lane and anytime it was dry the ground cracked on the surface) I felt bad for them so used to yell down to them to keep them company. I also shoved cookies and crackers through the holes in case they got hungry.
I used to believe that waves were created by angry, hungry whales in the ocean. I made sand cupcakes and put them on a boogy board and let the waves wash them away. I thought that feeding the hungry whales would make them happier and then there wouldnt be any more waves.
i used to believe that a carreer as a super hero was possible
I used to believe they used special effects to make movie kisses look real, since obviously they couldn't be forcing actors to really kiss people they weren't in love with.
My dad used to call the toothfairy and haggle with her a fair price for my tooth. I would always get scared when he would say "$10 dollars or nothing" and beg him to go lower. I once even got a vcr.
When I was about 5, I thought body shops were where people when when they broke an arm or leg. I imagined racks of arms and legs hanging from the ceiling. If you broke something, you went to the body shop and they replaced it. The cast was because it was healing together. I was terrified because they looked to be such filthy places and I couldn't imagine that car bodies were important enough to have whole shops named for them.
Whenever one of my fish floated belly up to the top of the tank my dad would take it out. He told me that the fish were going to Dr. Fish-a-ma-jig. Not sure why I never realized that the doctor's office was actually located in the toilet.
When I was little I used to think that adults had a very hard time not tipping over due to their height... I was scared to grow taller.
When I was a kid I took two showers becaue I thought my hair was a plant and needed the water to grow
My dad told me a haggis was an animal which lived in the Scottish mountains and 1 of its legs are shorter than the others so it could only run round in circles around the mountain which made them easy to catch. I believed this until I was about 14-15
When I was a child I believed that the wind was caused by the world moving really fast through space. The more windy it was, the faster the world must have been spinning.
i used to believe if a cow laughed, milk would come out from her nose!
We used to live in a farming town, and when we drove by the fields I would see barrels of hay wrapped in white plastic. My parents told me that they were giant marshmallow farms.
I used to believe that the devices that we used extensively would get tired, which is why we needed to turn them off. One day, it struck me that the same devices that get "tired" should also be thirsty, as I was after playing around outside.
So, I started quenching the thirst of the inanimate objects I valued, with coke, which included the telephone in the living room, my portable cassette player, my game console, and a couple of remote controlled cars (as well as several action figures.)
My mother stopped me just in time before I moved on to "help" the living room TV.