the top 200 beliefs
When I was 6 I used to think that Cream of Mushroom Soup was actually called "Queen of Mushrooms" Soup. When we were grocery shopping one day I warned my parents not to buy it because if they made too much of the soup the Queen of Mushrooms to lose her mushroom forest. My mom took a can off the shelf and told me to read the label. I felt so silly!
I used to believe that quitting something 'cold turkey' meant that you ate cold turkey instead of smoking or doing whatever else they're trying to quit. I figured that since cold turkey doesn't sound that delicious, they must be so distracted by how annoying cold turkey tastes that they forget about their addiction.
I thought that there were little ant people in my stomach who lived a in a little hut and lived in family units. They dressed like peasants. Their job was to take the food I ate for themselves and make poop to push outside my body. When my cousin told me that if I ate seeds the fruit would grow inside of me, I purposely started eating watermelon seeds to reward the ant people for their hard work.
When I was in grade school we had a history lesson about the Civil War and Reconstruction. The teacher told us the United States had split apart and then after the war the Southern states had to rejoin the rest of the country. I thought she meant literally split apart. I imagined people using big boards to nail the country back together.
When I was little I thought birds were having important meetings when they sat together on the telephone wires.
I was about 4 years old on a boat trip round a harbour when the tour guide pointed some big old ships moored at the side of the harbour explaining that the boats were "being run with just a Skeleton Crew". I turned to my dad an exclaimed,"Eugh, imagine having to step over all those dead bodies"
I once asked my dad why the police can't catch the robbers since the stripey tops, black masks and swag bag give them away. Obviously all burglars where this attire all the time!
For the longest time, possibly even into adulthood, I thought that cart with one wheel and two handles that workers sometimes use to wheel around anything from dirt to crap to cement mix was called a wheel barrel instead of a wheelbarrow. Strange how no one corrected me during all the times I had talked about wheel barrels. Then one day I found out, I had innocently been going through the dictionary when I made a shocking discovery, I was like WTF is a barrow?!
When I was 4 I overheard my mom talking to my dad about a doctor's appointment she had. I asked her if she was going to see Dr. Pepper, as I believed this was the only doctor there was.
I thought that 911 was the number you called for fire/emergency because that was the temperature fire burned at (i.e 911 degrees farenheit)
Walking at night my 4-year-old daughter kept staring at the moon above the trees. "I think the moon's following us," she said. "Papa, you stay here." She walked about 100 feet, staring constantly at the moon.: Then she stopped and called out, "Papa, come here!" I did, while she kept gazing at the moon. Then she said,"No, it's not following us. It's only following ME!"
I thought it was illegal for women to use Just For Men hair coloring
I thought the police didn't have to follow the law and could do whatever they want. My reasoning was they were the enforcers of the law so who would arrest them or whatever? I wondered why all the bad people didn't just become cops so they could do crimes with impunity.
I thought if someone asked something and said please you had no choice but to do it (I think my dad told me this once when I wouldn't do something)
When I was little, my grandfather used to tell me that if you ever got sent to jail, the only thing they would let you eat would be birdseed and Coca-Cola. I believed this for years and was terrified that I would get sent to jail if I was bad in any way, and I would sit and contemplate how they could possibly make people survive on just birdseed and Coke! I believed it for a long time until I finally found out the truth. Although I am proud to say I've never been arrested for anything :)
Once when I was a kid, I heard my mum fart and when I asked if that was her she replied: "No, mothers have lost their capapility to fart." For the longest time i believed her and couldn't wait until i bacame a mum so I didn't have to fart anymore.
You know how some medicines and the like have the label saying "keep out of reach of children"? Well I thought it meant if a kid was in possession of it they would go to jail. I remember one time when I had Chicken Pox I had some lotion i could put on and my mom let me hold onto it but because it has the "keep out of reach of children" on it I was scared the police might somehow find out I had it and throw me in jail!
When I was around six I had a book of magic tricks that was also a pop-up book that served to carry around little things used for performing the trick (you take them out of little pockets in the pictures in the book). Well, there was one picture that took place in a restaurant or something and there was a dollar sticking out of a character's pocket that was removable. Thinking it was for a trick, I removed it and the tab on the end of it says "Put it back, you thief!" I freaked out and shoved it back in the pocket, thinking the book had really saw me take the dollar and thought I'd been trying to steal! I was afraid to even look at that page for a while.
When I was little my dad told me that when he got something in his eye he used to go to the hospital where they would take our his eyeball which was on a long string and wash it in a bowl! For ages I thought our eyes could be taken out on long strings!
Ah, the stories I could tell on my superstitions..
But one of my personal favourite beliefs as a kid had to be my fears of ghosts. They literally haunted my childhood.
This is a little long..
I was one of those kids with an overactive imagination and a love of horror films, which quickly proved a bad combination. I was hooked on the films during the day and terrified once the lights went out.
All of this resulted in the eventual belief forming that if I did not have every part of my body covered by the duvet, a ghost could grab me and "drag me away." I was never clear on where I would be dragged; just certain I would be pulled from the safety of my bed into some place of unknown horrors.
"The duvet rule" as I referred to it, was not only necessary when I was in bed. It was also vital if I got up in the night to use the bathroom or get a drink.
So, imagine the fun as, my head covered by a duvet, and my hands clutching the sheets around me, I shuffled down the landing, feeling my way to the bathroom each night. It made quite a sight for my parents, should they wake up.
Also, I was firmly convinced that a ghost lived under my bed. Don't ask me how. But I was convinced an evil spirit waited there for me and it was only a matter of time before we met up. To prevent this, I went to the extremes of keeping a hammer beside my bed.
This belief died a death the night when, my dear older brother, who knew of every one of these fears, decided to hide under my bed after everyone was asleep, for his idea of a joke. He waited there, shook the bed slightly until I woke up, and then slid his hand up and grabbed my ankle.
I was prepared for the moment. I let out a blood-curdling scream, reached out, grabbed my hammer, leant down to my ankle, and firmly battered the hand holding it.
My parents were not pleased with being woken up. I was not pleased with my brother's sense of humor. My brother was not pleased with entering casualty with three broken bones in his hand.
But one good thing came of it all. For some reason, the night completely erased my fear of ghosts. So I guess it wasn't all bad.
My brother, nursing three broken bones, may not have agreed.